What Felicity Writers Want You to Think
by Alecia B. Hunter
aleciab@excite.com
May 16, 2001
"Mommy, It's Dark and Smelly Down Here at Camp Rock Bottom!"
The gate to the Grecian oracle at Delphi was inscribed with the warning: Gnothi Seauton or "Know Thyself." All those who entered to face the great oracle were confronted with their true selves. This was sometimes a frightening experience. (I'm guessing, since I haven't been there recently.)
The writers of the next-to-last episode of Felicity held a mirror up to each character and the reflections seen by each person were sometimes funny, heart-wrenching and always expected in a sort of unexpected way.
Elena was this mirror for DeForrest (hereafter Karaoke FunkMaster D). She looked inside herself and saw: No, I am not feeling pity for Karaoke Funkmaster D, I like him. She realizes the problem is his, and reflects that realization back to him. Funkmaster D looks inside himself (did he get lost in there?) and finds she is right. The oracle called Elena showed him his true nature, grasshopper. And they kissed and it was good. Well not that good cause with both their hair braided, it was hard to tell them apart during that kiss. Started to look like hot girl-on-big girl action. But this is a family show, folks. Move along, there's nothing to see here.
Wait, that's Richard's opening line. He chastises Noel for his thoughtless and reckless prank in front of Molly, then says to her "I'm sorry you had to see that." So that's Richard the Policeman. Then he's the funky music white-boy big pimpin' at the karaoke bar. DID YOU SEE THAT HAT? He's the total mack. And then Richard looked into his oracle one last time and found that yes, in fact, he is G-O-D (the heavens part and choirs of angels erupt into song). Richard said it himself when Noel hears he's off the hook for his stunt: "Thank God? No THANK ME!" Richard, the funky music white-boy policeman is actually creator of all things. Like Chaka Khan "He's every woman." Er...man, I mean. Well, geek I truly mean. Thus, this week's "Geeks are So Cool They Are in fact GODS" message comes from Richard. But I think the writers are a bit off their collective game: God never would have turned on an angel like Noel at all.
Meghan and Sean looked into the oracle/mirror and saw one another. Meghan had an eye-ring on in the witch-doctor's office because she was seeing all for the first time. She saw herself through Sean's eyes and vice-versa. The problem here was that they knew one another better than they knew themselves. The writers tell us, their loyal audience, look not to others for fault: look inside and know yourself and you will know truth.
WAIT, wait, w-a-i-t-a minute...where is this crap coming from? It sounds too much like self-help mumbo jumbo, airy fairy, butt-knocking bullshit. But then, Noel knows all about bullshit. In fact, he's responsible for the bathroom sanitation for the entire NYU campus. Where on Earth did the writers come up with THAT punishment? Look at it literally. Noel has hit bottom here. He "doesn't want to be the loser guy friend anymore." He's seen himself in all his loser glory (I can redeem you Noel, come to me...look deep into my eyes...you are getting very horny) and doesn't like what he sees. The fact that he starts wearing BROWN the rest of the show isn't lost on me. Brown is the color of crap. He's stocking toilets, he's IN THE MIRE. But it was there that he found his ROOTS. In the last scene, look at his shirt. Underneath his brown poopy-symbol shirt is one closer to his heart. His t-shirt reads ROOTS. True, its a band, true there's a nerdy Atari joystick also on the shirt (Pong anyone?). But these exemplify NOEL in all his glorificus magnificence. He should ride out proudly on his winged chariot to Nerd Nirvana (also known as Seattle).
And what's left for Felicity? She's the one wearing brown in her last scene. She's in the crapper. She's taken responsibility. She embraces the mommy role for Basketball Ben, Javier and Dean & Deluca once and for all. She doesn't look too thrilled with her choices and she screws up a bit. So (dramatic pause)...what are the writers getting at? What do they want us to think? What's the oracle have in store for Felicity? Noel tells her "You're on your own. I'm not going to be there for you." Call me sentimental but I ask you--do you think Felicity can see herself reflected in "it was only a kiss" Ben? The answer is no. The writers MUST agree because the show wasn't about Ben. We don't see him thinking, we don't even see him changing clothes like everyone else. He's not changing clothes, he's not changing his mind. He's what's called static. He does not know himself...he just likes to see himself reflected in Felicity's eyes. And why not? She makes him look better than the real thing. Harsh but true, ladies and germs.
