So I watched Battlestar Galactica last night (which I got on DVD as a birthday present! w00t!) Before I go into the actual review, you, dear reader, should know that I grew up with Battlestar Galactica. I watched it on TV religiously. It was one of my favorite shows evar. Of course, I wasn't even 10 at the time, but I think that enhances the nostalgia. [p] There are actually 2 main versions of the Battlestar Galactica movie: a theatrical release and a made-for-TV release. Most videos available until now were of the made-for-TV release. The DVD version (at least the widescreen version thereof) is the theatrical release. I'll get into the differences shortly. [p] It also needs to be understood that Battlestar Galactica took place on the heels of Star Wars and also at the peak of bad 70s overacting. In other words, you're gonna get a lot of big hair, "retro" hi-tech equipment and cheesy dialogue. The heroes are heroic (as opposed to today's flawed protagonists) and the bad guys are bad (as opposed to being complex victims of society who have turned into misunderstood psychopaths.) The show is liberal enough to have the token African-Americans and women in respectable supporting roles, but is old enough that there's a healthy dose of good old-fashioned male chauvenism. Depending on what camp you're in, it either makes or breaks the movie. Be forwarned, that's what you're getting. [p] So the movie starts with this fleet of spaceships (which we later learn are called "battlestars") waiting for this peace ceremony with a group called the "Cylons" with whom they'd been at war for around 1000 years. Everyone is happy and excited at the prospect of peace, except for Commander Adama, played by Lorne Greene. Now, Lorne Greene (may his soul rest in peace) was one of those actors who always played a major fatherly good guy. When you saw Lorne Greene, you thought to yourself, "he's a major character playing a fatherly good guy, so he's always right about everything" because this was the 70s, and father was always right. Anyway, Lorne Greene isn't sure about this whole peace thing, something rubs him the wrong way about it. But, being a fatherly good guy, he follows his orders and goes about his business. [p] Meanwhile, a standard fighter patrol launches from the Galactica to do a sweep of the area, and of course, it's Adama's son and Adama's other son, out on his first patrol. Because of this whole peace thing, they're not expecting any trouble, but wouldn't you know they run across a staging area with over 1000 (speak: 15) Cylon fighters! Oh, snap! So they hightail it out of there, and of course the Cylons give chase, and of course Adama's son (whose name was listed first in the credits) was an expert pilot who was able to get away, and of course Adama's other son (whose name was not listed in the opening credits) got one of his engines blown out so he could conveniently be killed in sight of the battlestar fleet to prove just how evil these Cylon types are and provide for extra weepy pathos. But I'm getting ahead of myself. [p] The Galactica figures out that their patrol is under attack and wants to send support fighters, but Baltar (John Colicos) suggests to the president that it might undermine the peace initiative, so the Galactica is prohibited from launching ships as they determine that over 1000 (speak: 15) unknown craft head toward them at high speed, chasing their two patrol craft. You can clearly see what's going on, because a bunch of little triangles are chasing these 2 little asterisks, which are heading toward 2 big asterisks. Adama, thinking quickly, decides that while he can't launch fighters, he CAN conduct drills, so he calls for red alert. Adama's son (Apollo, played by Richard Hatch but not THAT Richard Hatch) races up to tell Adama what's going on, since his transmissions were being jammed. Meanwhile, these 1000 or 15 Cylons or whatever attack the battlestar group, who are all completely taken by surprise (all that was missing was Admiral Ackbar) - except for the Galactica, of course. The Galactica launches their 100 (speak: 12) fighters and we get a nifty space combat scene. Meanwhile, the Galactica is trying to figure out where the Cylon capital ships are. They're attacking the defenseless colonies! Oh, snap! So, they leave the fight to head to the colonies where they'll be too late to do anything. As it turns out, the Galactica is the only surviving battlestar they're aware of. [p] Long story made short, Adama gathers up the survivors and puts them on all sorts of spaceships as refugees in search of a distant planet where they'll be safe from the Cylon tyranny. This planet? "Earth." Wow. Kinda makes your spine tingle. Or maybe it's a reminder that you need another drink. But I digress. Anyway, because of the haste with which they had to leave, they're low on food, fuel and water, so they have to find a place to restock. Meanwhile, it's revealed that Baltar has sold out to the Cylons (which comes as no surprise, because with a name like Baltar, how could he possibly be trustworthy?) The Galactica heads to this planet which is essentially a giant fuel mine with casinos, girls and booze. They restock, but this whole place turns out to be another Cylon trap! Oh, snap! But wait, we have Lorne Greene being fatherly and wise, and he's gonna see right through this trap! So he springs a trap of his own, and there's this big dramatic shootout scene which ignites the fuel in the mines, and they escape and trap the Cylons. Then Apollo and his womanizing buddy Face, I mean Starbuck decide to go after the Cylon capital ship. Using the planet as cover, they mimic 6 fighter squadrons and get the capital ship to retreat further behind and closer to the planet. Now, because of this isolated firefight, ALL the raw fuel on this planet is burning. Starbuck and Apollo pull out, and the planet explodes, taking the capital ship with it. Hooray! Now the Galactica and all those other ships can go about the business of engaging in further adventures in a TV series! [p] I promised to divulge the difference between the TV version and the theatrical release. Basically, it boils down to this: in the theatrical release, the Cylons' Imperious Leader has issued the order that ALL humans are to be exterminated, and Baltar didn't quite understand that ALL meant "no exceptions" and besides, Cylons knew better than to trust those who would betray their own peoples. Heh. Sucks to be him. In the TV release, instead of being summarily executed, he's led away for later execution, then, at the end, after the capital ship blows up, the new Imperious Leader decides to pursue peace and spares his life. [p] I fully expected this movie to be bad, but in a good sort of way (kinda like some of Capt. Kirk's more "special" moments in Star Trek.) It actually wasn't nearly as bad as I remembered. Yes, there were some ultra-cheesy moments, and their naming conventions were a bit hokey, and their definition of a "micron" is nothing like our definition of a micron, but at least they were consistent about it, and it didn't interfere with the story. At the end, I found myself thinking, "ya know, this movie is still pretty good." And for one of my childhood favorites viewed through the jaded lenses of age and having seen some far better acting and special effects, the fact that it held up as well as it did was a very pleasant surprise. I only wished they'd released it in stereo.