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All Hope Abandon Ye Who Enter HereMark: Mwhahahahaha! See what happens when the Presidente turns his back for a few seconds? I have control of the your monitor. I can control the vertical, the horizontal. Please stand by. It may be a lame intro, but it will get better. Hopefully.Madgrad: Yes, watch as I make it all better! ::Madgrad drops his pants:: Mark: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Hey, I played Dragon Warrior III just a few months ago, and it was fun as hell! Those games kicked arse in the day, and they still do, goshdarnit! It's said that I defeated a bear unarmed! But if you want to know the truth, I used an iron claw! Hahahaha! Man, if I had an iron claw right now, I would be inflicting some serious damage. Oh well; at least I have my kickass moogle dance abilities! Prepare to face THE LEGENDARY MINIATURE WOMBAT ATTACK!!! Ha! "Whump" indeed! Beware, I live, as Sinistar liked to say for reasons that were not apparent. Then again, I don't know why I'M saying it either. Oh well, funk dis, I'm just filling up space. Anyway, I can't join you myself--I have a legion to command, dammit! But I CAN Supply you with some powerful undead moogle warriors, for an extremely reasonable price. Think about it. Captain Moogle Madgrad: Thanks but no thanks Capt, I already have vast legions to command. But its all worth it at the end of the day, thanks to Lietenant Colonel Lara and Major Willow. RtR: Uh Madgrad, remember the 11th comandment: Thou shalt not comfort thy rod with thy staff. Madgrad: D'OH! BMS: True, but don't forget the 28th amendment to the Consitution, the right to dance naked in the streets. RtR: Monica must've suggested that one to Bill.
Ah, I see there is a new monkey in the jungle. Good luck, Kambei, and prepare to kiss your dignity good bye. I'm not normally one to ignore the topic, but HOLY S*IT (damn, missed the vowel again) did you get a look at PSX2's specs?!!! I actually thought it was a joke at first! The hellish conglomerate of plastic and metal is almost TOO good! It's like, what, three times more powerful than DC? Not only that, but it actually will be backwards compatible with PSX games! Hoooohhho...gotta change the underwear again. Sega's going to have to haul out an indestructible chain of hits to compete with the machine's potential alone (plus it will have the entire PSX library to stand on while it gets on its feet)! Mmmmm...it was handling FFVIII cinemas in real time!!! That's just frightening. The price tag still looks a little hefty, though, and that could still be a fatal chink in its armor. One wonders what Nintendo's planning with all this new hardware being thrown about. I can't wait to see Nintendo256 and its cartridges the size of paving stones! I guess that whole "can stand up to the wrath of your little brother" philosophy becomes a moot point when the lil' booger can't even lift the damn things. Maybe they could package it as a Game/Excercise system, thus eliminating some of the stigma we gamers face from "normal" society. Infernal Spawn of Hell Madgrad: Mmmmmm...PSX2...mmmmm. Hot damn Chris I agree, and I'm willing to pay the 299 dollars to get it. THink about it: The system will be more powerful than a P3, have better graphics, a modem, and backwards compatibility with old PSX games. If you were to buy a PC with the same specs, it would cost several grand. So, the $299 price tag isn't bad at all. And I'll just trade in my old PSX plus some crappy games, and I'll have a brand new system, that will make all other systems its bitches! YEAH! Lets see Nintendo, top that. Although I must admit, I would take a perverse pleasure from seeing Nintendo make a cartridge the size of an SUV. I mean, what the hell is up with the big N? How hard is it to make CD based games? Bunch of lazy bums if ya ask me. BMS: They aren't lazy, just power hungry, they want complete control of the medium they use. I almost ruined another keyboard after seeing those specs. RtR: What do you think the "dust" cover is REALLY for Big M? And why the hell is everyone already bowing down to Sony's new machine, which is still in the twilight of its planning stage, when the DC is already OUT, PLAYABLE, and doing quite well in Japan. Better specs doesn't necessarily make a better, more successful system, let alone one that doesn't even exist yet. The SNES was superior both graphically and sound-wise to the Genesis, but the best it could ever do was pull even. And the N64 is technically superior to the PS (graphically at least), but which one's the pimp? Capische?
Well leave it to Generalismo to take something I say the wrong way. Oh well. As for those games...it may take a while. On to the shooters. I can't say that there are too many new plots out there. FPS is a kinda limited genre. But i'm certainly looking froward to Perfect Dark. GoldenEye with a chick. Can't go wrong there. And being able to aim both weapons sound pretty cool too. Captain Daniel Squires Madgrad: Watch what you say you little bitch, I'm your boss remember. I could demote your ass all the way back to private. Anyway, PD is just a gimmick. It will be just like Goldeneye, just with a chick and aliens. Proof that N64 is scrapping the bottom of the barrel for innovation. THey have run out of new ideas, and are only selling games based on past successful titles. Let the system wars begin anew.... BMS: I beg to differ, it will be Goldeneye, without plot or character restrictions. You know other stuff will be there too: new weapons, better graphics (RAM Pak), less slowdown in multiplayer, and most importantly, the most needed addition to console FPS... Co-op gameplay. YYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! KAMBEI: Perfect Dark is gonna rule all...(sorry guys no time to make funnies right now...back to the dungeon that is updating all the pages with the new layout) RtR: Damn, Big M, you sure hired one helluva work horse, keep up the good work Kamb. If its any consolation to Big N, there is one genre the N64 has schooled the PS in, and thats 1st person games. Syphon Filter merely whet my appetite... Mark: And WHAT an appetite it is, yes indeedy! RtR: SHUT THE *&$# UP! *ahem* As I was saying, bring on Perfect Dark and Winback and let "THE FUN" begin once more. 7 of 9: Mr. Madgraduate, I have been meaning to inquire: What exactly is "THE FUN"? Madgrad: Here, I'll show you. KAMBEI: !!! RtR: Please Madgrad, not in front of the new guy.
