Quotes that are in bold are the quotes that I find myself using in day to day life. Let them enrich your vocabulary too!
Plot: After Peter is rejected by a machine for a job at a toy factory, Mike applies and outwits the machine. The guys must also help Pop, an old toy maker, find success with his latest invention, the boomerang.
Check It Out:
What Have We Learned Here, Children?:
Quotes:
Plot: Davy accidentally acquires some important spy film from a bumbling foreign spy, Boris. The Monkees are commissioned by the C.I.S. to lure Boris and his companion, Madame, to the C.I.S.
Note: The same woman who plays Madame plays the Vampire’s niece on the Monkees second Halloween eppie.
Check It Out: The “Saturday’s Child” romp. One of my favorites!
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Plot: After meeting a little boy on the beach, Davy ends up having to take care of the boy’s Pet horse, Jeremy.
Check It Out:
What Have We Learned Here, Children?:
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Plot: Mike gets conned by a phony songwriting producer.
Check It Out: Does anybody know what the sketch is that Peter holds up during Micky’s scene as “MD”?
What Have We Learned Here, Children?:
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Check It Out: Miss Buntwell is a chain-smoker. Blah!
What Have We Learned Here, Children?:
Quotes:
“Little joke. ‘Bout that big.”-Micky
Plot: Late with their rent, Mr. Babbit evicts the Monkees. Instead of being thrown out into the street, the new tenant, a middle-aged woman, takes them on as borders. The guys spend the episode trying to get her married off.
Note: Rose Marie, the woman who plays Millie was a famous for her role on "The Dick Van Dyke Show".
Check It Out: The “Sometime In the Morning” dance scene. Sometimes I think it’s corny, other times, sweet.
What Did We Learn Here, Children?:
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Plot: The Monkees are left in charge of an answering service.
Check It Out: Davy must have ESP. He knew the name of the answering service lady, Mrs. Draydel, and she never even introduced herself.
What Have We Learned Here, Children?:
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Plot: The guys travel all the way to Manhattan after receiving word that they are to star in Mr. Baker’s new production. Until Mr. Baker’s backer backs out…
Check It Out: Isn’t that a cool toy Davy carries around with him at the Millionaire’s club? I want one!
What Have We Learned Here, Children?:
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Plot: The guys get a job as extras on teen beach movie.
Check It Out: The shirts Mr. Kramm wears. I swear I’ve seen them on the Monkees before. Namely Davy and Peter.
What Have We Learned Here, Children?:
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Plot:A Russian ballet dancer falls in love with Peter’s face. The result? Peter gets kidnapped, Davy repeatedly gets his hat knocked off, and Micky ends up dancing around in a chicken suit.
Note: Mike does not appear in this episode until the end when they show the guys singing an early version of “She Hangs Out”, most likely recorded beforehand.
Check It Out: The “guns never solve anything” scene. Hilarious!
What Did We Learn Here, Children?:
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Plot: The guys realize that their lease includes a raising of the dead at midnight.
Check It Out: This has to be the shortest I’ve seen Davy’s hair. That mean guy, Henry (who showed up as “Ronnie” in “One Man Shy”) has a thing for chewing on cloth. He does it in “One Man Shy Too”.
What Have We Learned Here, Children?:
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Plot: The guys get conned into being servants at an out of the way hotel to a group of female bikers.
Note:
What Have We Learned Here, Children?:
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“No it’s not man. They won’t let people with long hair in Disneyland.”-Mike
Plot: The Monkees unknowingly accept a job babysitting a young boy over the Christmas holiday. The boy is a really uptight, so the guys try to show him the meaning of Christmas.
Note: The boy who plays Melvin is the same boy who plays Eddie Munster on “The Munsters”
Check it Out: The “Riu Chiu” performance. Classic. Notice how Peter smiles at all the guys while Micky is singing, but Davy is the only one who smiles back.
What Did We Learn Here Children?:
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Plot: Micky buys a cursed monkey’s paw and ends up loosing his voice.
Check It Out: The club owner played the lawyer in “The Picture Frame”.
What Have We Learned Here, Children?:
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Plot: In order to win a band contest for “mixed groups only”, Davy must dress up like a girl so the Monkees can enter.
Note: Charlie Smalls, the man Davy interviews at the end of the show, wrote the musical, “The Wiz”.
Check it Out: The “Door Into Summer” performance. Davy (Miss Jones) jumps like Peter or somebody touched him on the backside. Also, the symbols on his tambourine begin to fall off until the whole thing falls apart at the end.
What Have We Learned Here, Children?:
Quotes:
Tippy's Share of the Sidewalk!
Episode #3: Monkee VS. Machine
The only time (I think) that Peter dresses like a woman.
