OSSETT

Now Yorkshire's full of friendly folk
  Who greet each one they see
But in Ossett town they do not like
  Over-familiarity
Don't try to emulate their speech
  When you pass the time of day
For they'll take umbrage by the ton
  And this is what they'll say:
    Don't thee thou me thee thou thissen
    And see how tha likes thee thouing!

For Ossett folk think that they are
  A cut above the rest
Their streets and houses, parks and towers
  They think the very best
They scrub their steps and polish t'winders
  Till the panes do shine
I've even seen a bloke agate
  Black-leading a tram line.
    Don't thee thou me thee thou thissen
    And see how tha likes thee thouin!

Just how did Ossett get it's name?
  A poor boy with a frown
Asked his father for a bob
  To get the bus to town
"If it's too far for thee to walk
 Though thy mother might thee cosset
I'll tell thee lad, ger on thi bike
  Or else tha mun 'oss it!"
    Don't thee thou me thee thou thissen
    And see how tha likes thee thouin!

Twenty leagues from either coast
  At Yorkshire's furthest span
Guess what trade they there pursue -
  Fish-puddlers every man!
The market's 'void of cakes and pies
  There are no shoes or socks
You'll hear them say "I'm off to town
  To Ossett's fine fish docks"
    Don't thee thou me thee thou thissen
    And see how tha likes thee thouin!

In Yorkshire when we're ta'en aback
  Or shocked unto the core
We never say "Well I'll be blowed"
  Or "Knock me to the floor"
Until we come unto that bridge
  We never try to cross it
 These words just come out loud and clear:
  "Well I'll go to Ossett!"
    Don't thee thou me thee thou thissen
    And see how tha likes thee thouin!