SOULESS POETRY
This is a selection of poetry that reflects the pain and emptiness we all feel at times. If you are able relate to any of these just remember that it is most likely only temporary and try to keep faith in yourself and stay stong. I wish you all luck in the sometimes tiresome journey of life............
Tonight my eyes carry the same
empty gaze that they've
known from many times
before...
Since the eyes are the
window to the soul,
My soul feels a certain emptiness
As i lie alone in the darkness
Gazing into what is unseen...
I feel no need to blink
Because even though i peer outward,
i see nothing,
As my mind is off somewhere
Pondering certain other subjects...
Through eyes as empty as glass,
The fire within my heart extinguishes
Slowly...
Or had it died long ago?
Recollection escapes me as i have long felt
the emptiness within...
Cold wind blows,
But something else makes me numb
to the chill...
A collector of memories am i,
Yet the memories fade away
Through my empty eyes...
Desire leaves me,
Just as my soul escapes through
Two open windows...
And i am left alone once again,
As a shell of my former self....
Praise to the emptiness that blanks out existence.
Existence...this place made from our love for that emptiness!
Yet somehow comes emptiness,
this existence goes.
Praise to that happening, over and over!
For years I pulled my own existence out of emptiness.
Then one swoop, one swing of the arm,
that work is over.
Free of who I was, free of presence, free of dangerous fear, hope,
free of mountainous wanting.
The here-and-now mountain is a tiny piece of a piece of straw
blown off into emptiness.
These words I'm saying so much begin to lose meaning:
Existence, emptiness, mountain, straw:
The eyes. They were the first, Their cool blue fire;
The subtle blaze of his hair Slowly dancing a playful song.
They were the first. To remind me of the emptiness
Which I had hidden beyond dark doors
Behind dark thoughts Ever buried in my mind.
Now that emptiness is filled with pain
Like a wound that will not heal
And hurts more at the knowledge That it doesn’t have to be.
But you are probably not so afflicted.
How can we share a wound Struck by each others blades
The broken glass from the windows between our souls
I wonder what you saw. in that brief communication
Which breaches the barrier which words
Perhaps you could not hear; For my heart is well hidden
Behind the shadows of strength. Which others would covet
And which your eyes make me despise.
I never knew that I could still be wakened
By the light which shines from you
Which I could not earn.
I couldn’t believe It could happen, But I suppose it has not
For what purpose does it serve If I was the only one to hear.
Then only I can feel the loss I am the only one to miss the song.
Our souls might have made together
Look into my eyes
Tell me what you see.
A bottemless pit-
An endless well of belief.
A twinkle, a sparkle-
Life dancing, full of excitement.
Daggers stabbing the soul-
Jealous twinge and hateful stare.
Emptiness, reflections back-
Dead to reality, lost in thought.
Windows to my soul-
To my feelings, to my mind.
Look into my eyes-
Tell me what do you see?
I yearn for the taste of the sweetness
Of your blood upon my lips,
I yearn for your company of silence,
The silence of two hearts in love,
I yearn for your beauty, of that of a
Wild flower growing tall on the hilltops,
I cherished the love that we once shared...
As the days become shorter and the nights Longer,
The love that we shared becomes
Still and the blood becomes bitter,
And we have nothing left..
But the Emptiness in our souls
As I see a smile through discomfort and rage
I can find hope under anguish and pain
I can find solstice in fear and hate
But hunger rises through want and wait
A consuming soul found in text and prose
It feeds on emptiness, the lonely exposed
Truth explained breeds distance secured
Speech explored negates intentions of cheer
Hearts blacken with length of time
Souls wither in response to grime
Within valley of the shadow of death
I feel an evil grabbing for my chest
Imagination throwing curves misplaced
Retaliation unsure, repressed
A mind that holds dear to itself
Should not lose sight of what's on the shelf
Rotten hopes and withered dreams
Should cause a change not split old seams
With hope renewed from restored complacence
A wish of replenishment for loves creation
The knowledge of past causes innate repression
The sight of future opens unto persuasion
I tried to grab the sun
And I guess it was through no fault of my own,
When you see something that awe inspiring,
That unimaginiable, that beautiful
You try and touch it.