Why am I so sure? Because I know myself. And I'm right. About this anyway. You'll see next week when my Jedi mind trick has revealed its power. Now if I can only get ahold of Noel's lightsaber, er..joystick..err..Never mind, just keep thinkin'.
What Felicity Writers Want You to Think
by Alecia B. Hunter
aleciab@excite.com
³High Noon²
12/13/00 Winter Finale
There¹s a showdown in the Felicity corral. The tumbleweeds blow across the street as Basketball Ben faces his enemies one by one. A lone cowboy brandishes a gun and takes his shot. And this is the end of the season.
The writers were on top of their game for this, the final show. This episode was rich in symbolism and truth.
A truism: Parents rarely know what¹s going on in their children¹s lives between the ages of 13 and 23 or so. For that decade, parents continue to see the children they think they have raised, rather than the actual individual which blossoms in front of them. In this episode, we saw Felicity¹s mother struggling with her lack of control over her daughter¹s life. She says to Felicity: ³I don¹t recognize your life anymore.² As a parent, though most things may be out of your control...maybe your job or marriage--like in her case--but you can always depend on being influential in your child¹s life. Felicity¹s mom learns that her daughter is now in control.
Why, though, I ask the writers, could Felicity not defend Ben more adequately? When her mother asked her to explain what was great about Ben, all she answered was that ³She loved him.² It makes me wonder. Perhaps the writers want us to think that her love for Ben is more instinctual. Whereas, Felicity has no problem articulating Noel¹s positive attributes. Her relationship with these two men demonstrates two sides of love. Which ever person the writers decide to make the victim of this shooting, is maybe the person they think Felicity should love.
Then there is the possibility that Molly herself is shot. Crackhead Pimp Daddy James may have the syndrome Noel contacted earlier in the season. You remember...the stalker sickness. In fact, maybe Noel passed it on to James when they met, explaining why Noel is back to normal all of a sudden.
A second truism: Religion matters in relationships. The writers want to demonstrate that as nonchalant as you THINK you can be about religion, if it matters to you at all, it will come up in your relationship. They have demonstrated this belief in their scripting of Elena and Tracy. The writers want us to learn from their difficulties.
A third truth: Ruby is the parrot, my ass!$#%&!!@!
Did you watch the scene in which Felicity told Noel she was thinking of spending her holiday with her mom? In that scene they were in Sean¹s living room, with the trees all around them, standing so far apart from one another. The camera angled in on them so that the viewer sees this scene from above. Scene: Neither character can see the forest through the trees; they are so close together, but so far apart.
It was through this conflict that the writers forced Ben¹s character to face many of his demons. Why do I call this article High Noon? It¹s Ben versus Felicity¹s Mom, Ben versus Noel (for Felicity¹s affections) and Ben versus James. We know he won the battle with Felicity¹s Mom. We¹ll have to wait a few months to find out which of the other two battles he won. I¹ll be back when the show is, waiting at the stagehouse to see which cowboy fell. I¹ll see you there. Till then, keep thinkin¹.
³What Felicity Writers Want You to Think²
by Alecia B. Hunter
³Wisconsin¹s Best²
12/6/00
Bring on the velveeta! Pour on the Nacho Sauce! Slice me off some swiss! They were evidently celebrating cheese week tonite because I¹ve never seen cheesier or more predictable writing in one show.
As this week¹s Felicity opens, a trendy scooter swooshes out of the elevator in front of our heroine Felicity. This is the writers reminding us how hip and with the times the show is. Pop culture rules Generations X, Y and 0. We gotta have ³in jokes.²
Then, they had to remind us that Felicity is (gasp!) a student! We had forgotten that fact seeing as no one went to CLASS this entire semester. How did they remind us? By inventing an impossible feat for Felicity to meet and conquer! Take a test in a class that she¹s never been to. Let me lay the writers down on the proverbial therapy couch.That¹s classic Freudian dream analysis at work: Felicity has too much going on and thinks that she¹s missing something, she¹s forgetting something. Nooooo, not something but SOMEONE! And who was there to remind her? Your hero and mine, the lovely Noel.
