Questionable Quotes

• "Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. YES is the answer."
  
• "I'm not as think as you drunk I am."
  
• Get thee down. Be thou funky."
  
• "I'm not wearing any underwear.....Film at 11."
  
• "I'm not cheap, but I'm on special this week."
  
• "Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself."
  
• "You know, the world does not revolve around me, but everyone else seems to think so."
  
• "If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame."
  
• "Budget: a method for going broke methodically."
  
• "Xerox does it again and again and again and ....."
  
• "How much sin can I get away with and still go to heaven?"
  
• "How's my driving? http://www.BYTE-ME.com"
  
• "Pity the poor egg. It only gets laid once."
  
• "Assassins do it from behind."
  
• "Love is a sensation caused by temptation. A guy sticks his location in a girl's destination to increase the population for the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?"
  
• "HELP WANTED: many positions available"
  
• "Chastity is curable.....if detected early."
  
• "A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."
  
• Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence."
  
• "I have never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
  
• "I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it."
  
• "Why is it that when we bounce a check, the bank charges us more of what they already know we don't have any of?"
  
• "I have heard it all. I have seen it all. I have done it all. I just don't remember it all."
  
• "WANTED: meaningful overnight relationship"
  
• "My girlfriend said I never listen to her.....at least that's what I think she said."
  
• "If you do not believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut."
  
• "Five days a week, my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park."
  
• "I plead contemporary insanity."
  
• "A hard-on does not count as personal growth."
  
• "I'm just working here until a fast-food job opens up."