I tried to grab the sun the other day
It blinded my eyes
Made deaf my ears
Muted my lips
And burned my hands
I tried to touch the sun the other day
And as beautiful as it was,
I tried to hide it away
kept from the eyes of man for my own
I tried to keep the sun today
And the sun no longer shines for me
The gods have punished
And I have suffered
And stared into eternal night...
~James Mullen~
Few words comfort me
Whispers in my ear, booming echos at night
Silence
Darkness at noon, as the shadow covers
The sun disappears forever
Anger and hatred live in my soul
Intertwined endlessly
Through each fiber of me, tangled
Despair at the future
Hopeless days turn into
Helpless nights of loneliness
And he is good to me
And he listens
And he stays
In his eyes I see the love
And also the confusion
Trying to save the one he loves
Quietly walkin through the day
The darkness is destroying my only love needlessly
Songs that creep from the walls
Broken CD's that carry them to my heart
Searching desperately, for some semblence of life
Of happiness once held together
Tears stain his cheek, yet he claims to be alright
Shielding my fragile mind from pain
Love so deep in my heart, lost amongst the pain
Trying to come back to him
Carry me away my love
Take me in your arms and comfort my darkest fears
Understand this emptiness, that has taken over my soul
that tortures my mind relentlessly
Patience, that you have always had
So important in this moment
Please stay by my side forever
smile for me,
oh gentle rose,
I lay my head upon your satin
breathing in what I may hope,
looking not into the eyes
of my retreater
but for grace
to use my warming tears
to grace the feathery skin
of this gentle rose
in the swirling comfort
of knowing I have known,
knowing I have felt love,
I find my hand reaching
pleading
gripping madly at the air
in hopes of grabbing onto something
with tearing thorns
to bleed away the pain
til I may again be filled
with something sweeter
hold me quietly,
oh gentle rose,
in this foggiest of presences
with my endless
blood and tears
dripping from the fragile petals
in silence
and in the faint, blue glow
that is blunt reality
and my unconscious wish
love for me
while I am now betrayed
by my own shaken heart,
the words residing wistfully
here just above my reach,
and stopping short
to sing
the most entrancing soliloquy,
to tear my heart
with curving thorns
and soothe the wounds
with blood-red petals
bathed already
in my silent tears
Everything's gone all wrong.
Nothing seems to feel right.
Where has all the sunlight gone?
Why didn't I put up a fight?
Nothing seems to be black or white,
only a dirty shade of grey.
Everything's changed, but nothing ever stays the same.
Everyone's gone, but no one ever came.
Why didn't I see,
all that was there.
Why did I try,
harder to care.
Things just don't feel right.
Things don't look the same.
Everything's changed.
Everything's grey.
When did the light of love burn out? And why
didn't I notice? Why did I turn a blind eye? How
did things get so out of focus. Should I be the
one appologizing? Or should I be packing my bags?
Would things be any different?
Everything's changed, but nothing ever stays the same.
Everyone's gone, but no one ever came.
Why didn't I see,
all that was there.
Why did I try,
harder to care.
Things just don't feel right.
Things don't look the same.
Everything's changed.
Everything's grey.
Some one said something, it really ment a lot.
Some one did something, but I've already forgot.
Could I be the reason, or am I the only clue?
Should I be the one who's crying, or am I already
through?
Everything's changed, but nothing ever stays the same.
Everyone's gone, but no one ever came.
Why didn't I see,
all that was there.
Why did I try,
harder to care.
Things just don't feel right.
Things don't look the same.
Everything's changed.
Everything's grey.
Everything's gone all wrong.
Nothing seems to feel right.
Where has all the sunlight gone?
Why didn't I put up a fight?
Nothing seems to be black or white,
only a dirty shade of grey.
I drive this blade through my flesh
small tears of blood for a wound that will never heal
as the heart screams your name
across the void of my empty soul
I vainly seek you in the folds of past memories,
in the breath of lost passions,
in the fire that rages across my soul,
sleepless and unquenchable
in these small tears of blood
shed in vain
~Vanth~
In the times of darkest despair
As i lay upon a broken cross
With a shroud of seething thorns
Of things i'd had and lost
And a crown of bleeding roses
Perched upon my weary head,
An angel appeared before me
And closed the wounds from which i bled...
