At East Farms

     Verbs live here. So does _________. I could go away here. They lose me not enough. Once I knew ________. But now no. Phillipines nurse in L.A. Gave me 94%. I will go to the Phillipines too, General. "I think of her often and always." We do not wish to speak of it. We wish to take much Vollmann and Dostoevsky. Too many webmistresses, that's a large part of the problem. I will go to the Phillipines via East Farm general.
     There is way way way too much concern about beauty and wealth and not a bit of decency comes of it. Is that it, maybe, that she was a nurse, you liked that she was a nurse? That explains too why she gave you the money, instead of the reverse for once. Evelyn gave me her name as Evelina M. Salut. I would walk forever to find her if someone would give me the direction to start out in. I will go to the Phillipines. We met in L.A. Our first date was in to the Tar Pits in the Green Jaguar2 -- not the GR.Mk 1B -- at that time I could not afford a Gulf War fighter bomber. She had spent time in the middle east. Was it Saudi Arabia? I would walk through the desert like that lunatic British officer in The Flight of the Phoenix to find her and beg her to be my wife forever. You should take notes, someday you might bump into Evelina M. Salut, somewhere, how do I know; and it could precipitate a coup d'etat if you could recall and show and tell for the fifth column. We never kissed. Clearly she was a lady, but I am way way way too stupid to see these things in time. I wind up with _______ mostly. I hope you do better; I wish you other guys well. Well, not with EMS. That's no good see? Reference is not to her as "that", rather to it as that. I need Charles Bukowski to sit me down and shake me up. He passed-on a while ago. That shook me up. So, there it is.
     I feel badly for people in love. But what can I do? I can go to the Phillipines to make a World Class point like the General. Not Eisenhower -- no -- but still, the General nevertheless; he doesn't need my ... validation; line from Terms of Endearment -- I understand, well excuse me but see I'm writing this so permise. Once in NYC all night hispanic secret bar I asked the cocaine thief what word to use in the tiny cocaine mens room so I wouldn't get shot for Being There. "Permise." I know how to say it I can tell you -- I never said I knew how to spell. Finding that bar again would be 1/100,000th the strategic and implementation difficulty of finding Evelyn again. Still I will go to the Phillipines. Well, consider...I owe her money then, if you're uncomfortable with a groanman talking about loooove. [Oh(!) -- say, is it that you're the one, (it would appear), perhaps, permise, who's...]
     Things will get easier when I get my next Jaguar GR.Mk 1B. Cover more ground and faster decisions, and just general tonic too. djinn too. Bukowski too. Just overall McCarthy. MacArthur. Permise. pear-MEES-eh. Roll the r: save your life. Over the last 15 years I have noticed certain women make a big cutesie deal out of pronouncing "r" in a way even I [even I -- the (other) Great One**] can't figure out how to describe. It sounds high class kinda; but I don't know -- repeated repeated repeated thought experiments later -- how, or what it is. I can hear it though. Oh(!), yeah, I can hear it; I just can't feret (a small semidomesticated polecat) it out. Yeauh...something like a sound a ferret might make if you held it and fed it things it liked. **...Jackie Gleason, not General MacArthur. Both Great -- just really excellent; however: it is a GOOD thing we did not mix their job descriptions up. No offense all around. Evelina M. Salut, during the time we...during the time...at that time, she did not have the "r". I missed it not at all. Will someone please tell me about that "r" though? Or am I the only one who's noticed it, for 15 years? What does it mean? Something about personal hygiene I presume. I think My Evelina was pristine without any rolling at all. Yes, of course, she's probably married to someone else now; any fool can figure that out -- go torment someone who still cares about things. I am Joan Didion driving L.A. freeways in Play It As It Lays -- only in my case I prefer the GR.Mk 1B to a Corvette. Personal. Joan could probably help out here quite a bit -- oh in many ways, yes, I recon-eyes that. Thank you though, thank you for helping; people don't help each other nearly nearly nearly enough. Sometimes I daydream, in the Jaguar, that I can go back in time in it and "take out" 1940 Beer-Tex-Garr-Ten. It isn't recommended as daydreams go, really. But it would be __________. In the mens room again. Permise. Oh, maybe not my shot to take? Not my time, easy enough to say now, cowardly jerque & goof-off; what points are you giving yourself here? And, I've no doubt you are 100% correct, General. 100%. ...I prefer Eisenhower to you, sir; he never questioned a man's motives, and he did take the shot with the most excellent weapon ever assembled. Nevertheless... __________. Yes, I know, it is not allowed for me to say these things. Don't worry, nobody is listening; they would though if I could roll better. Not my "r"s -- the Jag; I'm a slow roll fighter-bomber pilot -- I need a good instructress to help me with my rolls. Time machine also, or perhaps a sense of timing. One.
     I just went into the mens room. My own I mean. Lots of thoughts about Joan Didion in there, in my mind, thoughts about Joan. Plumbing issues in there too. In Play It As It Lays. I was thinking, also, about how I used to walk home late at night, down Broadway, after seeing the painting of Eisenhower up around 116th street, in the library there -- fund-raising; yuh other library, across the -- Quad? Still, I thought about it. ...Painter roommate at 104th street. ...Weird comment for him to make; I had to leave. I left.
     I'm going to try to think less about my problems and more about yours. Oh, I know, I'm not the noble type, but I think I had better try anyway. It would be better than an asylum in Queens. But the deal is, I'm not willing to give up on the Evelina problem. I'm going to keep that as my one allowed problem. But you get all the rest of my time and effort and ____________. As near as I can figure it, this is real and true and well-timed now, so... Well go ask Norman Mailer! I don't have any idea HOW? Ask him, I know he must have ideas HOW. See, N.B.: this is not my allowed problem as of the most recent coup d'etat. You're way out of line. Anyway, I can be reached in East Farms, CT, starting as soon as I can get there, and leave for the Phillipines. I'll make two homes then. Home #1. Home #2. Well no, honey, it isn't a problem if you've been reading anything per the above at a speed worthy of your comprehension. There is no runway problem -- recall: I have only one problem now; and the fighter bomber requires surprisingly little RWLNGTH. Restricted something-or-others are no longer...well, permise, I'm a helper, give me a break. No, your child is not going to get hurt playing with my jet, Hockey Mom. Because I lock it up. Follow?