but i've cuts on my knees.

burying eyes (burying lies?) stop frowning. stop holding your face in your hands. stop looking away. stop it. close your eyes. fade out again.

alone again. after exorcising the demons, i don't feel much better. but that's not a surprise, really. do i make this better by beating my hands into the wall? i turn you into something you are not. so i guess in the long run i wasn't right. does that mean i'm wrong? define this. define what we've done, what i did. describe what you see when you close your eyes. tell me what it's like to open them and know that i'm not there. you brought this. but i started it.

remind me not to do this again. remind me not to ask you for anything again. i don't want it from you. i don't want it at all. i live with a broken heart. i'm sorry i can't perform and be happy for you. i'm sorry i can't be what you want me to be. i'm not that way. i don't have pieces of preciousness floating around me for everyone to take and hold in the cup of your hand. you have to find me. but i guess you weren't in for that. i guess that wasn't what this is. what this was.

so there it is. and there it was. faith, you're driving me away. you do it everyday. you don't mean it but it hurts like HELL. my brain says i'm receiving pain.

did i ever look like the real thing?