Love soon grew between us
As we shared what lay in our hearts
And it seemed that nothing could come between us,
Nothing could tear us apart
But as with all life's pleasures
It seemed to come and go so fast
The experience of a lifetime,
But never meant to last...
But i thought back on a shared dream
Within the depths of a single night
When we dreamed a dream the same
Which felt so incredibly right
And back to a vision i'd had of the future
Of a marriage in happy bliss,
Two beautiful children
And you and i locked in an eternal kiss...
But just as fate had thrown us
So unyieldingly together
And seemed to whisper in the winds
Of souls sharing forever,
It so slowly tore us apart
With things our eyes couldn't see
And left us standing there:
Our old friend fear and you and me...
So you turned away from me
And swept me off to the side
Just some fading ashes
Of a love now denied.
So now i put you to bed
And i blow out the light
And close this final chapter
And drift off into the night...
I walked alone through soothing rain,
But still my tears clung to my face,
You left your mark upon my heart,
But still I force a smile.
You've given me a blood red rose,
To remember you when I'm alone,
But I've clung too tightly to the stem,
And been bloodied by it's thorns.
You do not know the wound is deep,
If you know I bleed at all,
But my blood is sweet with longing,
And love springs forth from it's source.
If you licked my wounds you would heal,
The one who writes these words,
But maybe longing is all I'll have,
Fleeting treasured company.
So open up that cage you hide,
Where passion dwells within,
Slowly, slowly, let it's wings unfurl,
And let it fly to me.
~None More Black~
Do all things go away, like a whisper in the wind,
that can only go so far, until it's blown apart again?
I remember better times, but, I really don't know when.
Even memories fade away, as my hopes begin to dim.
Do all things go away, as light escapes a star?
Adrift in our own space, in search of who we are.
It's life that drives us on, but pain that keeps us far,
apart from love that heals, and cools the burning scars.
Do all things go away? as you grow they disappear,
like rain into the ground, like the love we once held dear.
If I make it through today, will it last another year?
Will I find my way again, say the words you want to hear?
For months I dreaded the sunsets
and their memories of more pleasant ones shared together
because they only marked the passing
of another day without him.
And then I embraced the sunsets and their pain
claiming they marked the survival of another day without him
but found myself merely waiting for grief and time to end somehow.
Now as I sit beneath a cloudless sky
watching the long shadows of the mountains race across the land at sunset
I smile, somewhat feebly, at memories of more pleasant ones shared together,
mark another day passing in my life, instead of hours spent without him,
and want more time to become myself again,
to collect this shattered mess into something more than sorrow.
Sorry my love, but you were not all that I was.
Neither one of us arrived empty handed when we met,
and we both grew and gained before we had to part.
Many people contributed to the things inside me.
It's just that pain casts such poinancy into memories
that perspective is lost for so long a time.
And speaking to you without getting lost in the saddness is
still difficult.
At one point, you helped a shy and selfish young woman
care about more than herself as she learned to understand
what to love and to cherish means.
And in its practice, love brought us more than we had before
and made us more than we were by ourselves, alone.
So if you've eyes among those stars emerging from the darkening sky,
you'll see I carry parts of you forward with me.
I can't live out what might have been the rest of your life for you,
but as I live out the rest of my life for me,
your love, your life, and your spirit are here.
They are things I treasure and hold dear,
and I no longer have fear of their fading.
Your spirit was bright before it met mine and doesn't require me as its keeper.
I can only pass on what comes from the best of both of us.
Human nature being what it is, you'll have to pardon the times
I take more credit for myself than is due,
but when I give of myself and find joy in this life
I know in large part, the credit should go to you.
The things I've been and the things I miss are most certainly
part of what I've now become. And although after months,
there is still a bit of emptiness or hollowness to it all,
it is again, finally, somehow okay to be here and to take joy in just living.
