Part Two: "Rosabella, The Vindictive Bakeress"


Applicant Number Sixty-Seven:

(A conservatively dressed, old-fashioned, grandma-type woman steps forward.)

Applicant #67: “Good morning, Dearies. My name is Rosabella and I am a bakeress. I would like to go back to school, though, so I can get a degree to do long-term research.”

RK: “Bakeress?”

Mars:Long-term research? Aren’t you, well, a little old to be planning something like that?”

Rosabella: “Nonsense. You’re never to old to learn, my dear.”

RK: “Bakeress?”

(Mars then notices the plate of various cookies that Rosabella had brought.)

Mars: “Those for us?”

Rosabella: “Of course, deary! Just be careful which ones you eat! The middle ones are safe, but the ones on the right are laced with laxatives, and the ones on the left contain flies.”

(Rosabella leans forward conspiratorially.)

Rosabella: “They’re for those applicants that you just really can’t stand.”

(Rosabella winks at them, then straightens up again.)

Rosabella: Well, I need to be off! Have appointments and whatnot to keep. Take care!”

(Rosabella waves and smiles sweetly as she leaves. Mars stares dumbfoundedly after her, then looks suspiciously down at the plate of cookies.)

RK: “Bakeress?”

Mars: “Yes, yes! Bakeress! Now here, go put these by the door. Next!”


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