Awww, the early years. Slut in the making. Baby Britney. How cute. How HCHUGH!!!!!

It's a girl . . .no, wait, it's a boy. No, definately a girl. Wait, it looks like a boy in a dress. Or maybe . . .

Okay, what's with her head? It's slanted! Baby Slantney . . .I'll add that one to my book.

"Wait, mommy, I'm having another panic attack. Can't . . .go . . .on stage. Can't . . .dance!"

"Mommy, I can hear the ocean in my arm!"

"Mom! Mom! A trophy!" "Hang on to that, you won't be seeing another one for a while . . ."

"Umm . . .I want some fake boobies, and hair extensions, and my cousin Chad!"

"HO HO HO! Why don't you ask Santa for something you need, little girl, like TALENT! HO HO HO!!!!!"