Lex Luger: I'm not an athlete...
Roddy Piper: ....you're right.
Eric Bischoff: I'm 5 foot 9, 98 pounds...
Konnan: I won Taco Bell's Employee of the Month, 3 years in a row...
Hulk Hogan: I was a National champion at making horrible movies...
Roddy Piper: My jersey was retired at the old folks' home...
Lex Luger: When you step through these ropes bad angles do happen...
Rick Rude: Cashed over 200 insurance checks...
Hulk Hogan: Suffered a dozen heart attacks...
Roddy Piper: Damn near broke my false hip...
Dusty Rhodes: A blown out light bulb in my fridge...
Larry Zbyszko: I fell and I couldn't get up...
Lex Luger: This is who I am...
Eric Bischoff: This is what I do ::kisses Hogan's butt::
Roddy Piper: I'm not an athlete?
The Disciple: This isn't my real face....
Hulk Hogan: Try using my Ben-Gay
WCW Attitude Parody II
Roddy Piper: I've been thinking.Hulk Hogan: I'm not a wrestler.
Curt Hennig: Me neither.
British Bulldog: I used to live in a dog pound.
Macho Man: I had hair, three years in a row.
Hulk Hogan: I should've retired, many years ago.
Jim Neidhart: I was the Ultimate farting champion.
Roddy Piper: When you kiss my ass, bad things do happen.
Jake Roberts: Had over 2 billion vodka's.
Jim Neidhart: Suffered a million fart attacks.
Eric Bischoff: Damn near broke a fingernail,
Jim Neidhart: I farted and Bischoff blew away.
Eric Bischoff: But I still didn't cry.
Hulk Hogan: I'm not really an athlete.
Bobby Heenan: This is for real.
Jim Duggan: I can't lace my boots.