Part 2
After returning to my suite I take my hair down and let it gently fall around my shoulders. I almost wish that I could be someone else. The responsibilities for being a queen are great and someone as immature as I should not be carrying that burden. How old had Relena been? 15 I believe when she took her place as leader of the Sanq Kingdom. She was very young also when she took up this monumental task. But she had the choice. I was forced into this position by something as trivial as genetics. The blood doesn’t make a good leader. It takes charisma and a good mind. I have neither.
The tragedy surrounding my eventual rise to power still scarred my memory. I had just turned 13 and was enjoying being a little princess. Maybe I was spoiled too much, but I had desperately tried to grow into my parent's image. They had taught me many issues in politics. I could recite all the ideals of every government known to man. But politics wasn't everything that I wanted in life. Some spare time would be nice. Maybe some real friends would be enough to change this cool heart of mine.
My father had left my mother and I alone as he went to a conference on L4. She was killed in her sleep. A man had broken into the mansion and slit her throat. I was his next target, but he was shot by one of the guards outside of my closed door. I may have never seen the man, but his blood flowed into my room from under the door. I still see that image as I attempt to fall asleep at night. It curses my dreams. I fear sleep now.
My father was heartbroken and decided to never leave my side again after loosing my mother. I couldn't have imagined what reaction he might have had if I had been killed also. He gave his life for me as we fled the burning hotel during a conference. A bomb had detonated and over 80 persons had been immediately killed. We struggled to make our way out when a support beam fell. I would have been hit had my father not pushed me out of the way. I swore to not leave him there, but he slapped me and told me to get out. 'If you don't live, there will be nothing left' were his dying words to me. I ran out of the building, tears stinging my eyes. I would have run longer had a fireman not grabbed me and given me to the EMTs for medical treatment.
It was only three weeks ago that I returned home, alone for the first time in my life. I didn't know what to do with myself so I immediately started up my duties as queen. It was my way of escaping from the pain I felt. If I didn't have something to devote myself to full heartily I would have probably lost my mind. And there was always Kit, standing by my side. He was always there supporting me, even if he didn't know I was leaning on him.
There has to be a better way of living.