My Dinner with Kirk

Madgrad: Wow! Your our idol!

Capt Kirk: Do---you---need --medical attention?

Mark: *gasp**erk*[under breath hahahahahah]

RtR: Uh MArk, ixnay on the laughter-ay.

Hasno: Yeah, we don't need to piss him off.

Madgrad: Alright, I'm gonna wander around a bit, and go off with Spock. Discuss logic and all.

Mark: Coo, I'm gonna jam with the Captain.

RtR: Alright Hasno and I will go talk with the engineers, see what we can learn about space flight and all.

BMS: I'm gonna go to sick bay and get some medical suplies.

:: TWO HOURS LATER::

BMS: *Hick* Man Bones, how the hell do you keep this much booze in a sick bay?

Bones: *Belch* Well, its simple. I have hollowed out all the beds, and I fill each one with a different hard liquor. Bourbons in the one by the wall. Go take a wee sip.

BMS: *Hic* Wow, thanks man. Oh wait, where the f*** did the floor go? Oh man, I'm gonna be sick! *THUMP* AAAAHHH! I'm hanging on, but the floor is moving?! WHERE'S THE GODDAMN TOILET!

VOICE ON INTERCOM: ATtention! Attention! All security to the Captain's lounge!

BMS: *BRAAAPPPP* Oh man, guess I gotta get up there.

::At the same time, in Spock's quarters::

Spock: Allow me to light the "special" Vulcan incence.

Madgrad: *SNIFFFFFFF* Wow man. Oh wow! This is like totally groovy! You weren't a logical hardass, you ae just stoned out of your f****** mind!

Spock: You bet yer ass!

Madgrad: Oh wait, I see something....AAAGAGHHHG! AGHAGAHAG! IT"s THE NINE HEADED CACTUS DEMON OF DEATH! Run for it! Its singing to me!

Nine headed Catcus Demon of Death: Who can make the sun rise, sparkle it with dew? The candyman can, the candyman can!

Voice over Intercom:ATtention! Attention! All security to the Captain's lounge!

Madgrad: Oh god, oh god! I'm outta here.

Spock: Um, that's not the door.

Madgrad: Screw it, I'm going through.*THUMP* Oooofff.

::And in engineering:: Scotty: I tell ya lads, I really don't have a bloody idea how to fix this damn ship. The think fixes itself half the time. I just sit around and act pretty.

Voice over Intercom:ATtention! Attention! All security to the Captain's lounge!

RtR and Hasno: MARK!! Lets bust a move man...

::And so our heroes lumbered, ran, and floated{?} on up to the Captain's lounge::

Mark: I swear to god I didn't mean anything by it!

Capt Kirk: No-one---touches--my women!

MArk: I didn't know she was yours! Ack! Put me down you fat bald bastard!

Kirk: Now you did it! I'm gonna make you my bitch!

Madgrad: Aw screw it. Capt or not, I'm gonna kick your ass!

RtR, Hasno and BMS: No one look! This could get ugly! Smack! Thump! Crash! Clang! Whump!

Madgrad: Who's yer daddy?

BMS: My god, you just beat the sh*t out of Kirk! Oh no, that can't happen!

RtR: Yeah, the Capt losing a fight? This could rip the fabric of space and time.

::Suddenly, a glowing blue rift opens up in front of our heroes::

Madgrad: Had to mention the rip in space and time didn't you?

RtR:[In real small voice] Sorry man!

Madgrad: Well, a rip in space in time? Time to dance!

::And so our five heroes bravely lept through the hole. WHat would they find on the other side?