I feel like being on topic today. The next FPS should be the first FPS RPG. In which the FBI and the CIA go against NATO and you can try to get the UN on your side but DARE won't let you do drugs. Also, here are your presents!! Madgrad: All of the left over Sweet n' sour sauce from my quest. BMS: You get a choice of either the intern-maker 1000, or the Gordita-maker 5999 Mark: A brand new Volkswagen Beetle RtR: Lifetime membership to Jenny Craig, or a lifetime supply of whup ass. Hasno: You get an inflate... Oh, your dead, I forgot... Kambei: Since you're the new guy, I will let you carry on a tradition, a sacred Ultra Gameplayer's (Bill's) tradition, if you go into this box just sitting here on the roof, everyone will like you... Well, that's it, see you lay-tar Gamer X Madgrad: Yeah, I will use the sauce for....special....purposes. BWAHAHAHAHAH! Ahem, I do remember a couple of FPS RPGS. Strife for the PC was one, and Daggerfall really was a bit of an FPS in its own right. The espionage field should lend itself well to such an idea. Mark: YES!!! Although, I'm not too sure a FPS RPG would really work. Unless you get good old ID and *ahem* Square working on it together. Even then, little blocky anime charcters toting guns, spewing dialogue about how the regret killing doesn't sound appealing. Thanks for the Bug, X, I love it. YAY! Drive all around in my new Bug! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BMS: I want the intern maker!!!! I want the intern maker!!! It does have an character edit mode doesn't it? Make my own interns and wrassal'!!! RtR: Yeah, a new FPS RPG would be nice. A few years ago, I thought King's Field's success would start a new trend in next-gen console RPGs. Instead we had to settle for "crap" like Xenogears and Final Fantasy VII. Y..yeah, wh..who needs T..T..T..Tifa...mmmmm...Tifa... BMS: Uhh, on second thought Rags, mebbe you could use this more than I...The Tifa model is already programmed on the quickdial.
Hey guys, Matt from UGPO here. It's been awhile, hasn't it? Just to update anyone on UGPO, yes, our replacement sucks ass, and yes, we hate them too, but what can we do. We'll be back soon with a little luck and help from the IGN team. Anyway, I only had one comment to make for now: Hasno is a dick. That's it... anyway, write ya again soon. Keep your eye out as we'll be back again, just like the New Kids On The Block, MC Hammer and.... oh wait. Nevermind. Chao, Matt, Ex-EIC of a kickass game site turned to $h!t Mark: Yeah, it's like Tito taking over for Michael. Madgrad: I have to admit, my hopes aren't that high for a new UGPO anytime soon. The odds of UGPO coming back are about the same as Lunar, Daikatana, and Messiah sticking to their current release dates. BMS: Holy crap! I thought you were dead. We didn't even have to lure you back with a "in loving memory of..." thing. Your replacements are about as funny as Bob Saget. (I know I've said this before, but I must continue in my crusade to say it over and over again.) RtR: *sniff* It's so touching when "dead" friends come BACK to visit you. And yes, enduring the new UGPO is like being strapped to a chair and forced to watch an LA Clippers game with *shudder* Carrot Top doing color commentary.
You guys are the most stupid people I have ever seen. Your lack of intelligence even rivals that of Mark Walberg. Even worse, you have way smaller p***es, I'm sure. Hey look! Its Big Fag Miguel and Fat Masterson! And MadFag is the shopper of the bunch, eh? He buy the condoms for your little fag orgies? Who wears the pants in the relationship? And your html abilities are sickening...if your frames aren't functional in the course of a week, I will personally hack your site and fix them. You all are the most pathetic losers I have EVER seen...your site is a disgrace to the whole internet and is a waste of bandwidth. Since you don't know what these terms are because you are all RETARDS, it means that you should make your page better or I will remove it personally because it is as useful as Spam at a formal reception. Your superior, Guru Mark: Huh? What was that? I couldn't hear you, your fat a** was blocking the sound waves. Madgrad: Madfag eh? I'm sorry guys, this is all my fault, truly I'm sorry. You see, guru walked in on me when I was nailing his mother, and he got upset. And judging by the reaction I got, my **** must not be too small. Hehehehhe. RtR: He wasn't too pleased when he walked out of his mom's room and into his sister's while I was, err, showing her my bandwith, which, judging by his reaction, mustn't be none too small either. At least I know SHE didn't think so;)
BMS: So, you say we're bundles of sticks? (fags) I don't understand your insult. KAMBEI: Mark Walberg rules. Anyone who can hang with God (ahem...Chow Yun-Fat) has to rule. Oh yeah, we made a new layout so shut up about the freakin frames. Hope you like it. =)
Wat iz spelchek? Pleez tel mee. Me needz two no. Bi teh whay, Suuper Mario Broz iz da bestest game ever maded. videeogamz our kewl, Darc Gremlin Mark: Spelchek is what condition your mind is in. Madgrad: aS LoNg As YoU Don'T StaRt Typing lIke tHIs, wE'll bE okaY. RtR: Spellcheck is the function in whatever word program your running which will allow you to actually READ what you've been TYPING!BMS: El gato quiere orinar y cagar. Mre heh heh!!! Topic: How do you like the new format? |
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