"...I was one of the most sophisticated girls in Stoneybrook Middle School. I am also an artist-- I look at everything with an artist's eye..." 'Wow... amazing... I love these girls!' Joe Bloggs closed the book and admired the cover of the lastest copy of 'The Babysitters' Club Mystery #9--Claudia and the case of the missing oreos'.
He glanced down at the plastic bag which was once filled with grapes, 2 sad little ones left in there gleamed in the sun. Joe picked both of them up and tossed them in the air, catching them squarely in his mouth. "Two points!" Joe raised his fists triumphantly as he chewed on the juicy grapes. He felt so proud of himself.
"Irma, I'm home!" Joe yelled as he slammed the door behind him. He wasn't married, and he didn't have a girlfriend living with him. In fact, no one lived with him. He just liked yelling that everytime he got back and it had become a habit. It took away loneliness and fright of entering an empty house. He looked into his mailbox and pulled out a stack of mail. As he padded barefeet into his living room, he flicked the TV on and plopped down on the couch. He opened the first envelope--gas bill. Second envelope, electric bill. Joe frowned. No letters from his friends? That was strange. The next envelope had a red border, and was written in cursive. Ah ha! He tore it open excitedly.
Dear Joe, how've you been? Why don't we get together sometime and have lunch? Haven't seen you in quite a while man. Call me! Joey.
Of course this wasn't from his friend Joey. He didn't even have a friend called Joey. In fact, he didn't have any friends. He knew some people and he had some aquaintances but only because he was forced to sit with them in the cafeteria at work. In his spare time, he liked writing letters to himself. He found it thrilling to receive a stack of mail when he came home from a hard day's work.
Flicking through several channels, Joe got bored. He was feeling hungry too. He walked into the kitchen and pulled out a basket of grapes. He loved grapes. He carried it back to the living room and started munching on them. The juice squirted between his teeth and dribbled down his chin. He spat the seeds out aiming for the plate on the coffee table, but missed, and landed them on the carpet instead. All cool guys spit their seeds out, thought Joe.
"With the Suzanne Clip, you can turn an ordinary scarf into... an elegant bow!" Joe was intrigued. His future girlfriend would love this. He didn't know any girls, but he was sure he'd meet one someday. He reached for a grape with his eyes glued to the screen. Huh? Joe thought he had just felt the grape squirm in his hand. No, it couldn't be, he thought as he stared straight at the grape. He brought it closer to his mouth, and as he watched, he saw the grape bounce like a helpless fish freshly caught from the sea. Ahhh!!! Joe was so startled he dropped the grape on the floor, tripped while he was walking backwards, and fell on his head.
