You pay 6 bucks for cigarettes that match your outfit
You like to play dead in public
You wake up still drunk at 3 in the afternoon with anonymous black lipstick on your face
The shade of powder you wear is called "Sheet Of Paper"
The Count was your favorite Sesame Street character as a child
You wear long, velvet coats in the middle of summer
You go to Denny's at 5 in the morning and think, "These are my people"
You think dead flowers are prettier than live ones
You refer to your age in mortal years
You buy $15 fishnets and rip them on purpose
Your combat boots cost more than it takes to feed a third world child for two years
You've willingly undergone cosmetic dental surgery
You own 16 or more Cleopatra c.d.'s
You own even 1 Projekt c.d.
You can't decide whether Morticia Addams or Lily Munster is prettier, then decide Wednesday blows them both away
You were disappointed to find out that "American Gothic" is a portrait of two farmers
You think of the hearse as a "family car"
You own a glow-in-the-dark rosary that alternates between your neck and the rearview mirror in your car
You fashion your eyeliner after a culture that's been dead over 2000years
You have seen "Nightmare before Christmas" more than seven times
Your purse is large, square and metal
You argue on whether Poppy Z. Brite or Anne Rice has the more realistic view on vampires
You and your friends take lengthy drives to visit non-local graveyards
You spell Vampire either Vampyre or Vamphyre
Your boyfriend complains that his ribs just don't stick out the way they used to
Your girlfriend complains that you look better in her black, velvet skirt than she does
You refer to others as "The Normals"
You are happy when no one has ever heard of your favorite band
Christians accost you with pamphlets on the street frequently
You accost Christians with pamphlets on the street
You and your boyfriend fight over who gets to wear the fangs
This list made you depressed
Credit to whomever wrote You Might be a Goth if...
