It happened again. My parents kicked me offline early. I hurt badly. Tonight was good at first but then it got
depressing... I found consolence in 3 very high and gentle persons who I owe my life to, but I just felt so down; they
all seemed to speak in a foreign language sometimes, like they weren't all there as they typed. And then the wrath of
my dad came; no man to man explanation, no give, no slack, no listening, just shut it Off. He doesn't understand what he
does to me when this happens, especially when I am feeling depressed. Right now I physically hurt as well. I feel as
though someone has pierced me with a spear right through my stomach.
     The way he yanks me out of this is like instantly yanking the only one thing that I find comfort in away from
me forever. I needed it tonight. I can't talk to my parents about this; they think that it's just bull crap and that I'm
just a naive teenager who is just growing up. I have feelings and opinions and knowledge of my own too, you know... there
is truth in what I'm learning! I have seen it first hand, and deep deep down inside there is a stirring towards this. This
idea of the world and humans and all of nature and all matter and all stars, it all builds for unification through the
spirit, thus creating one large Utopia of a universe and life; it's a gift that God has granted to us if we wish to
look into it and explore his creation with it. Why beat it down? So what if it isn't true, what's wrong with learning of
it? I am grown! I can fend for myself the evils of the world, I don't know of one situation where I haven't been able to
hold my own.
    The wrath seems to come down the harshest and earliest whenever I'm feeling depressed or gloomy too, and this is why
I say that fate hates me; I really do this it does. Does anyone else have a better explanation?? I'll end this now and
try to pick up from suffering...