You've all been wondering, come on, you know it, what would happen if NSYNC on the Titanic? Who would get left behind? Who would get on the lifeboats? Who would be the one who saves Rose from the icy water? If you never saw the movie Titanic, you might not get the parts between a certain person and Rose, but if you kind of know what the movie was about, you might get it.
Also Staring: Carson From TRL as Rose's fiance 98* as the guys who make the ship crash! Laura (me)BSBbaby506@aol.com in a guest appearance {I don't like Chris! I stress this I don't!}
-------------------------------------------------------All the boys are getting ready to board the Titanic. They all have their first class tickets in hand, ready to board, their manager tells them one last thing.
Manager: OK, Chris, I'm putting you in charge of Justin. He must be watched at all times.
Chris: Why not make JC do it? He could be the shit outta anyone. Now I know why everyone thinks I'm gay, cause you always put me in charge of the gay boy himself!
Justin: Hey, yo, I like dem awesome room assignments they gave us yo!
Chris: (under his breath) I don't.
JC snickers
Joey gives a small laugh.
Lance: Well, this will give me a chance to spend time with my best friend, Justin.
Justin: But Lance, I thought we wuz gonna--
Lance: Shut up Justin.
On the ship...
Joey: Me and JC are sleeping in this room, and you and Lance and gay boy get to sleep next door.
Justin: Did I just here someone say my name yo?
JC: No gay boy, shut up.
Chris: Why exactly do we have to ride on this stupid ship anyways? Can't we just ride in a plane like normal people?
JC: No, because it's 1912 and there aren't any airplanes that can takes us over water this far, and we have a concert in New York to be at.
Chris: Oh yeah, that's right!
Lance: Well, let's all get unpacked, and then we can enjoy our stay on the ship.
Chris: I get the feeling some of us will enjoy it more than others.
Justin: What you be sayin foo?
Chris: Shut up gay boy.
Later, the night of the ship sinking (yeah, I know, I totally ruined everything by skippin to the end)... In the dining room, Justin and Lance are in a secluded area, where it's really dark and no one can tell who they are.
Justin: I'm happy yo we finally gots some time to be alone yo Lance. (takes Lance's hands into his)
Lance: Me too Justin
Justin: You know why I love you foo...
Lance: No, why, tell me.
Justin: Because you look like a girl. A really pretty girl.
Lance: You really think so? I've tried so hard
Justin: I knows it. I knows you just front dat 'Big Ego' thang. Inside you's a really stupid guy yo that does whats he does because people scream when he does it.
Lance: You know me inside and out Justin. I'm so glad you care about me. I love you Justin.
Justin: I love you foo. (sings) "I never thought that love could feel like this.. and you changed my world with just one kiss... how could it be that right here with me there's an angel it's a miracle"
Lance: Oh Justin, you know I tear up everytime you sing that song...
Meanwhile, on the boat deck
Chris: (he's talking to himself, because I couldn't express his thoughts any other way) Well, at least Justin went to eat dinner with Lance. Finally, an hour without him! (Sees JC) Hey JC, wassup?
JC: Yo man, I just saw this fine girl, and her name is Rose. Exept some guys told me she's real high class, you know, and her mom hates singers. And she's engaged. Doesn't that suck?
Chris: Yeah, that sucks like a bitch man. Where is she right now?
JC: Over there, on that railing.
Chris: Hey, doesn't it look like she's about to jump off?
JC: Yeah, it kinda wait a second! She is jumping off!
Chris: Go save her man!
Meanwhile, Joey has to find peace away from the crazy saga known as NSYNC, so he goes out on the boat deck and looks out over the water.
TeenyBopper # 1: Hey, isn't that Joey from NSYNC?
TeenyBopper # 2: You mean the other NSYNCers have names? I thought it was just Justin, JC, and those other three guys that know them.
TeenyBopper # 1: Well, whoever it is, he might know Justin. Let's go rip off his clothes!
TeenyBopper 1 & 2: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
Joey: What the AHH!! (Runs off in the other direction of the teenyboppers)
TeenyBopper 1 & 2: We want Justin! We want Justin!
Joey: Heeeeellllpppp meeeee..
