A week had passed.

Our tour with *Nsync was over. We were now heading over to Europe for a bunch of crap that we really don't have to do but are going anyway. Three whole months away. I don't think I could take it. I glad to be following my dream of singing. I'm just not happy about knowing that Matt is still most likely following us and the guys won't be with us anymore.

We were on our way to the airport. I tried my best to keep from crying. Over all what's happened, and leaving Justin, and knowing that Matt is still out there probably following us. I was scared to death to leave.

The day was seeming to match my mood. It was cold and rainy out. We all grabbed our bags and made our way to the right terminal.

One good thing though, Ali offered Dorothy Amy's old job. So Dorothy was traveling with us as our costume designer.

Justin had also arranged to get more security for us. He knew I was terrified to leave.

Slumping down in one of the chairs, we all waited for our flight to be called. We would be spending hours on a flight to London. Justin sat beside me and took my hand. I looked down trying not to cry. He lifted my chin up. " I know you don't want to go Jen. But the sooner you leave the sooner you'll be back."

" The sooner we leave the sooner Matt finds us. Plus we'll be gone for THREE months. And we won't even be on tour with you guys when we get back. "

" I know this is hard. I wish there was something else I can do."

" Just hold me." I answered leaning my head on his shoulder. He gently rubbed my back.

Within seconds, " Flight 209 to London, England now boarding." Sara, Ashley, and Dorothy stood. I didn't move. They all gathered their bags and said good-bye. " Jen, you comin?" Ashley asked. I stood up. " Yeah. I'll be there in a second."

I gathered my bags and turned to Justin. " I'll miss you." He pulled me in a hug.

" I'll miss you, too." Tears spilled down my cheeks. " Justin?" He stared into my eyes. " I love you," I whispered. Our lips met. It would be our last kiss for a whole three months. Our last moment together. He pulled back and traced his finger down my cheek. " I love you more." I smiled through my tears. " Bye." Walking down the hall I stopped before turning the corner. Justin was still watching me. " I love you," I mouthed to him. " I love you." He mouthed back. I waved and stepped onto the plane.

* * * * *

The first month we had no problem. No sign of Matt at all. I called Justin on a twice a day bases. I missed him terribly but I was holding up.

But by the second month we had problems. We started receiving anonymous phone calls. You know when someone calls and just sits on the line without saying anything and then hangs up. We still had about a month to go.

" Jenny, mail for you!!!" Sara yelled. " Gosh dang girl I'm right here." I said walking about behind her. Sara handed me a big envelope. I squealed. " Its from Justin." I sat down on the couch and ripped it open. A video tape fell out with a two page letter. Picking up the letter I read through it. He talked about touring and how Jc is always talking about Dorothy.

From what I've seen, Dorothy and Jc talk on the phone almost as much as Justin and I.

Finishing the letter, I picked up the video tape and popped it into the VCR. Joey, of course, was the wonderful camera man. I pressed PLAY. All four guys showed up on the screen. ( Joey's behind the camera hence there is only four) " Hey guys!! Come watch this." They all piled on the couch beside me and we continued watching the tape. We laughed our heads off for ten minutes straight.

Then something happened. Towards the end of the tape, Joey got some footage of a couple making out on the stage. First I thought it was Lance, from far away.You know the blonde hair. Joey went in closer with the camera.

" O-h-m-i-g-o-s-h." I said slowly. It wasn't Lance. It was Justin!! " He rips my heart out and stomps on it once again," I shouted going into my room and slamming the door. Picking up the closest thing next to me I threw it against the wall.

It just happened to be a framed picture of Justin and I on our first date. We had gone to the beach. It was few weeks before we started touring and we were stuck in Orlando learning our new choreography. We drove for a few hours to a deserted beach. We spent the whole day there. It was a great first date.

I fell to the floor and started sobbing uncontrollably. There was a knock at the door. " I just wanna be alone," I yelled. " Phone for you. Want me to tell him your busy?" Ashley's worried voice came through the door. Opening the door, she handed me the phone. " It's Justin." she whispered and then walked into the other room.

" Hello?"

" Hey baby."

" Oh don't even!" I screamed into the phone still crying.

" What's the matter?" he said concerned.

" Well, lets just say you should have watched the video tape before you sent it. Thanks for once again ruining my life!" I yelled clicking the phone off. I threw myself onto my bed and cried some more.

I couldn't stay here any longer. Putting my coat on I left the hotel. It was stupid of me to not take a bodyguard, but I just wanted to be alone.

"I won't go far though, I mean I am in a foreign country," I said to myself. I entered a little coffee shop and took the back booth. I just wanted to sit for awhile.

" What would you like?" a waiter with a heavy British accent asked.

"Um.....decafe."

" Is that all?" I nodded. " For now." He left.

" How could he do this to me again?" I thought. " Maybe the first time was innocent. It was Amy. But this time it was for real. Why does he enjoy breaking my heart repeatedly? I don't even know why I go back to him. Because I love him. Thats why. I love him, and I'll always love him. But why? So for the past two months had he been cheating? Everytime we talked on the phone, he was seeing another girl? Gosh, why is this happening to me?"

" Here you go," the waiter had come back with my coffee. " Thanks." Cupping it in both hands, I looked at the clock on the wall. I had been gone for almost an hour. " I better get back," I said thinking out loud. " They'll be worried."

Leaving money on the table, I grabbed me coffee and left. It wasn't a very long walk back to the hotel. The whole way, though, I felt like someone was following me. I looked back. There we're tons of people crowding the streets. I shrugged my shoulders. " Oh well." Sliding my key card through the slought I opened my hotel door. " Where have you been?" Sara came running up to me. " We we're so worried. One minute you were in your room and the next minute you were gone. We sent security out looking for you."

" I-I sorry. I didn't realize--" Ashley cut me off. " Since we've been getting the phone calls from Matt."

" I'm really sorry."

" Well, Ali's really mad. She said you should have known better then to go off without a bodyguard. Just be glad she isn't here to yell at you. She had a last minute meeting."

" I know and I'm really sorry. I just needed some time to think about everything that has happened." Dorothy put I comforting arm around me. " I'm really sorry about what happened with Justin and all. " I patted her hand. " Thanks, but its not your fault. But I don't wanna talk about it." I went over to the VCR and took out the tape. Grabbing a sheet of paper, I wrote him a quick note:

Watch the tape this time. You might find something interesting towards the end. Like maybe my boyfriend making out with some chick on the stage. Thanks alot Justin. My confidence and trust in you is now completely shot. You blew it this time. Everything happens for a reason. Maybe this is our sign that we shouldn't be together anymore.

Putting this with the tape back into the envelope, I marked it " Retuen To Sender." " We need to have this mailed," I said putting it on the table. Walking back into my room I shut the door. Laying on my bed, I closed my eyes. The least I could do is get some sleep. Tomorrow was a jam-packed day. We had a radio show, autograph signings and a mini concert at the mall, and I had to go to the doctor to get my cast removed from my arm. I might as well get some sleep. Not possible. I kept thinking about Justin and how he betrayed me, but htis time it for real. I tossed and turned. It was going to be (another) a sleepless night.