The next provolone-laden event was the ³barge in² by Crackhead Pimp-Daddy James. See, the bad cowboys always wear black. Black leather, that is. Crackhead Pimp-Daddy has the ³bad guy² act down pretty well. But what kind of idiots do you take our cast to be? Everyone knows that Crackhead Pimp-Daddy (CHPD for short) has a gun. And they know that he¹s looking for the Brit. So they LEAVE THE DOOR UNLOCKED accidentally?? Did feta cheese explode all over the writers¹ first drafts? I don¹t know about you but I wouldn¹t accidentally leave ANY door unlocked knowing that CHPD was on his way to my house. I¹d be stackin¹ dressers and ovens and couches up against the door so that the only thing getting in my door was CHPD¹s inevitably stinky breath and he huffed and puffed trying to knock the door down. And didn¹t these kids ever get an elementary school assembly? The numbers are 9-1-1. See, you dial them and these nice men in blue show up to protect you. That is, unless you live in Los Angeles and then they try to sell you crack. In which case they¹d get in a rumble with CHPD for pimpin¹ in their territory. But since the show takes place in New York, why the heck didn¹t one of those brain children call the cops?
Probably because there were no NERDS in the room. They SURELY would have done the intelligent thing and save the day. Instead the nerds were participating in our Geeks Are Cool message for this week. Of course the geeks both participated in a bikini calender selection (Richard and Sean) and TWO of them got booty in one show (Sean and our Choir Boy Tracy.) Ya know that¹s two geeks losing their virginity in one season. And can you say GRILLED CHEESE to the scene where Antichrist Meghan and Sean make up? ³Oh, but I thought you...² ³No, I thought you...² They should have just stuck the two characters in an open field and had them run toward one another, arms outstretched, with the Dawson¹s Creek themesong blaring in the background. ³I don¹t wanna wait...²
What I can, and will wait for, is the final cheesecake desert scene. See Ben watches what goes down with Brit and CHPD with such interest because he sees his mother in Brit. He looks at her and thinks ³If only my mom had left my dad when he was beating her, I could have had a different life.² Freud again, writers? The writers are trying to make Ben relive and try to manipulate his past. Nice try. But I hate cheesecake. Can I trade it in for a Noel-cream pie? Well how about a dairy-free season finale. Did you really think we liked cheese that much? Well, keep thinkin.'
What Felicity Writers Want You to Think
by Alecia B. Hunter
aleciab@excite.com
“The Setup”
11/29/00
We’re being set-up. Not framed exactly, but set up all the same. Felicity’s writers are weaving their intricate web so that we hardly notice the seams through which they weave couples apart and back together. That way when the season finale comes, we’re in awe of their magnificence. Take Felicity and Noel. They know some of us (the intelligent ones) want them to get back together. So they pepper Felicity-Noel conversations with “We should do something else together,” and “I would love to work with you.” I can just see them hunched over a softly glowing computer screen, dreaming up new and improved loser pets. Their fingers accidently brushing one another, their brown-haired heads bowed close together (cause blond Noel does NOT have more fun.) The writers are slowly weaving them back together, bit by delicious bit. They want us, as viewers, to feel torn between Noel and Ben. I betcha it’s one of them that gets shot in the season finale.
Then there’s Meghan and Sean. I think the writers were out surfin’ the web, checking out our thoughts because Meghan was expressing all the same thoughts many viewers have had. She HAD changed, become less frisky. They had to place a little splinter in their domestic bliss to show us that it’s okay that she’s changed. That nerds in assless pants are cooler than her old loser friends. Thus, this week’s Geeks Are Cool message comes from Sean in his moment of naked truth.
And finally, they’re definitely setting Elena and Church-Boy up to get back together. Their reconciliation will make us feel better for the simultaneous shooting injury one of our other favorite men may face.
Un question, s’il vous plait. Why did the marketers advertise this week’s show like it was Ben’s gun and that HIS behavior is what will rip their relationship apart? I guess that’s why this column is called What Felicity Writers Want You to Think and not Felicity MARKETERS Want You to Think. Any takers for that weekly column? No? Well, maybe you have a better idea for your own column. Something like “The Social Significance of Assless Pants in Felicity?” "Religious Proselytizing in J.J. Abrahm’s Geek-World Drama Felicity?” No? Well, then maybe you can come up with something else. Till then, Keep Thinkin’.
