RtR: [In hollow voice] Yes commander. (Now who's putting words in who's mouth!)
Madgrad: GWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!
Hey guys,
I heard that Square is finally going to make a sequel to Chrono Trigger on the Playstation. I really don't know if this is true, but they said so in a magazine. I'll be a red shirt security guard for you guys if Gamer X doesn't want to. I'll kick everyone in the nuts when they come, but you will have to pay me and let me sleep on your couch everynow and then. I went to UGP.com and all they said on the screen was coming soon.
Neon Funster
M.G.: Yes , a great evil has descended ore the land, and it is the new Unpaid Gamers. What a disgrace. No content, no humor, and no personality. All in favor of me turning evil again and laying the smack down on them, raise your right hand! Yes CT2 is coming and for the PSX2 no less! At least, thats the current rumor. And, sure you can be a Red Shirt security guard, but remember we go through those faster than JJJ goes through Depends. Sorry JJJ, I had to take the cheap shot.
BMS: Yes, those bastards at the new UGPO are #$%!#$%!#$%!#$s. We don't have any money, but you can sleep on the couch.
RtR: When I first saw the site, prior to JJJ's letter, I asked myself: WTF!?! Who is this 'Sean' fellow, sounds like an Next-Gen. reject? Where's the REAL UGPO's crew? And does anyone have deviled eggs leftover from New Year so I can PAINT the offices of those FGN b@$*@*ds?!?
Mark: Everyone forgot about me, even JJJ. Don't you remember me, Joey? I used to write to your site, and what do you do, you reject me! Whatta bout me, whatta bout Mark? Joey, you will feel my pain, you will feel the tifa-flow.
I was thinking more of Shakespeare than Brave New World, but since we're on the topic, did anyone else notice that some of the names in Demolition Man were lifted from the book? Lenina (the impudent strumpet:)) was also the name of Sandra Bullock's character. Her last name was Huxley which just happens to be the author's last name! Coincidence? I think NOT!
Now, to completely infuriate orderly folk, I will now return to the topic of RPGs. I was trying to think up a funky fresh (to use laymen's terms) combat system. Much like the fighting genre, RPGs must learn to utilize the terrain within a battle situation (and I'm not including strategy RPGs). For example, you could have characters with long range weapons hide behind crates...which could be destroyed by certain attacks, too. For RPGs with more modern settings, why not have a machine gun turret in the middle of the battlefield? You and the enemy would be scrambling to reach it, knocking each other out of it trying to gain the upper hand. It would add a new dimension to combat. Oh, speaking of new systems, Legend of Legaia's looks pretty cool (although slightly derivative of Xenogears, but evolved from it, nevertheless).
Infernal Spawn of Hell
M.G. : mmmmm...Sandra Bullock...I'd like to "Speed" Down her...oh, a letter. Yeah, Japanese RPGS rule, unlike our action RPGS. Heaven forbid we Americans THINK in a game instead of gunning everything down. F****** retards. LOL looks too damn cartoony for me, but I may be wrong. Hopefully it will have hardcore nudity like Xenogears. Hehehhe.
BMS: I still want a multiplayer realtime Gameboy Color RPG, but I don't have one. It's the new UGPO's fault I tells ya.
RtR: Yeah, the Japanese make infinitely better console RPG's than we Americans, probably cuz they've been at it a lot longer! Then again, we DO have Dungeons & Dragons. (Normally, I'd follow that with a *SOB* , but now that we have Baldur's Gate...)
Mark: Evil Spawn! Don't you know that D&D is of the Devil!
What the hell happened to UGPO? I'm really glad that none of you from the true Unpaid Game Players are working on that site, cause it kinda sucks. Anyways, enough of that. I was happy to see that old Joey had joined up with the monkeys. it's a good place for him. someone has to be able to keep an eye on him. So what is the plan for the new UGP? You guys must know something. tell me!!! I want answers!!!
Dan Squires
M.G.: UGPO is dead for now my friend. However, some of the Unpaid Gamers will come work for us! YEAH! So, to all five of our readers, I have a question: Would you like to see the UGPO crew work on our site until they get back on their feet? Or should we be robbed of their talents? If enough of you write in, the massive amount of guilt will force them to join us! YEAH!
BMS: Mre heh heh, join the dark side. The new UGPO is about as funny as Bob Saget, wait nothing is that bad. Actually the new UGPO is close. Maybe between Bob Saget and Newhart, heh heh those bland b@stards. Be sure to email them what you think of thier site.
RtR: Come to think of it, we haven't added any new members since last October. Maybe we could use some new primates around here. What say you EVIL Fanfrazio?
EVIL Fanfrazio: NYA! HUWAH!
RtR: DOWN BOY! Damn, maybe we never should have let EVIL EA Man un-kill you. Go make yourself useful and, uhh...decorate the "new and improved" UGPO site with your most EVIL and fould smelling feces, heh-heh.
Mark: Uh.... Matt sent me a press release. Prehaps I will post it one day, WHEN I GET OFF MY FAT LAZY BUTT!!! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!
TOPIC: How bad does the new UGPO suck?
Email: rabideditors@hotmail.com