1.) Machines are stupid.
2.) The boomerang was invented in 1966.
3.) The person who goes the furthest in life is the one who knows how to make (slaps palm of hand with fist) decisions!
“Occupation.”-Machine
“Peter, you dig? Pete.”-Peter
“You dig peat? Occupation: peat digger.”-Machine
“What do you do in your spare time Mrs. Notwhat?"-Machine
“Listen, I’m a man!”-Peter
“In your spare time you are a man.”-Machine
“While I’m shaving!”-Peter Episode #5: The Spy Who Came in From the Cool
What Did We Learn Here, Children?:
1.) Never buy a cheap pair of red maracas from a fat guy with a Russian accent.
2.) Never trust anyone named “Madame”.
3.) You can’t hear a nod.
“That’s okay, we usually take it to the drug store.”-Peter
“They’re the only way to sell a vacuum cleaner”-Peter
“I grow daffodils-Peter Episode #8: Don’t Look a Gift Horse In the Mouth
The winking Mike! (I am not a Nezhead, but I have to admit, that was interesting!).
The guy who plays the Dad appears once again as the minister in “Hillbilly Honeymoon”.
Oh, and what’s with that jeep the guys drive out to the farm? Where’d they get that?
1.) Looking for a friend lost in a pile of straw? A pitchfork works best!
2.) Only in Monkee-land can you get milk from a Bull.
3.) How many Monkees does it take to get sand out of Davy’s boot? The world may never know.
Episode #12: I’ve Got a Little Song Here
1.) Peter + Puppies = Cute!
2.) If you can’t open it, burn it.
3.) To sound like a big man, use your initials as your name (i.e. M.D.).
“Oh, you know I will, Danny.”-Mike
“No, it’s only a rumor. We’re just good friends.”-Joni Jans
“What”-Mike
“Hey, Mike?”-Peter
“What Peter?”-Mike
“My mother says you have the best posture of anybody she knows.”-Peter
Episode #14: Dance, Monkee, Dance
Plot: Peter and the guys get suckered into signing lifetime contracts to “Renaldo’s Dance Au-Go-Go”. They spend the rest of the time trying to get out of it.
1.) Read your contracts
2.) Never trust any place that advertises the “Dancing Smoothies”.
3.) Don’t object so much, you’ll live longer.
“Van Johnson! Van Johnson! President Van Johnson!”-Peter
“No,” Miss Buntwell
“Van Heflan!”-Peter
“No, no, no.”-Miss Buntwell
“Which is wrong, Van or Heflan?”-Peter
“Van is right, but it’s his last name!”-Miss Buntwell
“Oh, Van is his last name…Van…Moving van!”-Peter
“Oh, no!”-Miss Buntwell
“Pickup truck!”-Peter
“All day. All day suckers!”-Peter
“Well, why not?”-Miss Buntwell
“ ‘Cause I don’t have no money.”-Mike Episode #27: Monkee Mother
Micky wrote a song called “RoseMarie”.
Oh, and the face Peter makes when he says “Heartburn, she’s up to heartburn.”
1.) Talking all the time about other people’s problems is very boring.
2.) Blondes don’t care.
3.) It is possible to be married off in a week.
“What is today?”-Micky
“Monday”-Mike
“It was Peter. Peter puts the filth down on Monday.”-Micky
“The fingers should be eaten separately-Mike
“Don’t be a Mr. Mouth.”-Millie
“I can’t move your arms either.”-Mike
“It’s only 3’o clock in the afternoon, she’s still got time.”-Davy
“No.”-Davy
“Actually, I don’t care.”-Clarise
“I’m no good for you, you know.”-Davy
“I don’t care.”-Clarise
“Terrible temper”-Davy
“I don’t care.”-Clarise
“I wander.”-Davy
“I don’t care.”-Clarise
“Cruel too.”-Davy
“I don’t care.”-Clarise
“I love you Clarise!”-Davy
“I don’t care.”-Clarise
“Thing about blondes, they sure don’t care.”-Mike
“No, not Clarise.”-Micky and Peter
Episode #28: Monkees On the Line
Oh, and the same lady reappears in “Monkees a La Carte” as Big Flora.
1.) Be careful when playing with gavels.
2.) Don’t get involved with the clients.
3.) Save the California Condor!
“She must be awful skinny”-Micky
“What are they?”-Ellen
“Well, it’s the California State bird. You know (flaps arms) whoohoo blaaaahhh.”-Mike
“Gobble, gobble, gobble.”-Micky, Peter and Davy
“Anything, as long as it hurts.”-Ellen
“Jumped out the window.”-Davy
“No, she promised she wouldn’t do anything until tomorrow.”-Mike
“Then she jumps out the window.”-Peter Episode #30: Monkees In Manhattan
The look Mike gives Peter when Peter walks through Mike’s interview at the end of the show.
