Jimmy's eyes opened. "It seems they've been more open than shut tonight," he thought. Many nights were restless like this. There were too many memories turning over in his mind again and again. He'd replay events in his head, imagining how different outcomes would have changed his life. If things had turned out differently, maybe he wouldn't feel surrounded by darkness and shadows. At times he felt as though he were standing on the edge of an abyss, about to fall off and disappear to where no one could ever reach him. He knew that it was futile to think about all his regrets and he tried to stop the dark thoughts from overtaking him. Maybe things weren't really as bad as they seemed at night time.

He looked around and saw the silhouettes of his friends in the darkness of the bunkhouse. He heard Cody snoring beneath him. "No wonder I can't sleep," he grunted softly to himself, but he knew that it was these people, his friends, that kept pulling him back from the dark side. When he made stupid decisions, they understood. When he got mad, they forgave him. When he ran into trouble, they followed. They were more than just friends, they were family. He would gladly give his life for theirs and he knew that they would do the same. He wondered how such a bunch of remarkable people ever came to surround him. Then there was his job. It suited him and gave him a sense of purpose. He suddenly realized that if it hadn't been for all the past events in his life, he never would have come to Sweetwater and he never would have known them.

Jimmy noticed a few rays of light seeping under the crack of the door. He leapt quietly off the bunk and ventured outside. Dawn was his favorite time of day. He sucked in deep breaths of cold air that made him feel light-headed. He sat down on the step of the bunkhouse and continued thinking. He knew the others had had difficult lives too. Just as difficult as his and maybe even more so but they still managed to stay in good humor. So why couldn't he? "I mean look at Lou," he thought. She was all alone and had to live with the guilt of leaving her brother and sister. She had to deny her femininity and try and make her way in a man's world. When he compared his situation to Lou's, he knew he had no right to complain. Ahhh Lou. It seemed that barely an hour went by where he didn't think of her. His feelings for her had been creeping up on him bit by bit and before he could stop it, he found that he was in love with her. There were many reasons why he shouldn't be but he couldn't help it. She was remarkable. He longed to hold her and be close to her the way Kid was. He longed to....

He felt a hand touch his shoulder and he quickly turned around to see who had interrupted his thoughts. "Lou, you scared me," he said with a touch of guilt in his voice. He was relieved when he realized that she couldn't possibly know what he had been thinking.

"How could little ol' me scare Wild Bill Hickok?" she asked playfully. "Besides, you would have heard me if you weren't so lost in thought. What were you thinkin' about anyway?"

He caught himself staring at her. She was wearing somewhat tight men's underclothes and he felt something stirring within him. He cursed himself silently and hoped she hadn't noticed his strange reaction. "Louise", he said, unaware that he was using her feminine name, "you really don't want to know what I've been thinking about."

Lou wondered exactly what he meant by that. Was he flirting? She also wondered why she had gotten up and followed him when she saw him leave the bunkhouse. "Try me", she said.

"I was just thinkin' what a lucky man I am", he told her, and he meant it. Despite all the bad things that had happened so far in his life, he had found someone he truly loved. Even if she didn't know it, and even if she didn't feel the same way, he felt blessed that he didn't have to go through life never knowing what love was.

Lou sat down beside him and looked at him, trying to figure him out. She was desperately wondering what he was really thinking. She'd been wondering about him quite a bit lately. She had some suspicions that maybe he felt something for her and just wasn't letting on. She had noticed him staring at her when he thought she wasn't looking but it was hard to tell whether or not she was imagining things. Jimmy was a mysterious man. Tough and gentle and the same time. Lou knew that her feelings for him were changing and she was becoming more and more attracted to him but she didn't know what to do about it. All she knew was that she liked to be in his presence, and she was in his presence right now. "You know Jimmy, I feel pretty lucky too". He looked over at her and smiled. They sat side-by-side in silence and watched the new day awakening.