Meanwhile
JC: Don't jump!
Rose: Who are you!?
JC: Mine name is JC and you are really fine so don't jump!
Rose: Oh, well that's very encouraging.
JC: Well uhh (thinks of something suave to say) If you jump in, you are so fine I would have to dive right in after you, and then we'd both freeze to death in that cold as hell water. You don't want to kill me, do you?
Rose: Well, I suppose not, but
JC: Come on, just come back on this side of the railing and we can talk about it.
Rose: Well, ok. (Climbs back up the railing. And then she trips with her stupid high heels and falls, but then JC pulls her back up)
Rose: You saved my life.
JC: Kinda ironic, huh? You were gonna jump off, but then you just ended up falling anyways.
The TRL guy (you know, Carson?):Unhand my fiance!
JC: Fiance?!
Carson: Yes, my fiance.
JC: How old are you, like, 13?
Carson: No! I'm 28! I just act like a 5 year old when I'm VJing! Wait a second, there wasn't any tv in 1912 I play a 5 year old on the radio or something like that. Anyways, what were you doing with my wife!?
Rose: He saved my life!
JC: Yeah, she, uh, fell, over the railing, and I, uh, caught her.
Carson: Oh. Well. That's wonderful. Why don't you join us for dinner tonight?
JC: Uhhh. I dunno..
Rose: Please?
JC: OK!
Meanwhile
Chris: (talking to himself again) I hope JC saved that Rose girl OK.
Voice in the distance: Ahhhh.
Chris: Where have I heard that sound before
Voice in distance: Ahhhh. (gets louder)
Chris: Oh yes, now I remember
Voice in distance: Ahhhh. (gets louder)
Chris: It was a concert in Tokyo
Voice in distance: Ahhhh. (gets louder)
Chris: And Joey was being chased by a bunch of screaming-- (Joey runs by, screaming his head off and his shirt is half ripped off, followed by about 50 teenyboppers, hands outstretched.)
Chris: girls. Hmm. It's too bad everyone thinks I look like a gay. .
Meanwhile, the dining room that Justin and Lance were in has turned into a gay strip joint because there was nothing better to do with it after dinner time.
Lance and Justin: (Up on a stage, Lance doesn't have his shirt on, Justin does) (singing) Here we go.. one more time.... those girls look fucking fine here we go.. but yes yes yes Here We Go.... being gay is da flow! (they stick there tounge out at each other, and Lance reaches to unbutton Justin's shirt.)
Justin: Noooooooo!!!!
Lance: (jumps back) (music stops)
Justin: You can't take off da shirt foo alls those peoples will see my anorexic body yo! (runs off the stage crying)
Lance: (Shrugs his shoulders and continues singing and stripping)
Meanwhile, JC goes to dinner.
Rose: What are you wearing?
JC: You don't like it? (He's wearing his same outfit he wore in It's Gonna Be Me video)
Rose: It's very, um, original.
JC: I know, I picked it out myself!
Rose: Sheesh
Meanwhile, Joey thinks he's finally lost the teenyboppers.
Joey is panting heavily.
Teenybopper: Where'd he go?
Joey: Oh dear, I can't run any longer.
Different Teenybopper: In here!
Joey: Uh-oh.
Another Teenybopper: There he is!
An annoying teenybopper: Maybe Justin touched the shirt he's wearing!
Yet another teenybopper: Get it!!
(Teenyboppers start grabbing at Joey from everywhere, and they grab him everywhere)
Joey: Heeeeeellllllpppp meeeee
After Dinner
Carson: We're all going to the smoking room. You want to come JC?
JC: Uhhh. No thanks.
(Carson, and everyone else leave)
JC: We're all alone now Rose, what do you want to do?
Rose: I don't know, maybe we could go dancing somewhere and then afterwards go have sex in somebody's car.
JC: Sounds good. I know a good dancing place, but you're going to have to tell me where they keep all the cars.
Meanwhile
Chris:Geez, this place sure is boring. Isn't there anyone out there who thinks I don't look like a gay? Someone? Anyone? Please.
(JC and Rose walk by)
Chris: Hmmm I wonder where they're going. Maybe I should follow them and find out.
