As I woke up everything looked all Nintendo 64y. (I didn't have my contacts in.) I tried to get into the bathroom to alleviate my problem, but there was bad play control. (I had just waken up.) When I finally reached my destination I put in my 4MB RAM pak and everything wasn't blurry anymore. (I put in my contacts.) After this I had to give my little brothers room an overall rating of 3. It had good graphics but the sound was terrible and the framerate was too. (He was listening to a Hanson CD, but he had some nifty posters. He also had a strobe light.) The drive to school was no fun. There was too much pop up, my brakes didn't work well, and the control was terrible. (It was foggy, I was in 67' Chevelle Malibu with almost no brake fluid, and those old cars with big engines don't handle well. Get it, just like SF Rush.) When I got to school a bunch of adventurers talked about thier quest for the sacred amber liquid. (They were going to get some beer. Nevermind, it was an RPG spoof that Bill Donahue did once.) I saw some girls and talked to them. They were all graphics and they had shallow gameplay. (They looked really good and they were... nevermind.) Being the Graphics whore I am I talked to them. (Perdy gurls are neet.) They were easy on the default difficult level, but since I'm Big M they were on the extreme difficulty level and still too easy anyway. (Umm... I guess you guys get that one and I'm not too good with the ladies.) I was doing okay and about to get a chance to win the game, but alas, the evil cheap endbosses came and stole all of the women! (EGAD! Football players!) I tried to retaliate, but my levels were too low, I must consult the great wise masters to overcome my problem and train. (They were a bunch of huge football players and to get the women back I must consult Jackie Chan to kick everyone's ass, the deceased Jimi Hendrix to work on my guitarin skills to impress the ladies, and the "Lady's Man" from Saturday Night Live to charm the women.) This rant will be concluded later. Maybe with a story.
-Big Miguel Sanchez
Email: rabideditors@hotmail.com