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Tanya's Note: this poem is a bit suggestive and may not be appropriate for children

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Green Eggs and Ham

by Ann

I whipped up another poem for y'all. It's a parody of Dr Seuss's "Green Eggs and Ham". It probably won't make sense unless you are very familiar with the book, also it's not suitable for children.
NOTES: YELLOW denotes that Jimmy is speaking. A non-Jimmyholic is speaking the rest of the time.

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JIMMY WHAM BAM

The Man Jimmy
The Man Jimmy
Jimmy the Man


NON JIMMYHOLIC:
That Jimmy-the-Man
That Jimmy-the-Man!
I do not like
that Jimmy-the-Man.

Would you like
some Jimmy wham bam?

I would not like some,
Jimmy-the-Man.
I do not like
Jimmy wham bam.

Would you like some
Here or there?

I would not like some
here or there.
I would not like some
anywhere.
I do not like
Jimmy wham bam.
I do not like it,
Jimmy-the-Man.

Would you like some
in the bunkhouse?
What about while humming Strauss?


I do not like it
in the bunkhouse.
I do not like it
while humming Strauss.
I do not like it
here or there.
I do not like it
anywhere.
I do not like Jimmy wham bam.
I do not like it, Jimmy-the-Man.

Would you like it
in a box?
What about when wearing socks?

Not in a box.
Not wearing socks.
Not in the bunkhouse.
Not humming Strauss.
I would not like it here or there.
I would not like it anywhere.
I would not like some Jimmy wham bam.
I do not like it, Jimmy-the-Man.

Wouldn't you? Couldn't you?
on a bar!
Just feel my pecs
Here they are.

I would not,
could not,
On a bar.


You may like it.
You will see.
You may like it
in a tree?

I would not like it in a tree.
I would not, could not in a tree.
Not on a bar! You let me be.

I do not like it in a box.
I do not like it wearing socks
I do not like it the bunkhouse
I do not like it while humming Strauss
I do not like it here or there.
I do not like it anywhere.
I do not like Jimmy wham bam.
I do not like it, Jimmy-the-Man.

A train! A train!
A train! A train!
Could you, would you
on a train?


Not on a train! Not in a tree!
Not in a bar Jimmy! Let me be!
I would not, could not, in a box.
I could not, would not, wearing socks.
I will not do it in the bunkhouse
I will not do it while humming Strauss.
I will not do it here or there.
I will not do it anywhere.
I do not like it, Jimmy-the-Man.

Say!
In the dark?
Here in the dark!
Would you, could you, in the dark?

I would not, could not,
in the dark.


Would you, could you,
in the rain?

I would not, could not, in the rain.
Not in the dark. Not on a train,
Not on a bar, Not in a tree.
I do not like you Jimmy you see.
Not in the bunkhouse. Not in a box.
Not humming Strauss or when wearing socks.
I will not do it here or there.
I would not like it anywhere!

You would not like some Jimmy wham bam? :-(

I do not
like you,
Jimmy-the-Man.


Could you, would you,
in a coat?

I would not,
could not.
in a coat!

Would you, could you,
on a boat?

I could not, would not, on a boat.
I will not, will not, in a coat.
I will not do it in the rain.
I will not do it on a train.
Not in the dark! Not in a tree!
Not on a bar! You let me be!
I do not like it in a box.
I do not like it wearing socks.
I will not do it in the bunkhouse.
I will not do it while humming Strauss.
I do not like it here or there.
I do not like it ANYWHERE!


I DO NOT like
Jimmy wham bam!
I DO NOT like it,
Jimmy-the-Man.

You do not want it.
So you say.
Try it! Try it!
And you may.
Try me and you may I say.

Jimmy!
If you will let me be,
I will try it.
and you will see.

*THE FOLLOWING STANZA IS CENSORED FOR BEING TOO SIZZLING*

[blushing]Say!
I like Jimmy wham bam.
I do!! I like it, Jimmy-the-Man!
And I would do you in a boat!
And I would do you in a coat...
And I would do you in the rain.
And in the dark. And on a train.
And on a bar. And in a tree.
You are so good, SO GOOD you see!
So I will do you in a box.
And I will do you wearing socks..
And I will do you in the bunkhouse.
And I will do you while humming Strauss.
And I will do you here and there.
Say! I will do you ANYWHERE!

I do so like
Jimmy wham bam!
Thank you!
Thank you,
Jimmy-the-Man!


Ann