SCENE 9

Setting: Exam room 4.  Duo is entering with a pair of tweezers.

Duo: Hello Mrs. Septum, I’m Duo, your nurse.

Mrs. Septum: I…uh (hic) got a sliver (hic) in my tooshie.

Duo: Might I ask how you got a sliver in your tooshie? <Puts on gloves>

Mrs. Septum: I…um.  Well (hic) the pool boy and I (hic) and we have (hic) wood floors.

Duo: I really don’t need to know anymore.  <Starts process of removing aforementioned sliver>   So do you have any kids?

Mrs. Septum: Yeah, I (hic) got three kids and (hic) ten grandkids.

Duo: And yet you’re doing the pool boy? <Realizes what he just said>

Mrs. Septum: My husband (hic) can’t get it up.

Duo: Uh..yeah.  Do you hiccup often?

Mrs. Septum: Only when I drink (hic).

Duo: Mind if I ask you how much you drink then?

Mrs. Septum: I’m not (hic) sure.

Duo: Let me rephrase that…when was the last time you were sober?

Mrs. Septum: <looking proud> 1984!!

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