you're still moving.

[25 december 1998]

i feel afloat. what's afloat? not much.

update city - i'm back & exhausted. missing people who are on vacation soon ::/glare at lake tahoe::, missing someone who died, glad to see my grandmother. but nonetheless home, tan & pissed off at disney. nice.
it's always better with the lights off. if i held my hand out in front of my face, i wouldn't see it. but could i? should i? would you? no. i didn't think much with my hands. i couldn't get things working, things moving, things gooing together like large piles of tapioca pudding gelled in a jar or canister. plopped onto someone's feast, a treat. don't feed me anymore, i'm about to blow. it's always better.
foosh. in a burst, i'm out the door & leaving you All behind in my wake. i'm sorry i didn't know i was moving so fast. but i says to m'self, self, it's a back breaking work with you doing all this thinking now. shut the fuck up.
my coherancy is at a low. i watched that one sitting, large blobs overflowing, challenging the buttons, pushing the seamed envelope. it's always better. don't scream in my ear, thanks. breakfastbrunch&lunch.
the crooz dierectah. washing over the seas i'm still imagining what it would be like to jump. to fall & break my legs on cement liquid. bury me alive, drop me from the stake & fire me into the working of the bridge. it's always better.
messages, no. messages, yes. none. call me? we'll do brunch.

weak.

bewildered.



speak to me.