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Call me picky (it wouldn’t be a first), but I wish romance novel publishers would use cover art that matches authors’ descriptions of characters. For goodness’ sake if the author raves about a hairy chest, don’t show us bodybuilder slick. And if she’s told us how disreputable he looks, don’t feature a yuppie on the cover. Inaccuracy can be annoying. A long time ago, I wrote to either Harlequin or Silhouette and made this suggestion, but contrary to their polite reply, I think I’ve been ignored.
Here’s an idea. A garage built along the lines of a giant dishwasher. Imagine this. As you go into the house and push the button to close the garage door, you push another button to start the wash cycle. During which soapy water will spray from the ceiling, walls, and floor to rid your car of all the grunge and salt. And if you have the deluxe model, sponge doodgies slide out of the walls to swoosh against your car. Then the rinse cycle of clear water, followed by a blast from the heat blower. Of course, Cascade would probably need to distribute their product in larger containers. Where on earth does all the snot come from when you have a cold??? I’m telling you, there is an organ not shown on anatomy charts. “Snot Reservoir”. Anyway, I'd rather believe that than believe I have a hollow leg filled with snot. Ahhh, Christmas. The time of year my sister hates to have me as a passenger. Apparently preventing me leaping from the car to pound on people's doors and berate them for totally tasteless displays of Christmas lights tires her. I waffle about whether or not lights now being inexpensive enough for everyone to buy is a good thing. Don't get me wrong; I love Christmas lights. One of my best childhood Christmas memories is of our family driving through a wealthy neighborhood here in town to see the light displays. And now, so many great things are done everywhere. The simple elegance of a gnarled tree encrusted with clear lights; an enchanting fairyland dripping with multi-colored lights; the whimsy of a large John Deere tractor draped with lights. It's great. I itch to give awards. But then. The other side of the coin. The places that make you blink in astonishment. Where consistently using the same type of lights, consistently using the same color, or having some plan evidently hasn't occurred to them. Rather, "Look, ma, it lights up" seems to be the sole prerequisite for making it into the yard. ::chanting:: "It's the spirit that counts...It's the spirit that counts." This mantra comes nowhere close to working for large, lighted, plastic objects though. More of those little signs of age:
Good grief. Why can't employers give a salary range in their job ads? Why play these little games, pretending the wages aren't a vital concern to most of us. Slap the numbers on there and save everyone time! Since it’s apparently impossible for any piece of electrical equipment to be designed nowadays without the manufacturer feeling an irrepressible urge to put a clock on it, I wish someone would invent a device to synchronize the times on all the blasted things. On my desk alone, I have three different digital times staring at me. I wish I knew if I'll need a cane when I get old. The Smithsonian catalog has the neatest cloisonné cane. It would make me a very stylish old lady. But a little expensive for the off-chance. A letter I sent to my congressman and senators, with a copy to the president: If I understand correctly, the Senate and House of Representatives are there to represent the people of the United States. That being the case, I would suggest this asinine idea of conferring citizenship on the Cuban boy be abandoned immediately, as everyone I have talked to about the subject thinks the boy should be returned to his father. That our government should even consider such an action leaves me almost speechless. In my opinion, for our country to decide to keep a child from his parent oversteps our authority by a great deal. I would also suggest that not only does this reinforce the image of the United States as a bully, but also sets a precedent whereby any minor of U.S. citizenship is at risk if ever in the custody of authorities in countries with interests adverse to ours. They just may decide the child should not be returned to a country of infidels. |
