Part 20

            //Angel, you once heard my call.  I didn’t ask for much.  A single life, just one.  But my angel did, you not

            hear my cry?  Retribution!  Where is the purpose?  What about the almighty plan?  I don’t see how saving

            that one life could upset that divine prophecy.  Why angel?  Give me the answer I seek!  For you did not

            answer my only request!//

I don’t remember how I made it back to my room.  I’m not alone.  I turn to see Lu lying on the bed next to me.  Her eyes are puffy from crying, but her breath is even indicating that she has fallen asleep.  I had hoped that when I woke up that I would realize that it was only a dream.  I would sit up in bed and look over and there he would be.  But he’s not.  The nightmare is real.

I sit up in the bed trying not to disturb Lu, she seems to need the rest.  Carefully, I shift myself off the bed and leave the room.  My body runs on autopilot.  I couldn’t have changed my course even if I had been aware of what I was doing.  Feeling as though I only moved a couple of steps, I enter my sanctuary, the only place where I find comfort.  I climb up to the catwalk and walk over to the first mobile suit I had ever piloted.  Opening the hatch I crawl into the belly of the machine.  I sit in the pilot’s seat and grip the arm rests.  I can’t stop the tears that come.  The grief that I have been feeling overcomes all my senses to the extent that I don’t notice the presence that enters the small cockpit and kneels in front of me.  I can barely perceive the arms that encircle me, the head that rests under my chin.  I can’t even find the energy to return the gesture.

She picks her head off my chest and stares into my eyes.  She does something that I would allow no one else to do.

She removes my mask.

“Zechs, I can’t even think of a word to say to comfort you.  You are the best friend that I have ever had and now you are here hurting and there is nothing I can do to help.  I have never felt more worthless in my life.”  She wipes a tear that falls down my face.  “You were the world to Jeremy and I know that he would have wanted you to move on.  We both know that what happened shouldn’t have happened.  Those missiles should have never been fired.”  She slams her fist onto the console in frustration.  “I don’t know what was going through his mind when he deployed them.  He took something precious from you that can never be replaced.”  Her head drops back to my chest. “Unforgivable”.

My strength finally builds enough to embrace Lu back.  I wish to stay in this position for eternity.  What will happen to me if I loose something else that I hold precious to the stream of time that plaques my life?