My Daddy...
He's somewhere in heaven.
This is my page about my daddy. I love him and I miss him very much. For all of you who don't know, my dad was killed july 28, 1998. He was in a car crash. I will never forget the phone call from my step-mom.
I am making this page because, I guess, it's kinda my way of remembering my daddy, and dealing with him not being around anymore. He was the best! He was so funny, but he could be serious too. He always made time for me and took me snowboarding and skiing and stuff like that. I miss the way he used to know so much. I hope my future husband will be as good with our kids as my dad was with his.
do you ever wonder why we are all here?
well this is how i look at it.
i think maybe we are all like little action figures to god. we have are own action figure planet, and little action figure houses, and little action figure stores, and little action figure schools. he plays with us in a nice way usually. but sometimes when he gets bored, he throws us off cliffs. or he might choose to crash our little action figure planes.
or maybe we are just bugs to him! and when he gets sick of us, he calls the exterminator. that's why some places get bombed, like the world trade center and oklahoma city . god was bored.
**sorry**
well, i don't mean to speak poorly of god, but he has given me a pretty confusing life. recently he decieded that he was sick of my dad. i don't know why. my dad was the greatest guy! he was the best dad! i guess god just got sick of him. god decieded to have my dad's body flung off his motorcycle in to a tree at full speed. my dad was't a long-haired, crusty motorcycle jerk. he was a succesfull business man. he wasn't a dead-beat dad. he was always there for me. i guess my daddy wasn't good enough for god.
well, i used to think that until my sweet boyfriend told me that it's not like that. josh told me that he understands that it's hard for me not to be mad at the world. he said that it was just my dad's time to go, not that god was sick of him. he said that i should remember what was most important about my dad. i really admire josh. i really want him to be in my future.
**i miss my daddy**
i miss the way my dad used to give me a big daddy-bear hugs when i was feeling sad, and the way he always made time for me. we always went on long bike trails. we went for walks by the river.
i remember one night i wanted to camp out on our driveway. the reason i wanted to was to sneak out and go see my friends, but the reason i said i wanted to was to look at the stars, or something cheesy like that. so my dad and step-mom let my brothers and me camp out. my "big" little brother, trevor, and i were planning on sneaking out, but then he chickened out and left me all by myself. i told him that he better not tell, and he said he wouldn't. the next day he told on me. i got in trouble, and i remember my dad grounding me (which meant that i couldn't go farther than our yard, but i could have all my friends over) for a while, but then he gave up after a day and a half, and just let me go. i remember he joked with me about what i had done the whole time i was grounded.
i miss the way he made all my friends jealous. he was the coolest dad! he was into everything that us kids were into. getting him a cd was easy! all i did was pick out one that i wanted to get, and then gave it to him. he was so cool.
**my goal**
it was always hard for me to figure out, but he never fought with my step-mom. of course they would have the occasional disagreement, but it never seemed like they felt like they had to raise their voices to get their way. they always compromised, even if they didn't agree at all. that's what i want. i want the kind of love that my step-mom and my daddy had. they knew that they wanted to be with each other forever. they loved each other very much. so much it's hard to even think about it, what lissa and my dad had, and now what she's missing out on. that's all i want when i grow up, the kind of love that they had.
**things are getting better**
now things are getting better. i have a great boyfriend, i have almost everything i want. almost. i wish i could have my dad back. but i know i can't. i'm having a hard time right now with the loss of my dad. it's almost been the one year mark since he was killed. but thanks to my great, understanding boyfriend and my friends who are always there for me, i know i'll get through this hard time.
*updates*
well it is now may 2000. i am doing great! i have the best b/f ever! and the bestest friends!!! i love them all! and i have asked god back into my life, although it is tough. i no longer belive that bad things are his fault. they aren't my fault or your fault. they just happen. and when they do, turn to god... i would have made a retraction er? i dunno, taken that terrible stuff that i said about god off this page, but i'm thinking maybe it will help someone. they will see that i felt like they did, and i made it back to god. i feel so bad for saying that stuff, but i felt really angry at the time, even though it wasn't at god, it was more just at the fact a big part of my life was ripped away. and i know now that that isn't anyones fault, especially not god's. he is the one who cares the most.