-Evile Big Miguel Sanchez and the Evil Madgrad
He he ho ho, I have the ultimate ultra weapon for EVIL-MADGRAD to use, its called the Annoying Aunt Who Is Always Pinching Your Cheeks Ray. And, to make sure no paper maps come out, I have destroyed all of the trees and will sell them at a highly inflated price! That should get us some more evil funds. Also, I have gotten a legion of Beanie Babies and Teletubbies for some more random bad guy battles.
-Evil Gamer X and the Evil ANSG League
Evile BMS: Gwah hah hah! Teletubbies. Gwah hah hah! Evile in it's purest form.
Mark: You don't even realize that your pitiful evile plans will come to an end soon. For Ragnarok and I shall foil your plans, like all do-gooders should.
RtR: The SSGFF's Yoshis eat Teletubbies and Beanie Babies for breakfast...No they really do! Damn, you should see the food bill for this month alone, and we haven't even had the Christamas feast yet!
Evil Madgrad: Yes, yes Evil BMS. This weapon is true evil, as I have felt its effects many times before. And little does Mark know that he can not defeat me! The fact is simple, since he speaks, he can not be the main character. BWHAHAHAH!
Hasno: Teletubbies? Nothing a 400-foot Barney wouldn't fix...
Why did you have to become evil? I guess it is my divine destiny to take you guys down. So I created the ultimate weapon: The Behemoth Weapons Platform Class Satellite, The Messiah. Using pictures of JJJ nude with tube socks, an energy converter, and a laser firing device, this satellite can decimate an entire acre of land and everything on it by firing a bolt of pure energy in laser form. It also has Anti-Gear cannons, rows of scatter guns, Space-to- Land Missiles, Space-to-Air Missiles, Space-to-Sea Missiles, Space-to-Space Missiles, Cruise Missiles, Ballistic Cannons, Beam Lasers, Ion Turrets, an Emergency Countermeasure System (which dispels most attacks), a powerful communications system, 6 super-computer processors with system specs that rivals anything ever created, smart programming that could not be infected by even the most malignant computer virus (how is it gonna get up there anyway?), optical systems that could read a newspaper in the bottom of the ocean, targeting systems with an accuracy of 2.5 cm (maximum distance it will be off by), insulated shielding (absorbs all energy and heat weapons), powerful rocket propulsion that can go to speeds of up to 500,000 miles per hour, and armor plating that could survive an impact from a meteor. Also, it could last 3 and a half decades without maintenance. This space program is supported by NASA, the Pentagon, the CIA, and ArmsTech. So basically, you guys are screwed. The only thing that can destroy it is a Type 12 shockwave, but that would destroy the entire solar system. Sure, I could kill you guys this instance, but to do that would attract too much attention. So I am going to form an army to stop you guys from taking over the world. I am accepting applications. And before you try to get a mole into my army, we have ways of filtering out your minions, so don't bother. If things get too messy, I have a button of my cell phone that automatically targets your HQ and fires. Trying to move the HQ is pointless since the Messiah automatically finds your HQ's position by listening to EVERY radio signal and monitors all Internet activity.
Isca Morinso
Winner of 6 SIBAMOTD Awards, 3 Rabid Monkey Awards, 2 Barrels of Diddly Squat,
and 2 ISILFRP Awards
RtR: Well..its good, not great. Just another RBFOWP (Really Big F***ing Orbital Weapons Platform).
Evile BMS: Gwah hah hah! Your petty attempts of foiling our evile plans of doing evile stuff are futile for I have a weapon more powerful than your Messiah device. Yes, your device is barely more powerful than our new aunt ray, but I have a secret weapon. You will meet your doom with my special "nail through a piece of wood weapon." Gwah hah hah!
Mark: Hmmmmm... that's a fairly decent weapon you got Isca. But we're on the same side here, come one, put the messiah down. You might poke someone's eye out. Besides, I am currently searching for the most powerful, and destructive weapon of all. If only I could figure out where that dang beer-guzzling Bill hid it....
EVIL-MADGRAD: So, Isca, you think that your RBFOWP is so good do you? Allow me to introduce my friend here. I am sending you a little present...oh yes..SHOWDAN will be in control of your weapons platform soon... you know who SHOWDAN is don't you Isca? MREHEHEHEHEHE! Pathetic little worm!
Hasno: Oh yeah? Well, I have a reverse Type 25 shockwave nuke bomb, which creates a rift in space and blasts a Type 25 shockwave through time inverted. I have no idea what that means either, but I'm guessing it's enough to kick your sorry ass!
You guys obviously never played Colony Wars, have you? Because in that game, the Scatter Gun kicks everyone's ass and that is the weapon that my cow is equipped with. My suggestion is to find that game, should it be either on the shelf or in the bargain bins. That game kicks ass and is so high quality, you'd feel like your having sex. Vengeance wasn't as good as the original, but is still a good game.
-Isca Morinso
Winner of 6 SIBAMOTD Awards, 3 Rabid Monkey Awards, 2 Barrels of Diddly Squat,
and 2 ISILFRP Awards
Evile BMS: Gwah hah what!?!?! A real videogame related letter?!? Double what!?! It's from Isca!?!? Holy frijoles!!! This is insane! My brain hurts! (add Mario shrinking sound here.)
Goomba BMS: GOoMbA! gOOmBa! Me want Colony Wars! GooMbA! goombA!
Mark: In fact, Isca, I've played Colony Wars multiple times on my wonderful psx. But the scatter gun is hardly as powerful as the weapon my searchings are for. Oh yes, the sword of ancient UGP lore shall be mine. I shall take control of the mighty Lizard Army, Master Bill will be proud, and so will Gazuga! So I've been reading old issues of UGP, sue me why don't you. Now where is that dang sword, I betcha Mike has it over at Babe Central. Oh, beware one and all, the wrath of Gazuga shall be unleashed upon all!
EVIL-MADGRAD: Isca you dumb f^$&! I meant that the scatter gun sucked in COntra. I loved the gun in CW, and in CWV. BTW having any problems with the CPU in your weapons platform yet? MREHEEHEH! Now to deal with Mark. I have dispatched the one thing that can capture Mark, evil naked Leah clones! he will be powerless to resist! Now I will recondition him so that he worships me. I will do this with a heavily modified dual shock controller, tapes of Buffy the Vampire SLayer, and Tomb Raider 3. Soon he will be another drone in my army! BWHAHAHAH!
RtR: Bargain bin? Hell, were still selling it USED for $30 at EB!
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