What Felicity Writers Want You to Think
by Alecia B. Hunter
aleciab@excite.com
"The Poop Hits the Fan"
11/22/00
This week's article is going to be short and stinky...cause the truth came out on this week's episode of Felicity and it wasn't pretty. Noel told the truth and lost the girl (deservedly so.) Tracy found out and dumped the girl (deservedly so.) Javier slipped up and lost his egg-makin' girl cause he didn't tell the truth. (not as deservedly so) And the truth came out about Molly the Brit¹s drug problem. (Couldn¹t think of anything else to do with her character, eh writers?) My, oh, my.
I think J.J. Abrahms (Felicity¹s producer) was punished a lot as a kid. I think he got caught with his hands in the cookie jar, caught sneaking out at night, caught cheating on tests, caught with a girl in his bedroom--I mean ALL OF IT. He must have been horrible at getting away with stuff because he created a whole show based on the idea that "THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE." Er, no, that¹s a different show, but the same premise, yes? I think J.J. thinks life is about truth. Thus, Felicity is about truth.
Boy were virgin geeks cool this week! Richard, the one on the show who is painfully truthful almost all the time, got some crazy honey love because HE told the truth where Noel didn't. After this week's show, I'm not bothered as much by the events surrounding Noel's recent (cough, cough) indiscretions. I mean, I think maybe it was me, but I saw NO passion between them. I didn't buy he and Jane as a couple ONE iota. And if JunkFood Ballerina can find Richard sexy enough to sleep with, why then, I don't mind at all that Noel slipped up on this one. She wasn't deserving of him anyway. Of course, I realize this is a horrible, twisted, illogical way of looking at the situation. But that's my prerogative as a viewer.
I will refrain from commenting on the plentiful Noel-Ballerina food eating scenes again for fear I'll be maligned as a thin woman-hater. I don't dislike thin women. I'm thin myself. I just dislike thin, beautiful ones who can't see Noel for the stalker--er, I mean--stellar man that he is. So, I'm officially dropping it. Really. I mean it.
The only real redeeming part of this otherwise downer of a show is when Felicity said to Noel, "If there¹s one guy who doesn't have to lie to get a girl's attention it's you. Trust me." Note to writers: Again with the taunting us? It's the day before Thanksgiving. Give us a break, we know Basketball Ben will be around just a little bit longer. Unless he shoots himself with that gun he drops on the floor in next week's previews. But that would be REALLY crappy writing. So think of some better way to off Ben. I'll contemplate it and let ya know what I come up with. Till then, Keep thinkin'.
What Felicity Writers Want You to Think
by Alecia B. Hunter
aleciab@excite.com
11/15/00
“And the Moral of the Story Is...”
This week’s show was a prime example of why I watch “Felicity.” The writers tackle somewhat melodramatic plot twists through genuine interaction between characters. Several of the past shows have focused on truth, and the importance of integrity. This week’s show was a seeming culmination.
Observe:
Noel: To snoop, or not to snoop?
Elena: To cheat again, or not to cheat again?
Felicity: To tell on daddy-o, or not to tell?
Ben’s Dad: To be a pedophile, or not to be a pedophile?
Ben AND Tracy: To forgive or not to forgive?
Truly, the bottom line in all of this is to forgive, or not to forgive. The writers force us to examine forgiveness from many different perspectives. We know Elena and like her because she seems to have a good head on her shoulders. Isn’t it ironic that she was facing a cheating situation of her own the second season? With her best friend and that other guy she was seeing? Blair I think it was? Now the shoe is on the other foot. Should she have forgiven and will she now be forgiven?
“You’re so weird,” Meghan said to Shawn. Well that’s the pot calling the kettle black. I’ll say up front that I am a non-denominational, equal opportunity critic, but did you notice all the religious symbolism this week? There’s the obvious torah, menorah, yarmulke on Shawn. But then when Ben went to the Al-anon meeting at the end of the show there were crosses everywhere. Now is this all because the writers on the show have recently been “born again,” because Jesus has become a corporate sponsor and they needed product placement, or because they want us to equate truth and forgiveness with God? Maybe I’m reaching here. I was just so goshdarn impressed with the writing this week!
