There are many different ways we could tell the story of what happened to Alicia, but only her own words can truly clarify how it really feels to have cancer. So, here's Alicia's story of her life for the past three years.

An illness may be a sensitive subject, especially when that illness turns out to be cancer. There are many different cancers - lymphoma and leukemia are some familiar kinds. The cancer I’m most familiar with is brain cancer. It has been my struggle for the last three years. I was diagnosed April 12, 1996 at the age of eleven. This report will discuss what it is like to live the life of a cancer patient.

The first sign of something wrong was a nauseous feeling that led to throwing up. Some diagnosis were ulcers and stomach cramps. Finally, the pediatrician who was standing in for my doctor send me to Dr. Nagpaul, a famous stomach doctor. He was so busy, we waited seven hours in his waiting room. At this point, I was so nervous thinking it was serious, like a big ulcer. Being eleven doesn’t give you an adult imagination. Cancer didn’t even occur to me. Finally, it was our turn to go in. Dr. Nagpaul wanted me to try some exercises. I had to walk up and down the room. He looked into my eyes and noticed that they shook and were off level. The doctor asked about school and I told him my grades were dropping from A’s to C’s and D’s. I felt I was loosing my memory. Turning to my mom, Dr. Nagpaul told her he wanted me to go to the hospital right away for an MRI. My mom asked the doctor about this because she thought it was just stomach ailments. The doctor responded that he thought it was pressure on the brain. Later that evening, I was in a hospital room. The MRI was going to take place the next day. The nurse came in and gave me some medicine to help me relax. I was very scared.

After the MRI, the nurse told me it was going to be a few days before the test results. I had to wait it out in the hospital. My family came to visit and offered a lot of support. April 12th was the day the doctor came into my room. He asked my mom to come into a different room where there were more doctors waiting. The news: I had a brain tumor that was cutting off the brain ventricle which was causing brain pressure. Furthermore, they were going to see if they could take the tumor out by operating.

Mom came into my room and told me the news. My first reaction was “I am going to die.” I cried a lot with my family that night. Having no time to get used to the idea, the next day I was wheeled into the operating room. It was a scary place with tools all over. Thankfully, a doctor stuck a needle in my arm and I was out. After the operation, I woke up and felt woozy. That didn’t bother me as much as seeing my new hair style - bald. I was not prepared for this. My brother, Dondi, didn’t want me to feel bad so he cut his hair also. We were now both bald. My hospital consisted of parties. My family and friends came and lifted up my spirits.

The results from the operation were not good. I had a rare tumor which started at the top of the cerebellum and traveled down to the brain stem. They couldn't get it all out because it was so close to the brain. I needed to have a craniotomy - a shunt put in my head to carry the fluid down to my stomach. It ended up being about two weeks until the second operation. The day arrived. The whole operation took 17 hours. My body was so sore, I felt there was a big pogo stick inside of me. I couldn’t bend. I had to recuperate for two more weeks in the hospital. My nickname in the hospital was Sinead O’Connor. Before going home, I was given a special hat to wear to protect my scars.

My hair just started to grow in when I started radiation. I had to have radiation for six weeks, five days a week. During radiation you wear a special mask made out of wax and molded to your face. I wore the mask which was then bolted down to the table. Marks are put on the mold so the radiologist can focus the rays on them. Radiation lights shot out and stayed on those spots for 20 minutes. As you can see my hair never grew back from that radiation treatment. I looked so goofy, peach fuzz on top and no hair on the sides. Once I started getting picked on about having no hair, I started to wear wigs. I also had to be put on steroids. This is the worst because your body becomes addicted to it. I bloated out when they try taking you off of it because it makes you more sick.

Following radiation the doctor said I needed chemo. Chemo is a medicine that fights cancer. It takes your strength away and attacks good cells. The downside is very toxic. You throw up a lot and get very weak. Blood transfusions are very common so you can get platelets and hemoglobin. A portacat, which is a needle, is stuck in your chest and the chemo is pumped in. As the chemo makes its way into your body, you can feel yourself getting weaker and more faint. I was injected with chemo every day for about 10 minutes. Every other weekend I would have 6 hour treatments. The first night of chemo I was happy because I noticed my hair was growing back from the operation. When I woke up the next day, I noticed hair all over my pillow. I broke down and cried. Mom came in and said we will get through this and anyway it is summertime and I would have free air conditioning.

I remember the day I decided to get a wig. I was walking down the street and a couple kids started making fun of me. After this, my mom and I spent two hours looking at wigs.

My chemo treatments lasted 1 and a half years. The doctors said the tumor had shrunk a little bit. This meant it was not active. I was 12 and a half years old and thought I was in remission. The problem which I found out later was that they never looked at my spine. I came in every month to get my shunt flushed.

Christmas of 1999, I started throwing up every day. At first, I thought I had the flu. My mom brought me to Children’s Memorial Hospital. The doctors gave me a spinal MRI. They found the tumor had grown down my spine. I am now in an oral chemo program. It is different from the regular chemo in that it doesn’t make me as sick; I won’t lose my hair, and I will not need to have platelets.