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i'm your paper doll. 18 february 1999. a pixie. yesterday i was fascinated by somebody else.
body has gone completely limp. don't think i could move my arms from off the keyboard. there are the random twitches & spurts & my hands are shaking but only in short tremors when i do something, like type. my head is a balloon. buhluhloo's balloon. i can't seem to get up or move. there's a towel on my head. it's a robe, right? who came up with degraded man? oof. my shoulders hurt. the blades of them, & under my arms. i don't know what that's supposed to me. is it from the machine i used at urec the other day? you have no idea what i do all night. really, you don't. "when do you study?" aha! i just dipped my head down. it was like a long fluid motion & my whole body went with it. barely avoided lurching into the keyboard. this is not the way it's supposed to happen. my foot has fallen asleep. i fear moving it for the same reason i didn't want to move my head. but that kind of moved by itself. threw off towel, stretched legs, slumped all in one swift motion. i'm going to feel it in a minute.. i'm thinking it over. my shoulders hurt on the tops now. like i need some imaginary hands to come up behind me & help me out. damn, my sister is so good at that stuff. power finger. my stomach wants to know what's going on. it's sending the throw up signals into my throat, but really, there's nothing to throw up & i'm sure that i won't. my hair is in my face now. well, it always was. but it is now too. it's getting long, quoth erin & karen. i don't Know what i want to do with it. <chop> i wish i had a pair of scissors. then maybe i could do what i wanted to it. but probably not. i see it all too clear. i really should read my communications chapter. i caught up totally last night except for the chapter that i'm supposed to have read for today. my eyelids are getting heavy but i'm positive that i should not go to sleep. i'm having visions of honey dripping down the screen. it's all over my hands, the keyboard, but i'm still rather agile with the keys. stick out my tongue, retract & smile. tilt your head back & it dribbles down your forehead, the bridge of your nose.. lick it off your upper lip. can you touch your tongue to your nose? wipe it all over your arms. mm. bathing. sticky, cement. just try to get out, the thick cake layered on the top. crust bite. too hard, but you can wiggle a little bit. you can always try to break free. |
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