After sobbing for nearly half an hour, Justin decides to take a walk on the boat deck. He sees about fifty girls ripping clothes off of something. A piece of cloth flies right past his face.
Justin: Yo, dat looks like Joey's shirt. It is Joey yo! Those girlz are rippin all his clothes off yo! Aight! Maybe I should help him or something yo. Do I have a reason to help fat ass though? No, I'm not gonna save his ass, the only person I'd ever save is JC, because without him I would never have gotten to meet Lance.
But Justin doesn't know that in talking to himself he let the teenyboppers hear him, so in the blink of an eye they are all off the nearly naked Joey, and start ripping clothes off of Justin.
Justin: Aww g! Now all those fly Teenyboppers will know that I'm anorexic and experiment being like my brothers with bod-ay paint yo! They will never buy our cd's. They make up 97.34% of the dumbasses that buy our crap CD's!
Joey: (runs off, wearing only boxers, not caring whether Justin was being molested or murdered)
Meanwhile, in a loud dance club looking sort of thing in the lower decks
JC: Welcome to the best dance club on the Titanic, the Futuristic Dance Arena. In the future they're supposed to have this music called 'disco'.
Rose: It's very, um, interesting.
Chris: (he's kinda back still at the door after following JC and Rose, and he's talking to himself) Cool! A disco club in 1912! I'm the happiest man alive.
JC starts dancing like a weirdo with Rose, and Chris breaks down and gets funky with his bad self. For awhile, Chris' dancing is the hit of the party until
Some dude: Hey, look at that guy, he's ugly! What's that thing on his head?
Some lady: He's got the ugliest hair I've ever seen!
Some other person: He's he's a gayl!!
Another person: Hey sir, stop dancing! You're ugly! We hate ugly people here! Ugly people can't dance!
Chris: (stops dancing) But you guys thought I was a good dancer 5 seconds ago!
Some dude: Yeah, well, now we think you're ugly, so every opinion we have about you changes.
Chris: That's not fair!
Some lady: Tough luck, chick.
Chris: (leaves dance floor and sulks in a corner)(talks to himself again) Why does everyone think I'm ugly? It's not my fault Busta Rhymes gave me bad taste in hairdos. It's not my fault Justin wants to be black and introduced me with Busta-Bust. It's not my fault that one of my eyeballs always seems to be a little bit bigger than the other.
Laura: (ok, I had to make a special appearance in this story) I think you'd be even cuter if you cut your hair.
Chris: Huh?
Laura: I think you should cut your dreadlocks.
Chris: Someone someone likes me?!? I'll cut my dreads! (cuts them with a knife he had in his pocket)
Laura: Uh-huh. Wow you look better! And I even like your eyes.
Chris: I'm I'm speechless, will, will you marry me?
Laura: Um, I'm 13?
Chris: That's Cool! I can wait!
Meanwhile, Lance decides to take a stroll after he gets all his clothes back on. He notices a pile of girls, shreading something to pieces.
Lance: Justin! My Boo! What are you girls doing to him?
About one fourth of the girls run over to Lance, but in anger that some people might be hurting his one and only true love, he throws them over the side of the ship. He runs over to the other pile of girls, and pulls them off two by two and flings them over the side of the ship too. Finally, he reaches Justin, shirtless, but at least he still has his pants on.
Lance: Justin, are you ok?!?
Justin: (in some what of a state of shock) they they took took my my shirt shirt... yo...
Lance: Oh, my poor baby! I will take care of you! (carries him off to their bunk)
Back in the dance club
JC: Oh, Rose, I love you
Rose: Great, now we can go find that car and have some sex!
JC: Woo-hoo!
Chris: (on the other side of the dance club)(He's still talking to his only fan in the world) I'm the happiest person in the world! I have a fan! (starts dancing and singing) I have a fan I have a fan
Laura: Shh I don't want people to know I like you! It would be embarrassing!
Chris: Oh, of course it would. I'm so sorry.
Outside of Joey's room
Joey: Finally, I'm here. This ship is so damn big. Whose stupid idea was that? Oh well, at least now I can get into some clothes. (Joey puts his hand on the door when)
Teenybopper # 1: Revenge of the teenyboppers!
