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My Weird Opinions

Tuesday July 21,l998 I have been test marketing this product called LIFE and I have a few complaints. For one thing, it is only half-used up and the packaging is already starting to bloat and lose efficiency. The instructions were unclear and there were way too many of them. It takes FAR too long to get this product up and running efficiently and WAY too much time and effort is needed to maintain the product; so much time, in fact, that there isn't any time left over for USE. There needs to be a 1-800 number for replacement parts, complaints and troubleshooting, too! The maker/manufacturer is virtually impossible to reach, and you NEVER get a response. I recieved this product as a gift, and I have to tell you,I wouldnt even buy it on the bargain rack!

May 18, l998 I went to the store to buy that new Excedrin Migraine medicine stuff that they are advertising. I read the back of the label and it had the exact same ingredients as the regular strength Excedrin! I asked the pharmicist and he said, yes, it was not a different formula, it was just different packaging. In my opinion this is a classic example of the gullibility of the American Public! Can you imagine spending five bucks for what you thought was going to be a migraine pill and getting plain old Excedrin in a fancy bottle? Well, I didn't buy the stuff! You are better off just drinking a strong cup of coffee, in my opinion.

May 16, l998 Everyone keeps talking about holes in space. I don't happen to believe in holes in space. How can there be a hole in space? Look at the air around you, that is our local equivalent of space. Do you see any holes in it? I personally live in a space with no holes. But according to Everyone, there are not only holes but Black Holes. And they are everywhere and they can PROVE it. Here is how they prove the existance of holes, black or otherwise, in my space and yours: 56xY+37=abc~(mc)X Allagaroo-XXYZ%=A That is their PROOF! Yes, that makes perfect sense to me! That really sums it up! Perfectly clear, now that they have explained it! What do you think?

May 15, l998 Everyone always likes to tell me that muscle weighs more than fat. Well, why would I want to build muscles, then? If a pound of muscle weighs 9 times more than a pound of fat, that means that just by lifting the laundry basket I could be in for a 5-10 pound weight gain. I think I am going to have to go lay down on the sofa and eat bon bons, it's the only way, in my opinion, to keep from getting TRULY OBESE.

May 12,l998 In My opinion I don't see what kind of punishment Ted Kazinsky is supposed to have gotten. This guy lived like a pig without hot water or clean clothes and ate bad food and had no heat. Now that he has life in prison he will have clean clothes all the time, clean sheets on his bed, he will have to take showers and be clean and he will get a balanced diet. That just doesnt seem like much of a punishment to me, more like a posh retirement plan. Also, how are they going to make him serve 4 consecutive life sentences? Last time I checked, we only got one life apiece. How are they going to enforce it? The guy has about 25 years of his life left and then he is OUTTA here! How are they going to retrieve him and say, 'Hang on Ted, your next three incarnations must be spent in JAIL!" It just isn't going to happen.

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