[12 december 1998]
help.
hi. i'm in the middle of fucking finals. you know how you're supposed to take that, bitch. ::sob:: i hate this. i can't find my animal farm book so i'm reading it off the web & printing it out & reading it like that. gaugh. i feel like a bit shit. but anyway. i just wanted to complain. there's nothing going on today. campus is more dead than usual, which feels more like jones town than waco. gar. anyway.. i'll be in & out. PLEASE someone write me something. please inspire this uninspirational mess that is your blue. this is hardcore, damn it. jessa is seeing the whigs tonight. lucky. wah. i had some fucked up dreams & woke up to erin's computer going, "yeah, baby! yeah!" erm.. that was pleasant. austin in the morning. oof. anyway, she's not here right now which is a big plus. maybe she's sleeping or something. good. mehhhh. jessa, you suck because you don't have to go through this shit. rargh. okay. i'm going to shut the f up now. marhhh! i hope everyone else has a good day. har har. i just want to go home, man. i'm just trying to get home.
FOUR MORE FUCKING DAYS OF THIS SHIT.
there is no one there for you.
this is hardcore.
& i can't believe.
[12 december 1998, 1852]
four days until hell is over.
you know, i've been thinking. it's not that i'm really like, "DAMN IT finals suck." i'm just more into getting the fuck out of school. so i can have my car. so i can amount to something. so i can just sit at home with my computer & make cookies with my mom & hang out on the beach doing absolutely nothing with absolutely no one while my sister is sitting on the beach doing something random. yum.
NCTNHA.
what is going on with that, dude? INATIA. & that goes in there. do i sound bitter? well, i just might. moof. so i'm supposed to give a fuck about something right around now. whoops. guess that's a lost cause. har har. i love bagpipes, ladies & gentlemen. i'm going outside, mother. it's rainy. there have been cop lights flashing on the highway for about thirty minutes. i'm a little curious as to what the hell is going on. probably nothing interesting. maybe they're having a pork roast. mm? it's a possibility. i really want to go to new york today. i really need to go north, ladies & gentlemen. i can't imagine going anymore south. what the hell is there that's progressive in the south? i don't like atlanta & i'm not a fan of florida per se.. & we're not even going to discuss the options of middle america. don't be a sick fool. don't be a wiley little fucker.
inaita. nctnha.
hear? i spoke with her today. perhaps i shouldn't give her a sex. i've never really thought about the sex of it. to see if i could feel. mmm. hello, dear. catch my eye, a furtive glance, a seeping stare/state of mind. it's where my eyes stay. transfixed. i.. today. yes. stacy next door is absolutely miserable. there's a click thing in our little hall. i feel so fucking bad because i'm supposed to get shit for kendra & i haven't. nerrrr. i guess i should have done something about that. i knew it wasn't a good idea for me to get involved. mrr. maybe i should just tell lauren to count me out. or maybe i'll just put some stupid shit in her stocking. my sweetest friend.