It is also my moral, religious duty to point out that Tyra Banks (Junk Food Ballerina) was eating in just about every scene tonight. She started out with potato chips, then Indian food, then coffee at Dean and Deluca’’s. This was, I think, another half-hearted attempt to make us like her even though she’s gorgeous and thin. It’s backfiring though. Note to writers: we want to see her anorexic, struggling to stay so thin! Not eating enough food to make a normal person wanna hurl like after Thanksgiving dinner...and STILL looking so perfect. Give her a good eating disorder or two. Or flunk her out of dance class for squashing her pas de deux partner. Then we will THINK about liking her. Maybe.
Geeks are cool message of the week: I’m not sure if Tracy counts as a geek or not, but they are certainly writing him that way recently, so this week’s honors will go to him. Why? A POEM?!?!! Written into the letters of Elena’s name? Awwww. So very cute and definitely cool. Another point for the geeks. But alas, Noel’s stalker-tactics have sorely hurt the team’s overall standing. They may NOT make it to the championship this year. That’s right folks, you heard it right here first: Geeks of the world are being imprisoned on every corner of the globe tonite for obsessive behavior and quoting Sting lyrics...”Every breath you take, every move you make, every email you send...”
Noel’s probably intercepted this email as you are reading it. Don’t say anything personal. Just keep thinkin'
What Felicity Writers Want You to Think
11/8/00
“God, the Virgin, Ice-Cream and Instant Karma”
by Alecia B. Hunter
aleciab@excite.com
The writers are playing us like second-hand trombones, like pawn-shop drums,like Toys r’ Us banjos. Luckily, I can see through their thinly-veiled rhetoric. And I, like Buddha, shall enlighten you.
First, they’re clearly building Tracy up to be holy--too pure and good for Elena. At the start of this show, he’s off building houses for Habitat for Humanity. Then, he’s Sean’s spiritual counselor. He has got such the hook-up with God that he advises, “You don’t have to find God, Sean. God’s already found you.” God’s got the angelic Global Positioning System (GPS). Meanwhile, Elena is falling further and further into the fires of hell, cheating on his holiness, Tracy. Thus, when Elena breaks up with him, we can identify with her weakness--she’s only human right? The wider the gap seems between them, the less disappointed we are when they break up.
Secondly, the writers have shamelessly introduced Ben’s father this season. Why shameless? The only reason they wrote him in was as a mirror for Ben--to demonstrate to us how similar they are. His father’s just there as a point of reference. The writers want us to think “Gee, Ben is so much like his father.” If they hadn’t brought him on this season we may not have remembered Ben’s horror stories from the first season. Ben has spent the last two shows acting just like his dad! Case in point, Ben wails on Felicity’s freak-show partner. Later, Ben gets jumped on the street by the frat brothers. Duh! Like he didn’t kinda deserve that. Was that instant karma?
And my final brilliant analysis has to do with Noel’s newest girlie. Did you notice she was eating Ben and Jerry’s ice cream out of the container when she answered the door the first time? That was to make us hate her less because she’s thin, beautiful and a dance major. They’re just trying to ply us and manipulate us with pints of Chunky Monkey. It AINT WORKIN! She’s still beautiful and thin! Why don’t I look like that when I eat Wavy Gravy out of the container?
This week’s Geeks are Cool message came from Richard. We all agree he’s a geek. Well, the geek got a Brit Lips Smacker Special this week. Not only are geeks cool, but VIRGIN geeks are cool too! The club is letting in new members! Geeks of the world UNITE! I do have to sadly note that Noel was on a particularly uncool tip this week--peeping tom? Stalker? Come, come Noel! You’re married to Dorito Girl, you’ve been to all the coolest clubs and you used to have blond hair! Is all this bumbling necessary? Note to writers: We like the cool Noel better.
On a side note--yes writers, we dutifully noticed the product placement. I say, in a zombie-like trance: “I will drink Fiji water while working on my iBook Macintosh computer! Yes, master. We will serve you.” That is, until we remember that we KNOW what you want us to think. And we’re gonna think for ourselves instead of letting you do that for us. So there! Now, get out there and do your civic duty: buy a cute pink phone like Felicity always talks on. Till next week, Keep Thinkin’.