Joey: Help me god!
Teenybopper # 2: We know you don't like Justin, so we must torture you!
Joey: Oh no, angry Justy teenyboppers. This is the worst thing in the world.
Teenybopper # 3: We will torture you with our annoying little voice, and we will tell you how hot and sexy Justin is and we will tell you we will marry him some day, and then we will bitch you out about how we're going to get our lawyer on you to sue you for saying such mean things about Justin, and then we're going to back all of our opinions up with we have freedom of speech!
Joey: NOOOOOO!!!!
The teenybopper gang of about 15 proceed to tie Joey up to a chair so he has no way of getting out of their bitching.
Somewhere near the Titanic, on an iceburg-like thing
Drew(the 98* boy): Hahahahaha After the Titanic hits this iceburg all the NSYNC guys will be dead.
Nick(98* boy): Then all the teenyboppers will come to us!
Jeff(98* boy): Yes, they will all bow down to Jeff!
Justin(98* boy): Then I'll be the Justin with the most!
JC and Rose after they had sex in a car and put on their clothes really quick, and now they are on the boat deck near the end of the ship.
Rose: Hey, look at that pretty iceburg!
JC: Yeah it sure is pretty
Rose: Gosh, we sure are getting awfully close to it.
JC: I hope we don't hit it.
BOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!! (Ice shatters everywhere onto the deck. JC hears faint laughing from 4 guys, but ignores it)
Rose: Oh dear, I think we hit it.
JC: Me too.
Meanwhile, in Justin and Lance's room
Justin: What was that foo?
Lance: I don't know, it kinda sounds like we hit something.
Justin: Oh well. At least I'm safe now.
Lance: Uh-huh. No teenyboppers can get us in here.
Teenybopper # 1: We know what room you're in! You can't hide from us! We made Joey tell!
Teenybopper # 2: You better open up the door or we'll knock it down!
Justin and Lance: Uh-oh
Meanwhile in a dark room on the bottom of the Titanic
BOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!
Teenybopper # 3: What was that?
Teenybopper # 4: It sounded like we hit something.
Joey: Please I told you where Lance and Justin were let me go
Teenybopper # 5: Nonsense! We will never let the mean things you have said to Justin go unpunished!
Joey: Trust me! You've punished me enough!
Teenybopper # 4: Never!
Joey: Fine! Then I will use my last resort Justin is gay!
Teenybopper # 6: What did you say?!?!?!
Joey: Justin is gay, Justin is gay, Justin is gay, Justin is gay, Justin is gay!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All Teenyboppers: Noo. The truth, it's destroying us help. I'm melting
Joey: (Attempts to squirm out of all the ropes he's tied up in.)
In Justin and Lance's room
Lance: How can we get out of here?!?
Justin: I don't know! I'm the dumb one yo!
Lance: We can climb out the window, and jump down onto the deck!
Justin: Good idea foo!
Lance and Justin climb out the window, and Lance jumps out and lands safely.
Justin: I'm scared Lance!
Lance: Don't worry, I'll catch you!
Justin jumps and lands safely in the arms of Lance.
Justin: Lance, yous my hero yo!
Down on the deck there are a bunch of people running around with bags and getting in the lifeboats.
Lance: Excuse me, officer, what's going on?
Officer guy: (he looks really nervous) The boat is sinking. All woman and children must get in the lifeboats, because there is only enough for half the ship!
Justin: Oh man yo! Dat's not good!
Officer guy: (to Lance) Come on, ma'am, you must get in a boat!
Lance: But I'm not a OK! Cool! I get a free ride in the boat for looking like a girl!
Justin: But Lance yo I'll miss you foo!
Lance: Yeah, whatever, I get to live and you don't! Ha ha ha haha ha! (Lance gets in a lifeboat so he can float off to safety)
Back on deck with JC and Rose
Another Officer Guy: The boats sinking, you need to find yourself a lifeboat!
JC: Sinking?
Rose: We're sinking?
Another Officer Guy: Yes!
JC: I've got to find you a lifeboat!(Drags Rose to where the lifeboats are)
Different Officer: Women and children only please!
Rose: But, I can't leave, you jump, I jump, remember?
