Hell in a Cell

Ladies,gentlemen, and Yoshi's, we here at the Rabid Monkey Gaming Site are proud to present the very first VIDOEGAME CHARACTER DEATHMATCH! Yes, here videogame characters with grudges can enter the ring and face each other. The only rule is that there are no rules, so anything goes. We are your announcers, Big Miguel Sanchez and the Madgraduate!

BigM: Well Madgrad, we certainly have a spectacular fight lined up here tonight!

Madgrad: Yes we do! In our very first match up, Lara Croft is going to settle her grudge with Tifa Lockhearyt.

BigM: Yes, each one believes that their clevage represents the most sexist portrayal of women in videogames.Oh look the contestants are entering the ring now. The referee for this fight is Mark Masterson!

Mark: Okay ladies, I want a good dirty fight, and the key to your rooms afterwards.

Big M and Madgrad: MARK!!!

Mark: Okay, ladies, get ready...3...2...1..go!

Big M: Well thats the sound of the bell, and the fighters are coming out of there corners now...

Madgrad: They are circling each other now..and oh! Tifa throws the first punch, and its a miss!

Big M: Lara sees an opening, and its a miss too. What the hell is going on?

Madgrad: Hmm, I think I see the problem. Both of them have clevage that defies the laws of physics and genetics. The size of it puts a large gap in between each fighter, and prevents them from landing a punch.

BigM: Well how will they fight?

Madgrad: Oh look, Lara has taken to the ropes!

Big M: But Tifa is on the other side of the ring! Lara can never jump that far!

Madgrad: Yes just like in the game, Lara can't gauge her jumps. Oh, Lara is down on the mat. She is dazed! Tifa is now going to the ropes!

Big M: Tifa jumps on Lara, but hits chest first and bounces!

Tifa; Aiiiiiiieeeee! Madgrad: Tifa is out of the ring! Lara is grabbing a chair and is in pursuit!

Big M: Oh dear God, this could get ugly!

Madgrad: But wait, Tifa's manager is throwing coins at her chest! They are bouncing off at supersonic speeds!

Big M: Yes, but Lara easily ducks and rolls out of the way....smack into the wall!

Madgrad: This looks like the end folks, as Tifa's manager just opened up a roll of pennies.

BigM: But wait, a figure is approaching...in a wheelchair?!?!

Madgrad: No..it cant be...its.... Larry Flint!

Larry Flint: Ladies, stop this fighting! COme over here, and I'll pay you one million dollars to appear in Hustler with each other!

Tifa: Well...

Lara: NEVER BITCH!

Big M: Someone has to get down there and get Larry out!

Madgrad: I'll go!

Big M: But your the announcer!

::Madgrad leaps out of the booth and jumps down behind Larry::

Madgrad: Only on thing can stop you, and I have it, or should I say, them...

Larry: No! Not that!

::Madgrad whips out nude photos of Monica Lewinsky and Linda Tripp!::

Larry; AARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!

Big M: This is amazing! The founder of Hustler just burst into flames! But what about the fight?

Voice: I'll handle that!

Big M: LOOK OUT MADGRAD! Its The UGPO gang!

Madgrad: Come get some! ::Madgrad puts up a valiant fight, and takes out VJ, Matt and Shael. But it all ended when Chris unleashed....THE STONE COLD FUNSTER!::

Madgrad: Uggghhhh...

Chris: Quick, get the paint! Revenge is sweet boy!

::Having knocked the Madgrad out, Chris paints his head blue, Laras red and Tifa'a yellow::

Chris: HAHAHAH! Lets see how you fair out in the JAPANESE LOVE TRIANGLE!

Madgrad: Oh no! They are both coming at me! I'll be smothered!

Lara: Hi there handsome!

Tifa: What nice legs you have!

Madgrad: Gotta think fast....quick Mark help me out!

::mark grabs a bottle of Powerade and squirts it on Madgrad's head. The beverage is so toxic that it quickly strips off the paint::

Big M: But now looks whats happened! Since the triangle was broken, space and time have been warped! Tifa and Lara arebeing sucked into nothingness!

Madgrad: THANK GOD! Now there wont be a TR4!

Mark: Blasphemy!

::Mark tackles Madgrad, and a fight breaks in the ring::

Big M: Now we turn to Hasno for a post fight analysis...

:: Camera pans in on Hasno, who is looking at slow motion shots of Tifa and Lara bouncing around the ring::

Hasno: Itchy...tasty....mmmmm...

Big M: Well, thats all for tonite folks! To recap, Madgrad killed Larry Flint, Tifa and Lara were sucked into space, and Mark is getting medival on the Madgrad for dissin' Lara! COme back next time when we have our videogame villan battle royale, and celebrity appearances!

Mark: DIE SCUM DIE!

Madgrad: I will have my revenge......

The crew of RM 2.0