If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.
Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings."
Practice Safe Sex. Go Screw Yourself.
"Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point."
If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.
Thank You For Smoking Pot.
Don't Be Sexist - Broads Hate That
Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!
Constipated people don't give a crap.
If you drink, don't park--accidents cause people.
Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
My kid got your honor roll student pregnant.
To all you virgins: thanks for nothing.
If at first you don't succeed...blame someone else and seek counseling.
Horn broken...watch for finger.
Get Off My Ass Asswipe
You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me
The Earth Is Full - Go Home
I Have The Body Of A God......Buddha
This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me
So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
Illiterate? Write For Help
Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit
I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person
You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?
It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now
I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere
Seen on the back of a biker's vest - - If you can read this,the bitch fell off
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong...
Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
Remember folks: Stop lights timed for 35mph are also timed for 70mph!!
(Reported to be seen on a restaurant) GUYS: No shirt, no service
GALS: No shirt, no charge
If walking is so good for you, then why does my mailman look like Jabba the Hut?
Necrophillia: That uncontrollable urge to crack open a cold one.
Body by Nautilus; brain by Mattel
Boldly going nowhere
CAT: The other white meat
Heart Attacks...God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends
Honk if you've never seen an Uzi fired from a car window
How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, riddle them with bullets
Money Isn't Everything, But it Sure Keeps the Kids In Touch