What Felicity Writers Want You to Think
11/01/00
“Honesty’s the Best Policy?”
by Alecia B. Hunter
aleciab@excite.com
I, the sharp-witted laser-tongued commentator, am stumped. Our favorite show’s gallant writers have flabbergasted even me. Felicity was going to tell Ben about her drunken-freakshow antics. Then, her mentor told her not to. Then, Noel told her not to. Then, she got in trouble because she didn’t.
Clearly, the writers want us to think that honesty is the best policy. Look what happened with Sean and Meghan: as soon as Sean came clean with her about his “ball infection” the tension between them ceased. Sean even said,“After seeing what happened with Ben and Felicity, I think I have to be honest.”
So if the underlying message is “Honesty is the best policy” then are “adults” not to be trusted? Did Felicity’s counselor and confidant steer her wrong by saying that kindness is more important than honesty? The very fact that the writers chose to announce Felicity’s indiscretion via INTERNET shows that they think the truth will always come out. I mean, how much less subtle can they get?
Picture of what Felicity did=a virus spread around to the whole campus I only hope they are not foreshadowing here...indiscretion=virus for Felicity! Or perhaps they are foreshadowing something else altogether. Note Noel’s advice to Ben--”If you push her away because of this you’ll regret it. And that I know for sure.” (Choirs of angels sing from the heavens as a brilliant light breaks through the clouds) Might that be the sounds of Noel’s heartstrings tugging for Felicity? And if so, there is a God and Felicity and Noel will be back together before the season is over. I do fear, however, that the dastardly writers are only taunting us (the Noel fans) with that little bit o’ dialogue.
This week’s “Geeks are Cool” message: Real men don’t drink beer (like Ben) but drink scotch straight up (like Noel.) And darn it, Noel is so hot that even the GUYS are sweating his honey-love. I feel ya, violin boy. But ya can’t have him. He only has eyes for...Tyra Banks if you saw next week’s previews. I guess the writers also want us to know they think interracial dating is just fine too. That’s their public service announcement message #345 this season. Right after “It’s okay for Richard to be gay.”
Message to Richard: Honesty is the best policy. You saw what happened to Felicity. Come out of the closet or you and violin-boy may be next month’s playmates on campus email. Spare us that pleasure, please. We already saw it on Melrose Place, like, 5 seasons ago.
If you’ve had a stroke of genius and can figure out WHY the writers made one of the most intelligent persons on this show (the counselor) give seemingly horrible advice, then by all means email me. If you can’t, Keep Thinkin’.
What Felicity Writers Want You To Think
10/25/00
by Alecia B. Hunter
“Peer Pressure”
Peer Pressure--it’s supposed to be bad, right Something that makes you do things you wouldn’t normally do. Like smoking, drinking, jumping off the bridge because all your other friends are doing it? I’m thinkin’ the writers are thinkin’ that peer pressure can be a good thing. Did you notice how embarrassed Felicity was when she failed her French test? That’s good peer pressure. But when the pressure gets bad...
Well I know somebody who’s in deep doo-doo, how ‘bout you? You’d think Felicity Porter would have taken an oath against drinking. Last couple times she indulged she was caught breaking into the school’s pool and was almost thrown out; then she kissed Noel in the bedroom while her boyfriend and his mother (her art teacher) were in the next room.
Think about your best friend. If he or she had done any of the things Felicity has done while drinking, do ya think you’d be sending them to Betty Ford Clinic for rehab? Either the writers are hurting for ideas or they want us to think Felicity’s a drunk, right? Wrong. I’m guessing they want to portray the entire reason why people drink: to escape their problems. That,and peer pressure. I’ve decided that if Felicity is the archangel of the show, Meghan’s the obvious antichrist. After all, she is a phone sex operator (no offense to any working girls who may be reading this.) But even peer pressure, otherwise known as Sean-pressure, made her quit what could have been her true calling.
