a box full of your toys.

28 february 1999.

& you know what else.

the child is home.

i sat with my head in my hands on saturday night & resolved that i hated my life. but then it turned out that i got it on with josh & things weren't so bad after all.

just kidding.

i'm cold. i'm also hungry. hungry to the point of pain. so i'm not exactly sure if it's hunger or just.. my stomach on protest. i can't tell what it is because i've eaten, & eaten well. what's the connection? but there certainly a pain inside my stomach that's urging me to shove something in my mouth. fixation, fixation. mm. crows. caaaah. i want a pen top or something. something to chew.. where is something to chew..

do you believe what i sing now? i want a girl who laughs for no one else. i want to come home & fall into you. you need a guardian. guide dog. tell me about the clouds in your eyes. tell me what you see beyond the cliffs & slopes. i was making movements with my eyes. i would reconsider my field of vision & replace the blind spots with your shadow. it scared me. but i felt like i needed to run around for a while.

your shadow invading my eyes. a dimensional figure that i can't cut in half except with my eyelids. if i walk towards the form, i can't walk through it. it just stops me. short. long.

solidify.
solidity.
solidify.

this wheel is flat.

& you know what else.