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Jim Hacker's critique of who read what newspaper
The Times is read by the people who run the country
The Daily Mirror is read by the people who think they run the country
The Guardian is read by the people who think they ought to run the country
The Morning Star is read by the people who think the country is ought to be run by another country
The Independent is read by the people who don't know who runs the country but are sure that they are doing it wrong
The Daily Mail is read by wives of the people who run the country
The Financial Times is read by the people who owns the country
The Daily Express is read by the people who think the country ought to be run as it used to be run
The Daily Telegraph is read by the people who still think it is their country
The Sun is read by the people who don't care who runs the country providing she has big tits
Civil Service's Five Standard Excuses
- The Anthony Blunt Excuse:
There is a perfectly satisfactory explanation for everything, but security prevents its disclosure.
- The Comprehensive Schools Excuse:
It's only gone wrong because of heavy cuts in staff and budget which have stretched supervisory resources beyond its limits
- The Concorde Excuse
It was a worthwhile experiment, now abandoned, but not before it provided much valuable data and considerable employment.
- The Munich Agreement Excuse
It occurred before certain important facts were known, and cannot happen again.
- The Charge Of the Light Brigade Excuse
It was an unfortunate lapse by an individual which has now been dealt with under internal disciplinary procedures.