The Found

Duke Nukem: Well now that THAT'S taken care of, lets join the action in progress.

(*GRUNT* Ungh, anyway, the curtain rises to reveal Howard Lincoln, now under Pikachu's control, equipped in Battletech Elemental armor.)

RtR: (to audience) Hey, if Madgrad can violate copyrights, so can I!

HL: Doesn't it seem that all subservient puppets have some goify name like "Howard"?

Howard: Actually my name, tranlated to Transylvanian, means "Igor".

RtR: That explains alot...

(And with that, Howard fires a battery of missiles at Hasno and Rag, they dive clear as the missles strike the ground, sending a shower of rubble around them.)

HL: Damn, that security guard wouldn't let me bring my f*#$ing PSG-1 aboard the plane. Nooooo, that would be illegal. THEY WONT LET ME BRING A &*%$ RIFLE INTO THE COUNTRY, BUT SURE, THIS EVIL BASTARD CAN BRING A HEAVILY ARMED POWER ARMOR SUIT INTO A SOLD-OUT CONVENTION CENTER!

RtR: Thats what happens when you enjoy superstar status in Japan. Did you see Sosa at the Japanese All-Star game?

HL: Well, you gotta point there...

Pikachu: PIKAHAHAHAHAHA! Find them Howard, they're hiding somewhere behind these piles of rubble!

RtR: I got an idea! Hasno, gimme that Fantastic Four disc!

HL: Ok. (hands over disk) *SIGH* So much for my new coaster. Woulda looked great next to my Lara Croft lampshade.

RtR: I know were buddies an' all, but, man, you are weird! (slams F4 disc into Pokemon Launcher).

RtR: HOWARD, this is for..umm...Kid Icarus and every other one of Mr. Miyamoto's creations you allowed to fade into videogame obscurity!

(RtR fires the "loaded" cannon, the blast blows the Elemental armor to pieces, leaving an unconscious Howard Lincoln.)

Pikachu: Curse you Ragnarok the Fool! You may have disposed of my Elemental...but you cannot escape that which you cannot see! RBFOWP Teletubbie Operator! Home in on this location and eradicate these...

HL: Studly specimens of manhood?

Pikachu: ARRRGH! FIRE!!!

Silent HL: ......

Silent RtR: .....

Silent Pikachu: .....

Silent unconscous Howard: .....

(.....)

Silent Duke: ....What're u starin' at?

(Uhh, nothing. *AHEM* Rag and Hasno, upon realizing they haven't been atomized by death rays from above, look to the sky, a twinkle in their eyes, knowing that their friends have succeeded in destroying the RBFOWP...)

Duke: Man, that is the GAYEST line I've ever heard.

(HEY!)

Pikachu: DAMMIT! Well, I didnt want to have to do this, but it appears I'll have to play the last card up my sleeve. Prepare yourselves...

(Pikachu dives under the stage, as RtR and Hasno approach the Pokemon-made hole, soft organ music starts playing from within.)

Pikachu: N..no, I'm Pikachu! You mitochondria will never c..consume me, I will retain my poke-manity...ARRGH!!!

HL: What does it all mean?

RtR: I dont know, I dont want to know, but I do know this (wow, try saying THAT three-times-fast): Duke wuz right, we ARE knee-deep in da s*$t!

Duke: Pardon me mister Ragamuffin, how would you like your crow? Heh-heh