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Chapter1
I woke up slowly, feeling slightly disoriented. Had last night been a dream? I stretched luxuriously and moaned happily. My eyes came open, blinking at the harsh white light of day that streamed in through the nearby windows. I'd forgotten to close the dark green curtains. Normally the morning sunshine has a hard time finding me with the curtains drawn.
I felt someone move next to me, and I smiled as I blinked sleepily at the person's prone form. He looked like an angel while he slept. His short, light brown hair was mussed. His long dark lashes rested on his cheeks, hiding his beautiful clear blue eyes. I loved his proud nose and strong jaw. I bit my bottom lip as my eyes ravished his face. God he was beautiful.
His shoulders and upper arms were peeping out from underneath the covers. His left arm was closest to me. I reached out with one hand and trailed my fingers lightly over the cross tattooed there. He either felt or sensed my touch because he moved his arm up and allowed me to cuddle up close to him.
His arm encircled me and I sighed happily. I rested my left hand on his taut belly. My other hand was smashed between us. My head rested on his shoulder, and I tipped my head up so my face was nuzzling his neck. I closed my eyes...and relived the night before.
***********
I never before thought that he noticed me. Not as a woman he could be with anyway. I always believed that he saw me as just a friend. The night before there was a party. Nothing big, just a few friends and their significant others. If they had one. I hadn't had one in a long time.
Surprisingly, HE showed up alone. Without her. We talked. We drank. Not a lot, but enough. We laughed. A lot. He had his limo take me home. I asked him if he wanted to come in for a bit. He did. We talked more. I made him laugh easily. Suddenly he was looking at me funny. The next thing I knew he was kissing me. Or was I kissing him? Does it even matter?
With my eyes still closed I moved my hand up his chest. I felt myself smile. I decided that it really didn't matter who started kissing whom.
He was a good kisser. What am I saying? He was a GREAT kisser! I was completely blown away by his kisses. They excited me. It felt like we kissed for hours. The kissing led to some light petting. Then some heavier petting. Next thing I knew we were in my bedroom and we both had our shirts off. Everything else came off after that. Part of me felt like a slut. Another, larger part of me had wanted this for so long...wanted it from HIM...that I forgot about feeling slutty. Of course, the touch of his hands, lips, and tongue helped quell that feeling quite a bit.
I don't know how long we took. But I do know that we made love more than once. And it was heaven. I was in heaven. Because I loved him. I'd always loved him. Still...after all this...I was afraid to tell him that. Because of her.
Chapter 2
I must have fallen asleep again because when I woke up he was looking at me and smiling. I felt his fingers playing with my hair. I smiled at him. He kissed the tip of my nose.
"Good morning," I said quietly.
"Good afternoon," he replied with a grin. I giggled.
"Whatever it is, it's good," I said with a smile.
His hand cupped my cheek. His thumb trailed over my lips. “It’s very good,” he agreed before he kissed me.
Sighing, he rolled out of bed and stood up. Completely unselfconscious. I tried not to stare. And failed miserably. He was so thin, yet muscular. Small in stature.
“I need a shower,” he said as he stretched. Yawning and scratching his belly, he walked into the adjoining bathroom.
I lay in bed debating with myself. Would it be presumptuous of me to join him in the shower? What if he enjoys his bathroom privacy enough to include showers? I heard the water start to run and the shower turn on. I decided to take a chance.
Naked, I climbed out of bed and tip-toed to the bathroom. As I moved closer to the door I saw that he hadn’t even shut it all the way. I smiled and peeked inside. The room was quickly filling up with steam.
I slipped into the steamy bathroom, leaving the door wide open behind me. I crept silently up to the burgundy shower curtain. I could hear him singing to himself. His voice was so beautiful. I stopped with my hand on the wall. I closed my eyes and listened. I really loved his voice.
Quietly, I parted the shower curtain and peeked inside. Oh my he looked yummy all wet and soapy!
He stopped singing and looked at me, blinking. “What took you so long?” he asked with a grin. I grinned back as I climbed inside and stepped into his warm embrace.
Chapter 3
I sat at my vanity table with my legs crossed. My dark gray velvet robe hardly covered my nakedness, but I didn’t notice. I watched him getting dressed as I brushed my long hair. It seems I couldn’t stop looking at him. Maybe part of me believed everything that happened was a dream. And that I was still dreaming.
He caught me looking and smiled. “Is there something wrong, Lauren?”
“I’m trying to decide if this is real or not,” I confessed.
He stood and walked over to me as he slipped his blood red shirt over his head. He bent towards me and cupped my chin in his hand. He kissed me gently, causing my heart to flutter. His lips were soft. Moist.
“Does that feel real?” he asked softly.
Too happy to talk, I simply nodded. “Come here,” he said, grabbing my hand and pulling me into a standing position. He wrapped his arms around my waist and buried his face in my neck. I slipped my arms around his shoulders and we stood like that for some time. My eyes closed. I can’t recall ever feeling so happy. But, as always, I was pessimistic. He still had HER. Didn’t he?
