Setting: Exam room 1.
Wufei and Quatre are attempting to repair the damage to Duo caused by
operation payback.
Quatre: <this is what he is writing in the chart>
Patient complains of foreign object attached to posterior.
States "was just sitting down on the john".
Maintaince detached patient from structure in order for proper removal.
Patient appears deeply agitated from incident. Manufacturer of glue contacted for proper treatment of skin
contact.
Wufei: Stop moving! It'll
never come off if you keep moving like that!
Duo: It hurts! Stop
pulling on it.
Quatre: I'm afraid that you brought this upon yourself.
I've been hearing about your attacks with salami.
Duo: It's Spam.
Quatre: You mean that canned meat?
Duo: That'd be it.
Quatre: May I ask what you did with the offending pig
muscle?
Duo: Well, Spam has this taboo about it.
Everyone seems to have at least a can of it in their possession, but no
one actually eats it. So I made a use for it other then giving it to a food drive.
Spam itself is abnormal in consistency; it has a substance coating it
with a molecular structure that causes any one who it comes in contact with to
shudder uncontrollably, ultimately causing the person to be rendered helpless
for a few minutes.
Quatre: <shocked> What?
Wufei: How can you possibly believe such utterly senseless
garbage?
Duo: But it's true, I read...OWW!! Would you be careful?
That's a really sensitive area!
Quatre: Just because you read about it doesn't make it
true.
Duo: But I've witnessed it quite a few times.
It's proved my hypothesis.
Quatre: Did I honestly hear Duo say hypothesis?
Wufei, pinch me, I think I'm dreaming.
Wufei: I will not touch you, do it yourself.
Quatre: But don't you find it a bit odd that Duo is talking
this way?
Wufei: I'm sure there is a reason for Maxwell's sudden
"intelligence".
Duo: Don't you even want to hear my hypothesis?
Wufei: I'd rather not; it's bad enough that I'm here
attempting to pull this seat off your rear.
Duo: Too bad, I'm gonna say it anyways.
I'm trying to prove that with repeat contact with Spam the reaction it
causes will increase.
Wufei: Great, semi-natural rufies(I appologize that I
haven't figured out the actual spelling to that drug yet).
Quatre: Where on Earth did you get an idea like this?
Duo: From my Experiments with Spam Volume 2 Unabridged
Version. <smiles>
Quatre: <sweatdrop> Uh, right.
Duo: <shrieks> ITAAAIIIIII!!!!
Wufei: I'm done here. <hands Quatre toilet seat>
Finish up here, I'm going to dinner.
Duo: Sure, he has an appetite.
Quatre: Well you are definitely going to be sore for a couple days. You should really give up your "Spam experiments". Next time they might not play so gentle.