The Rug

Now, this isn't just a prayer rug. No. This, my friend, is a 100% authentic Bible Faith, Cathedral, Church, Prayer Rug! It says I need to use the Limited Edition Bible Faith Cathedral Church Prayer Rug 2000 Professional within the next 24 hours. Oops. Hopefully God won't smite me because of my procrastination.

Anyway, here's what I'm supposed to do:

1. Go to a room where I can be alone with God.
2. Kneel with both knees on the Holy Ghost Faith Limited Edition Bible Faith Cathedral Church Prayer Rug 2000 Ltd. Professional Edition.
3. Tell God what I want.
4. Place the Unusial Microsoft Holy Ghost Faith Church Limited Edition Bible Faith Testament Cathedral Church Prayer Rug 2000 Ltd. Professional Edition Rug in the Bible on Phillipians 4:19 overnight.
5. Send the Unusual Important Exclusive Bible Microsoft Holy Ghost Faith Church Kenner Limited Edition Bible Jehovah God Faith Flame Retardant Testament Cathedral Church Prayer Rug 2000 Ltd. Professional Edition Rug back to them.

I think I can do that. Next page.