“Brian?” I said softly.
“Yeah?” came his muffled reply.
“What about...you know. Her.”
I felt him tense up a little. “Who?” he asked.
I let out a short bark of fake laughter. “Don’t play with me, Brian.”
I heard him sigh heavily as he lifted his head up to look at me. He moved his hands to cup my face. His beautiful eyes searched mine. He sighed again like a man defeated. He let his hands drop. Then he walked over to an overstuffed chair by the window. He fell into it like he was exhausted.
The drapes were fully open now. Bright light washed through the room. Brian gazed outside, drumming his fingers on the arm of the chair. He started to gnaw on his thumbnail. I closed my robe around me and approached him silently. I placed my hand on his and guided his hand away from his mouth.
He gazed up at me and smiled softly. “I’ll think of something,” he said finally as he took my hand.
Pulling on my hand he guided me closer to him. I straddled his lap, my knees getting stuck in the cushion of the chair. I didn’t mind. We kept gazing at each other. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and played with the soft curly strands of his hair. He wrapped his arms around my waist and rubbed my back. My robe fell open. He never took his eyes off of mine.
Slowly he leaned forward until our foreheads touched. “I love you,” he whispered. I felt my breath catch in my throat. “I love you too,” I admitted.
Chapter 3
Brian and I spent the next week and a half together. It was the most wonderful time of my life. He was completely sweet and romantic. He lavished me with attention and gifts. Whenever we went out anywhere he would make sure to rent out the whole place. I thought it was because he wanted me all to himself. I found out differently a couple weeks after he went back on tour with his band.
******************
“Go away,” I said through clenched teeth. Brian stood on the other side of my front door that I refused to open.
“No,” he replied. “I won’t go away until you let me explain!”
“What’s there to explain, Brian?” I said, my voice rising. “It was all over the television! All my friends couldn’t WAIT to call me and rub it in my face. They think I made everything up! They don’t believe that I even KNOW you!”
“Lauren, please!” he begged. His voice cracked when he said my name. My heart felt like it was breaking in two. “It’s not my fault! I was just doing as I was told!”
“You were told to make out with her on TV?” I asked incredulously.
“Someone actually TOLD you to kiss her at the premiere of her movie?” I felt like laughing through my tears. The whole idea was ludicrous.
“Something like that, yes, now will you please let me in so we can talk?” Brian asked, pounding on the door again.
I could make out his form through the flimsy white curtain that covered the window in the door. Suddenly, a larger, taller form appeared, making me jump.
“Come on, Brian,” said a voice. “She’s too upset to listen now. Give her some time.” I placed my forehead on the door and tried to listen as tears coursed their way down my cheeks. Brian’s reply was muffled. Unintelligible. I peeked through the curtain and saw his friend place an arm around his shoulders. They talked quietly. I thought I heard Brain sob. It felt like my heart was breaking all over again.
“I’m leaving,” I heard Brian say. “But I won’t give up.”
They turned and walked slowly down the sidewalk to the driveway. I pulled the curtain back and saw Brian’s tall blond friend open the passenger side door of a purple prowler. Brian slid slowly, almost painfully, inside. The car roared to life and the blond backed out of the driveway with Brian seated next to him. I saw Brian place his hands over his face.
My heart felt torn into a million pieces. I turned and leaned back against the door. I sobbed and sobbed. It hurt so much. He said he loved me. Then he was seen by half the world kissing his old girlfriend. How could I believe anything he said after that?
Chapter 5
Brian was true to his word. He didn’t give up. Every day I received phone calls. So I changed my number. When he found out the new number I got another, unlisted number. Somehow he managed to find out what my new number was every time I changed it. So I got an answering machine and screened all my calls. He sent me gifts and flowers. I never looked at them. Just sent them right back. He would come to my house and try to get me to talk to him. Every time I saw him it broke my heart a little more. Eventually I stopped going home. Then I up and moved. I left no forwarding address. I didn’t tell anyone where I lived. I turned into JD Salinger. Basically I disappeared. I holed up in my new apartment and wrote. I was a freelance writer. But I wasn’t writing for anyone but myself.
About two and a half months after I found out about Brian, I realized that there was something more wrong with me than just a broken heart. I didn’t feel right. So I found myself a general practitioner.
As I sat on the chair in the examining room, wondering why God ever deemed it possible for a doctor to stick a cold metal prong in a woman’s most private of places, the doctor returned. He was smiling.
“I have good news for you Lauren,” he said cheerfully.
“I’m not dying?”
The tall, thin, graying man with thick spectacles roared laughter. “Oh, hardly. You’re pregnant.”
It seemed like my heart came to a complete stop. I felt my eyes widen and my mouth fall open. “Excuse me?”
“Pregnant! Isn’t that wonderful?”
I just sat there. I didn’t know what to say.

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