your god is dead.

23 february 1999

& i don't care.

three processes of memory.
i remember waking up as a baby & rolling over to have a conversation with my teddy bear, bubba. mum wrote it on my baby calendar that he was a very good listener. i'll have to agree.

i remember sitting in a rocking chair with jess on my lap, reading to her, stuck in my arms in her pajamas with the fuzzy feet. i memorized the books & read them to my kindergarten class.

i remember sneaking under the covers of mum & da's bed, squirming & trying not to breathe. "where did shannon & jess go? oh, well, i guess i'm going to make the bed anyway." giggles. when she wouldn't make us in the bed, we would put da's pants on our head & arms through the legs, walking about like monsters.

i remember tommy kleppee on the corner of bellflower & lobelia, standing with me in front of his sister kara & ashley page who kept urging us to kiss. his lips were huge & wet. i was so embarassed, but i didn't forget to close my eyes.

i remember sitting in the gym on one of those days we didn't have to do anything with conor & jenny, reading some shakespeare. he pronounced 'gladys' like 'glad-eees.' we roared with laughter & he pretended not to feel stupid. then the next day he was the only one who cleared the highest level of the high bar & as before he walked around for his memorable pass, he squeezed my shoulder.

i remember climbing trees at bentley college in boston. cara & matt & i were perched in the tree.. me hanging upside down & they were perched on a branch. the conference coordinator walked by & looked at us like we were nuts. then he told us to get down.

the corners.

are dusty.