First things first, I'm not supposed to open the letter yet. Ok, I can do that.
So, like I said, evidently, God's planning to be in the area soon, and he plans on passing by my window of faith. I just love how they throw words like "prayer" and "faith" around to make things seem more holy.
Anyway, God's gonna pass my faith window, and some of the things in the magical mystery envelope are going to happen within a week or two. This will only happen if I sleep with the envelope and wear the ribbon. I wonder what the people who write this crap are thinking.
Ned: Hey, this time, let's send them a picture of Jesus with magic eyes.
Jerry: How'll we do that?
Ned: We can take the eyes off a Jesus picture and draw them back in really faint.
Jerry: That's brilliant! We should throw it in with that crappy little purple 3 made of felt.
Ned: Yeah, about that, felt's a little expensive. We should tell them to send it back so we can recycle it.
