ShADeS oF GrEy
Here recently I have become very introspective. Trying to figure out what it is exactly that I believe or don't believe in. What is god really? I ask not who...but what. The question sounds better that way to me. Maybe because I am not so sure I believe or can even comprehend the existance of such an omnipotent entity. My logical mind looks for proof....but there is never any to be found. Organized religion so full of hypocrisy and more of a sign of social acceptance anymore then of faith. Collecting money because apparently we need bigger stained glass windows to increase our faith or the pastors/priests/etc. Lexus needs a new set of snow tires. And then there are those who join the church council because it will look good on their resume' or if they ever run for political office. Hypocrisy and greed....we should call religion what it really is. But we all WANT to believe don't we? Deep inside we somehow need something to cling to when hopelessness lingers.....or when your favorite team is in the playoffs. You know I actually saw an interview with a Notre Dame football fan after their current win over Purdue......she actually said "God must have been with us today....we were all praying up in the stands for a miracle". Like if there IS a god he would stop saving lives and repenting wayward 'sinners' just to help some gangly pimple headed 'only got into this school because I can throw a ball really good' teenager make a touchdown. Just possibly god is nothing more then an early rendition of a folk tale, just something people made up long ago so as to believe that even the most horrible of atrocities have a purpose and that somehow they needed JUSTIFICATION or somewhere to point fingers and/or someone to hide behind when they themselves had 'sinned'...a crutch for impure thoughts or deeds. The whole Idea of being forgiven ....and communtion makes me sick. First....if there IS a god, then repentance should be a private thing....not part of some ritualistic pomp and circumstance. If god DOES exist then HE ALONE should be the one to release us from our transgressions....not any mortal man even if he has the so called 'blessing' of the church. But this again confuses me. How can we forgive, as the church does, some of the most hateful atrocious crimes just because we are asked to? If someone killed your child, or parent, or lover how can just that person saying "forgive for I have sinned" be enough to clense them of their deed? But now I guess we get into what the bible says.....God is merciful and forgiving...love thy neighbor as thyself....do unto other as you would have done unto you. But what is the bible really? People seem to forget how long ago it was written and how many many times it was rewritten. Do you not think it possible that some things have gotten lost in translation or that imperfect greedy men has changed it over time to relfect what THEY think people should believe? Look at all the renditions......Old Testement...New Testiment....King James Version... evey single religion has their own version of the bible and NONE of them match exactly. Then we get into what the bible tells us is right and wrong in gods eyes. It says homosexuality is wrong but yet also tells us we should slaughter a lamb on the sabbath. Many views and ideas have changed since the bible was written. We could go into many idiosyncrasies.....such as the bible stating how we must never worship idols or symbols, but yet...what is the american flag? What is the very cross itself? What about the fact that Christmas itself is suppose to be the celebration of the birth of Christ but yet the bible tell us that Jesus said to only worsihp his DEATH for that is what supposedly freed us of our sins. So many discrepancies and gray areas and I cannot put my faith in and base my life around these ideals. Don't get me wrong, I truely WANT to believe. I want something I can hold onto and something that I know can protect me if I have faith. But too much of it is so transparent to me. Like near death experiences....I do believe in these as there are many actually accounts to back them up. But the whole thing with 'seeing god'.....I'm not sure if I buy into that. It's like when something has been weighing heavily on your mind all day and you go to bed thinking upon it. There is a very good chance that you will dream about that very subject, right? So....when people are dying they tend to look to their belief of god and afterlife.....and possibly.....that is why they see the things they do when they are at deaths door. A subliminal suggestion to our subconscious and nothing more. Guess I believe more that peace is found within ourselves and that only then can we see more clearly, act more effectively, cooperating with the energies within and around us to build a more peacful world. But this is only my opinion......you are entitled to yours :)
He sewed his eyes shut because he is afraid to see
He tries to tell me what I put inside of me
He's got the answers to ease my curiosity
He dreamed a god up and called it christianity
Your god is dead and no one cares
If there is a hell I will see you there
He flexed his muscles to keep his flock of sheep in line
He made a virus that would kill off all the swine
His perfect kingdom of killing, suffering and pain
Demands devotion atrocities done in his name
Your god is dead and no one cares
Drowning in his own hypocrisy
And if there is a hell I will see you there
Burning with your god in humility
Would you die for this?