And even more peer pressure made Ben get down and dirty: he registered to vote. Was that a blatant push to get us all registered for the upcoming election or what? I will applaud the writers, at least, that they didn’t work Bush or Gore into tonite’s episode. I’m sure they would have volunteered to get that critical “youth vote.” We all know that Ben is the “cool” one on the show. He’s got the whole Dylan McKay bad-boy act down-pat. And if the guy who’s so taken by the Playstation II can get off his lazy Basketball playin’ butt and vote “hypocrat” (Javier’s word) then by golly WE ALL SHOULD! Can you hear the American Anthem in the back ground, again?
But, NO, we’ve got it all wrong...that’s the geeks of the world UNITE anthem again! Tonite’s “geeks are cool” message (and I’m convinced there WILL be one every week) came in the form of a PC Olympics. Noel was declared the “Super Mega Nerd” for all the world to worship and admire. And yet, he’s still so smooth that even Antichrist Meghan “Can’t handle the places he partied last summer.” I can handle it Noel, take me!
Seriously, note to writers: we get what you’re trying to make us think. Peer pressure can be both a bad and good influence. And we’ll register to vote if we’re old enough. And we promise to never, never be phone sex operators. (Ya hear that guys--that means you too!) Next week, I see through my magic Bindi (Molly the Brit gave it to me) that we’ll be discussing honesty next week. “Really Ben! I didn’t chop down the cherry tree. OR sleep with that guy.” Now, if only her nose would stop growing and giving her away.
Till then, keep thinkin’.
10/18/00
by Alecia B. Hunter
aleciab@excite.com
“Money Isn’t Important, Nerds are Cool and Blonds Have Too Much Fun”
Everyone has an agenda, or so the saying goes. I say the people who write Felicity are no different. They create certain plotlines, dialogue and relationships to teach us all something. This weekly column will discuss what exactly, from my point of view, they want us all to think. As you can see from the title, I put it all out on the table for you already.
First, Noel turns down $100,000 for a year of being married to Dorito Girl.Yeah, RIGHT! What planet are they living on? Say you’re a student (if you
aren’t already) and you have THOUSANDS of dollars of debt staring you down at the end of your college career. “Hello kid! Welcome to the World! Start paying your debt right NOW.” And all he has to do is live with a beautiful, exciting girl and have sex with her every now and then, for about a year.
Which brings me to my second point, at least one of the writers of this show HAD to have been a major geek in high school. And maybe still is a major geek. What other show out there go so very far toward trying to convince you that geeks are cool? Dorito girl, whom is an example of the perfect female to many guys, says “I don’t care if you’re a geek,” and later even goes
so far as to say Noel, the geek, is the best lover she ever had. In fact he “puts all the others to shame.” Is this some geek’s wet dream or what? You can almost hear the national anthem in the background...Geeks of the world unite! And Noel is just so damn sexy that he can pull the whole thing off and we buy it. I mean, I buy it. I just may give up $250,000 to be married to him. Maybe.
And I gotta say this. Did anyone notice that J.J. Abrahms SINGS the new theme song? In case you didn’t know, he’s one of the show’s creators/producers. I am leaning toward thinkin that J.J. is the head geek
in charge around there. He gets his own show AND he gets to sing the theme song. It’s pretty smart you must admit.
However smart is not the theme for the blonds on this show. Tell me, who is blond on this show? NOBODY. Each one is a brunette. How did that happen on a show like this? 90210 had Kelly and Donna. But then Donna went to the dark side. But, OK I digress. My theory is that the writers want you to think blonds aren’t as cool as the world thinks. Ruby was on the show last season,
she was a blond right? Well, where is she now? The writers must have realized her blond vibe was too much for the show. If you’ll notice, Noel started off this season with blond STREAKS in his hair and boy was he out of control! It’s as if the writers used the blond streaks as a symbol for
his instability. Just when Noel comes to his senses he says, “Egads! Where did these blond streaks come from? Felicity, my non freaked out friend,please dye my hair back to sensible brown."
Perhaps you think I am going a little to far out here. Perhaps you think I have too much time on my hands. Or perhaps you think I am brillant! Either way, I’d love to know what you think Felicity’s writers want us to think.
Next week, we’ll probably be discussing how REALLY bad for you drinking is. Judging from Baskbetball Ben’s father and the spoilers. Till then, Keep Thinkin!
