Chapter 4
Taylor walked me home and we talked a lot. He was so interesting and interested in me. He seemed to want to know everything about me and he was intrigued somehow by my depressing life. If only he knew what really happened and all of the bad things I have done in the past. He probably wouldn’t be so intrigued then.
"Hopefully no one from the hospital called while I was gone," I said out of nowhere as we walked back to my house.
I looked up at the stars in the sky hoping to God that no one had called.
" Yeah," Taylor replied quietly.
I don’t think he knew what to say. I sensed some tension between him and Isaac back at the house. I’d have to explore further into that later on. In the meantime I just kinda stared at Taylor’s angelic features.
"You haven’t been gone that long though," he added reassuringly.
I nodded as we continued our way back to my house through the trees. I had a feeling I would be doing this a lot this summer. It was getting darker by the minute though. My thoughts were broken by Taylor’s masculine voice.
"How long do you think your mom will be in the hospital?" Taylor asked me.
"Probably a long time, but I’m not sure. I haven’t heard much of her condition," I told him. I knew it was all really my fault though. "I don’t think she wants me around."
Taylor’s eyebrows bunched up into a worried expression. For some reason I knew what was coming. The convincing speech.
"Listen, I seriously doubt it’s your fault, Janie!" He tried to convince me. "Cancer is inherited! My grandma had it and she died because of it, but none of us put her there. Don’t blame yourself."
"Taylor, it’s not just that, it’s . . ." I had to stop myself. I wanted to tell him the real reason for all of this mess. The fact that I’m the slayer. That’s what did it. Not just that she has cancer. She got so mad and her blood pressure went up and that was my fault. When she went in for that check up she found out she not only had high blood pressure but she has cancer too. If I hadn’t been out fighting vampires and listening to my mom, and if I hadn’t lied to her about it all, the truth would’ve been a lot easier for her to except. She wouldn’t have had to go get that check up. I know I couldn’t have prevented the cancer but I maybe could’ve prolonged it. I could’ve been nicer to her, but then again I didn’t know. I never know.
Taylor suddenly stopped us in our tracks.
"Well, tell me what it is then! Did you like kill someone or something?!" he exclaimed but still with softness in his voice. "How many times do I have to tell you that I want to listen to you? Do you want me to prove that I want to be your friend?"
He looked at me as if trying to read my thoughts. Killing. That word ran through my head at the sound of his voice proclaiming it. He didn’t know how close he was to hitting the nail on the head. But could I tell him? It was all over and I wanted it to be over so why couldn’t we just talk about him for a change? Why did he have to know EVERYTHING about me? So I decided to lie. Despite the fact that I didn’t like doing it, I had become pretty good at telling fibs in the past.
"Well," I couldn’t look him in the eyes now. "Um, I had some trouble at school and with some friends in the past. It was really bad."
I bit my lip. I told some of the truth, sort of. I hoped he would buy that because I was getting really tired of talking about me as much as I wanted him to know about my big secret. It just didn’t matter anymore. I looked at him and I could tell he needed more of an explanation. My short termed sentence and a half didn’t cut it. So I had to filter out the real version of my past life and tell him the bullshit of it.
"Back in Indiana, before I came here, at my school there were a lot of um gangs and stuff and last year my best friend was murdered," for some reason I had to fight back tears just to say that. I wasn’t really sad; it just struck a nerve I guess.
Taylor’s expression changed and he looked really sympathetic now.
"I’m sorry, but exactly what does that have to do with your mom?" he pushed.
"I was getting to that! See I was unable to save my best friend and well, I just decided to give up on life. I kinda did my own thing and didn’t care about what my mom thought. Basically I was a bad kid," and that was the bullshit of it. I couldn’t have left out anymore or it wouldn’t make any sense!
I know one day I might be able to tell him, but I don’t want anything to happen to him like what happened to Lisa or my mom.
Taylor didn’t say anything else as we approached my back door.
Suddenly the cramps started up again. Crap. This could only mean one of two things, and it wasn’t my time of the month. So it could only mean one thing.
Hurriedly I turned to Taylor as I stood in my back doorway.
"It’s getting late, Taylor, get back home ok?"
"I only live over there, Janie," he smiled at me curiously, "but anyway, um if you’re not busy tomorrow, do you wanna, uh, do something together?"
" Sure," I replied with a fake smile that meant I need to go. I didn’t want to push him away but I had to figure out what these cramps were about, they were killing me! "This time we’ll talk about you!"
"Okay," he kind of blushed backing up into the yard.
"Thanks, Taylor, goodnight."
"No problem. Goodnight, Janie."
He left and I shut the door quickly, the house becoming dead silent. First, I ran to the caller ID and looked for the phone number to the hospital. Luckily, no one had called and I let out a sigh of relief. But then I remembered the cramps and I held my stomach wanting to throw up. I ran to my room, and slammed the door shut behind me. Oh god make them stop! Go away! I opened my eyes and I stared into the blackness of my room realizing what was causing them. THEY had returned. Had they followed me though? Is that really it? Maybe I just had a bellyache. No, I hadn’t eaten anything all day, and I wasn’t supposed to "start" for another two weeks. It had to be it. There was only one way to tell now. I looked outside at the moon. When the moon was full and there were vampires around the cramps would be stronger than before because it meant that I had to get my body ready for them. Sure enough there was a full moon. Oh no! I couldn’t go back to being the slayer! I just couldn’t do that to my mom again! But what if they threaten humanity again? I’d have to do the job. I can’t just sit here and let them ruin my whole life! If this meant that they were here, then this time I would be ready. I just preyed that I was wrong though.