1.) We need a new appreciation for garage doors.
2.) A man who can’t open bottles can’t do anything right!
3.) Glasses without lenses are very stylish.
“Of course he’s sick. He had sham when he was twelve years old.”-Micky
“Uh, Houston-Mike
“Comfortable? I’m very rich!”-Davy
“Really?”-Rich Guy
“Yes, and so do all of my wives.”-Micky
“I’d go back to the Village and be a folk singer.”-Peter
“I’d go back to the Village and watch him be a folk singer.”-Davy
“I’d probably go burn the Village.”-Mike
“Yes.”-Peter
“What?”-Bob
“Texas.”-Peter
“Davy?”-Bob
“Ursula Andress!”-Davy (followed by cheeky grin)
“You’d better watch out for these guys.”-Davy
“You are not, I’m uglier than you!”-Mike
“You are not, I’m the ugliest!”-Davy
“I’m the ugliest! It’s me! It’s me. It’s me.”-Mike
“Alright, I loose!”-Micky Episode #31: Monkees At the Movies
If you read the inscription on the two director’s chairs on the beach, they say “Mr. Kramm” and “Yes Mr. Kramm” LOL!
1.) In 1967 it cost eighty cents to go to the movies.
2.) When in a vengeful situation, quote Shakespeare.
3.) If you dance too hard, you could disappear.
“Story of my life.”-Davy
“And drive where?”-Bob
“Drive no place. Drive out on the freeway and give it a flat tire and stand there and scratch your head.”-Mike Episode #41: The Card-Carrying Red Shoes
1.)Never fall in love with someone because of his or her face. (Even if it is Peter’s)
2.) Guns don’t kill people, Micky does.
3.) Chickens have feelings too.
(Natasha dejectedly hands gun to Micky)
“Alright! Hands up! You’re takin’ orders from me!”-Micky
(Davy starts crying.)
“Not you ding-a-ling!”-Micky
“You can’t do this Micky!”-Peter
“Shut-up Face! You’re gonna walk down Primrose Lane with a bush, well Jones and I are gonna walk the last mile! The road of no return!! The last goodbye!!!”-Micky
“Yea! Yea! The Primrose…and the Lane!!…and the…What is all that Primrose stuff?”-Davy
“I have no idea. Not bad for a long haired weirdo, huh, America?”-Micky
“I’ll get you a bicarbonate soda!”-Peter
“No, we’re from the BVD.”-Davy
“I have not heard of the BVD.”-Ambassador
“Well, we investigate the MKVBD ‘cause we’re an undercover organization that undercovers the eh..”-Davy
“We cover the unders and when we’re under the covers the BVD is known as the under were.”-Micky
“Bawk! Bawk!”-Micky Episode #43: A Coffin Too Frequent
1.) Read the fine print on leases.
2.) Mike can “ruint” 60 years of service.
3.) Don’t drink too much tea when you have a cold.
“I’ve been able to read since I was fifteen years old.”-Peter Episode #42: The Wild Monkees
1.) Appearances can be deceiving
2.) Laying eggs makes you special
3.) It’s an honor to be considered a chicken.
Episode #47: The Christmas Show
1.) Some kids can be real brats. Especially rich ones.
2.) Four hundred dollars doesn’t go very far.
3.) Pine needles are tasty!
“Yea, a kid.”-Davy
“We’ll use child psychology.”-Micky
“Should I go an’ beat ‘em up?”-Davy
“Right.”-Micky
“Don’t cry.”-Mike
“No, I won’t.”-Peter Episode #51: The Monkees Paw
1.) Old guys get annoyed with young, fun guys. (see ending blooper)
2.) Use your wishes carefully.
3.) 142% is a great interest rate on a loan!
“Oh, well, I’m afraid you’re outta luck, he’s out back sleepin’ it off.”-Mike
“After much persuasion, I the Regular Lama, will break down and give you this. It is a monkey’s paw.”-Mike
“Are you kidding? Have you ever heard him sing?”-Peter
“Yeah, and the good times can’t last forever.”-Peter
“You can say that again.”-Peter
“I think you spell monkey with a ‘y’.”-Mendrick’s Daughter Episode #56: Some Like It Lukewarm
1.) Be suspicious of everyone
2.) To distinguish between your boots, call them “He” and “She”.
3.) Ringo Starr has soul.
“Kinda like a raggy, hairy bone.”-Micky
“It was the ah…”-Micky
“Some Little Out of the Way Place that Nobody Ever Goes?”-Davy
“Yea, the ah, Southside branch.”-Micky