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yeeeooow! 15 february 1999. i'm right behind.
well hooray for professors who consistantly cancel class. loverly!
ugh.
this is two hours later. i'm Exhausted. not because i haven't been sleeping & my body has no fucking clue what to do with itself. not because i've been running around all day on foot, trying to get from class to class & back to the post office & haven't eaten anything but those disgusting cereal bars that i thought would taste good at first & didn't once it hit my stomach. now i'm sitting here, cringing, talking to jimmer, thinking about crawling into bed to cry for a while & then resurface to study for psych. but i don't want to hide in bed. i want erin to be gone again, i want to be at my desk with my psychology work done, jason at my door with a rose & justin on the computer talking about something i don't remember but for its importance. i'm in a lull. we've been trying to reach you. lighten up, squirt. i'm exhausted because my brain doesn't want to sit at the computer any more. i want to be outside doing something, rather than worrying about my stupid psychology test that i have to take at eight in the morning. sigh. i want to be curled up in the back of a dodge daytona with pizza & radiohead in my ears & my fingers drumming on the back of the driver's seat. but i don't have the energy to wish myself there. to lure it in. i'm exhausted because i miss audrey, wish she would come home soon. exhausted because i wish i was with my mom & dad & sister & dog over at grandma's house picking at more food than anyone has ever seen on a table at once. mm. i want to be able to write something that isn't stupid, drivel, rubbish. i don't feel anything in my fingers. you've been caught in the landslide. a revolution of sorts. so i'm wondering if i'm even fucking communicating anything anymore or just simply complaining to the dead air. think i'll go fry some eggs. shade. send me my ticket please. i'm ready to go. i want my paper back with an a on it. sigh. i'm in a lull. |
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