Chapter 1

~ September 1999 ~

J.C. closed his eyes as he tried to shut out the scene in front of him. He could fight the tears no longer and he let them fall, slowly at first; then his teardrops turned into full out, gut-wrenching sobs. He was crying out, fully showing himself and his emotions for the first time since the accident.

The rain was pouring now, much harder than the light sprinkling when the memorial had begun. The rainy Floridian weather did not keep family and friends from attending. Nor did it keep the hundreds of fans outside the church from paying their last respects. Outside the church, as well as outside the office of Trans-Con records, fans of all genders, all ages had been leaving flowers, teddy bears, North Carolina wear and notes of condolence for Justin's family. Inside, the remaining boys took turns speaking about their counterpart, their friend. J.C. listened as Chris, Justin's truest and closest friend out of all of them, spoke, not bothering to hide his own tears. J.C. couldn't even remember what he had said up there. He knew that whatever he said, he said with no emotion. While all the other boys and their families and their friends cried, J.C. tried to be the one they all could lean on, the one who would keep them all together. And here, finally, hearing Justin's mom talk about her son, about his life, about what lay ahead for him, "And I know in my heart, that Justin will still be alive inside of me and inside of all who knew him, all who ever loved him." Here, J.C. finally broke down and wept for his friend and wept for himself, for he knew that a part of him had passed with Justin and that it could never be recovered again.

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She was there, at the funeral. J.C. blinked through his tears as he remembered the evens of the past months. He felt remorse, he felt guilty. He couldn't believe that he and Justin had let something so unimportant, so miniscule, get between them. But for so long, she was all he could think of. And all Justin could think of. And now this.

~ July 1997 ~

J.C. and Justin had met Liz at the same time, the same place. On a plane ride a couple of years ago; she was flying to Florida to check out the college she was going to in the fall. The group hadn't yet become popular, and they were unnoticed by most everyone on the flight. She was 3 years younger than J.C., 2 years older than Justin was. When they had boarded the plane, Justin had found her sitting in his seat.

"Excuse me, but I think you are sitting in my seat." He tried to explain to her. She was a small girl and only took up a bit of the large first class seat.

"No." She took out her ticket. "See this is seat 8A."

"But," Justin started, as he took out his pass, "look, mine says 8A also."

The girl took a look at the ticket and chuckled. "I'm sorry, but your seat is 6A"

Justin looked at his ticket. There it was, 6A. "Oh. My bad."

J.C. and the rest of the guys had been listening behind Justin and proceeded to crack up, teasing Justin mercilessly.

"Actually," J.C. started, "you're my seat buddy." He said to the pretty girl, "I'm in seat 8B"

The rest of the guys and their manager took their seats in the rows in front. For the remainder of the flight from California to Florida, J.C. talked to this girl, whose name he discovered, was Elizabeth. He found out about how she was from San Francisco, about how she was planning to go to the University of Florida that fall, about how she had a cousin in the area, about how she wanted to be a teacher, about how she loved football. He told her about the group, who they were, where he was from. He told her about the Mickey Mouse Club, about his girlfriend Nikki. He told her his dreams for the group, his dreams for himself. They were both surprised when the captain announced the decent into the Orlando area. At the luggage terminal, they exchanged phone numbers.

"Let's get together sometime." J.C. suggested.

"Okay, we'll see." She said as she watched the group leave the terminal.

J.C wanted to call her and get together, but for some reason, he never did.

But then again, she never did either.