"Just Why DO You Despise Her So Much, Tiff?"
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, right? Well, here's mine. I don't care if you're a Britney fan and/or you disagree with what I am saying, it's all about the 1st amendment, baby. RELAX people, it's just an opinion. Feel free to express yours on the message board, in the guestbook, or by emailing me. I would be happy to hear your reactions to the following:
She can't sing. And don't try and tell me she can. My bird could whistle out of his ass-hole and and make a better sound than that nasal, whiny, groan that comes out of her that some people prefer to call singing. Who knows where she'd be without all that expensive studio equipment . . . sure, she's moving her lips on MTV and shaking that little booty of hers while playing "cute southern belle," but remember Milli Vanilli? Oh dear, no, I'm not accusing her of not singing her own songs. . . but if Milli Vanilli pulled it off without making a sound, just think how far Brit takes it with that so-called singing voice of hers . . .
She is stupid (because getting implants at seventeen is just SO smart). Dare to contradict me? Just click yourself on over to "How Stupid Can She Be?" and find the answer to that question. Don't think I make anything up, either - I get all my information from the most reliable sources - Britney fan sites. And you know how attached those teeny- boppers are. They never lie.
She is a slut. Alright, go ahead. You can gang up on me all you want for using the word. But truthfully, I can't think of a simpler word to use without making it an understatement. Slut is the word . . .okay, and maybe she really isn't one, but she sure dresses like one (Um, Brit? Sorry, but your left ass cheek is showing. Oh, you knew that? Ope, sorry . . . it's just that by the look of your nipples protruding through your shirt I can see it's a little cold out, and I wouldn't want you to catch influenza. But since you seem to like the breeze against your cheeks, nevermind.) And if she's the little faithful church-goer she says she is, then maybe she should check the Bible - acting like something is just as bad as being it.
She is a hypocrite. Yeah Brit. Go on Brit. Make sure you tell ALL your adoring fans to respect themselves, be themselves and to be confident, but then get breast implants to promote your strong moral values. Really, Brit, it's an excellent career move and everyone will love you for it - oh, don't worry, no one will notice! BUAH! Hint my sarcasm? I would hope so. Check out "Bitty Bit to Bigger Bit." Then tell me she didn't get those babies done.
She is a liar. I haven't quite decided yet if it's really lying, or plain and simple stupidity. Who'd you get your first kiss from, Brit? Justin? Or was it from the neighbor boy on your front porch when you were 14? I just don't get it. Oh, and another thing. Learn your tenses - "DID you date Justin" is completely different from "ARE you dating Justin." Don't tell us you are if it's something that the poor boy willingly forgot about six years ago. MMC was canceled a while ago, hon.
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