JC: No, but if you don't want to leave you could just say so.
Rose: I don't want to leave!
JC: OK!
Back in the dance club
Some officer guy: Excuse me, may I have everyone's attention? The boat is sinking!
Everyone: WhaT?!?
Some officer guy: It's sinking, but they have to let all the upper class people on the lifeboats first. If there's anymore room left, you guys can get on. We're going to lock you guys down here, OK?
Chris: But I'm first class!
Some officer guy: Then why are you down here?
Chris: Because someone down here likes me!
Some officer guy: That's pretty hard to imagine. I mean, come on, you look like a gay! Why would anyone like you?
Back on the deck
Justin: How dos I live with out my boo? How dos I live? How dos I gos on living?
So, Justin decides to jump off the edge off the ship and drown in the icy water. It's too bad really, but that was the death of Justin.
Back below the decks, Chris is standing against a locked gate with a guard on the opposite side. There are a bunch of lower class people behind him begging to get out too.
Chris: Please, you've got to let me out! I'm part of the band known as NSYNC. I'm riding in upper class!
Officer: But, you are the least popular singer of a gay group.
Chris: Of course I'm the least popular singer of a gay group!
Everyone looks at Chris strangely
Guard: So that means you are traveling in lower class. No least popular members of gay groups are allowed upstairs.
Chris: But, please, I've got to get back up there!
Guard: You are gay. If you were in a band you would have to be cute. But you are gay.
Chris: I'm not gay! God damn it, I'm not gay! Please! Why do people call me gay! There are some people in this world that don't think I'm gay.
Guard: That is very hard to believe. No least popular singers of gay groups are allowed upstairs.
Chris: (spies Joey running from something) Joey!! I'm so glad you're here! Tell this guy that I'm riding in first class!
Joey: (Still has just his boxers on and is bruised up from being beaten up by teenyboppers) (Pushes and shoves people out of the way so he can talk to Chris)
Chris: What happened to you? You look like shit!
Joey: Don't ask. Listen man, we have to get up there. We're riding in first class, and we need to get off this boat.
Guard: You aren't wearing any clothes. No least popular singers of gay groups or naked people allowed upstairs.
Joey: Please, we have to go up!
Guard: You have red hair! You are a red haired freaky naked man!
Joey: I don't have red hair! My hair is brown! I just dyed the top part of it!
Guard: No least popular singers of gay groups or red haired freaky naked men are allowed upstairs!!
Teenyboppers: Ahhhh!! We have come to get you, guy who made fun of Justin!
Joey: Oh shit.
Joey starts running, but realizes the only places to run are toward the gate, or toward the girls. So, he has to run towards the teenyboppers, because the other way's a dead end. Once he reaches the teenyboppers, he tries to run straight through them, but it is impossible. There are hundreds of them. They all grab him and jump on him and kill him. And that was the death of Joey.
Later, Chris and all the rest of the lower class people are all waist deep in water.
Chris: You've got to let us out of here! We're going to drown!
Guard: No least popular singers of gay groups allowed upstairs!
All of a sudden, the water over powers the lower decks, and a big wave of water comes at the poor lower class people. It drowns them all. And that was the death of Chris.
Back on the top deck
JC and Rose are at the front of the ship because the back is starting to sink into the water. Now i'm going to skip the part where JC saves Rose and the boat totally sinks, because that's boring, and i'm going to go straight to the part when they are in the freezing cold water and Rose is on the nice warm board and JC's freezing in the water.
JC: Hey, Rose, why don't you move over so I can sit on the board with you?
Rose: Because you're a fat and you'll make it sink!
JC: Come on, I'm freezing here!
Rose: No, there's not enough room!
JC: Are you kidding? That board is as big as a king-sized matress. And we did it in a tiny car! How can you call that not big enough for two people to lie on? Now let go of the board and let me on!
Rose: I'll never let go JC
JC: Let go of the damn board!
Rose: I'll never let go
She bonks JC on the head with a smaller board and knocks him unconscious. Then she peels his fingers off the edge of the board and shoves him off. And that was the death of JC.
Unfortunately, Lance still lives. But that is the thing with bad movies. The worst people in them always seem to be the ones to live.