further evidence.
[24 november 1998]
i'm watching jennifer love hewitt on rosie. HAH. this is like, really stupid. wow.
i went back to schoolio today. back to the old stomping grounds. back to the place where it all began & all ended. well. yes. i went over the paper & thought about how easy it would be to just fall back into that mode.. but when the bell rang, i remembered that there was that other part of high school you had to remember. whoops. ew. i don't want that. at all.
but i also realized that i don't want what i have no. this is not the school for me. it's not. i know it's not. the more southern i go i think the worse i'm off. & i won't deny what my parents keep saying, that i didn't give things a chance, that i didn't like it & had a bad attitude before i came. that's all true. i don't feel proud of the school i attend. i'm not thrilled to bits when i speak about college to other people.. & let me dispell all rumors that it's because i don't go to a big name school. uhh.. kids? james madison university is on its way up. so don't even start that crap. but i Need the big city. i need to know what it's like. goddamn money. i want to go to boston. it's in my head. i need to go to boston. i'm sorry.. i just need to. ugh. trust me.
you know when you just have it in your gut that you need to do something..? even if you don't know if it's the right thing to do.. you just need to do it to maintain that little bit of sanity you have remaining? this is it. jay asked me why i couldn't just pick up & move to london or something. well. because i don't have the support.
