15 november 1998.

so it's been a few days since i updated the ol' rant & raves. i bet you were starved for attention all this while. nono, calm down. it's all right now. i'm back. i may be very sick, but i'm still back & every little thing is going to be all right as rain.

hah. so feeling sick. i can't think of anything else to do because i can't sleep, can't eat, can't function. but i wrote some good communications today. reached out a bit. overexposed & now i'm ready to go back into the closed & mothballed world of blue.

i've been thinking lately. a dangerous combination, overexposure & thinking. can lead to incomprehensible effects. everyone slept in her room last night. it's funny, when you think aloud about how horridly pitiful some people are, & then someone says, "oh, you're jealous" & you realize that maybe a part of you would like to be as ignorantly pitiful as these few sometimes.. but then life would have no depth & that would truly be an atrocity. so no, i'm not jealous. i'm sickened.

change change change. spare some? desired? inspired? required.